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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24554089">Proof Of Life In The Shadows</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Current_Queen_Of_Hell/pseuds/Current_Queen_Of_Hell'>Current_Queen_Of_Hell</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Always You [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Percy Jackson and the Olympians &amp; Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AU, Actor AU, Actor Leo Valdez, Actress Piper McLean, Aged-Up Character(s), Alive Charles Beckendorf, Alive Silena Beauregard, Angst, Drug Abuse, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Leo Valdez Needs a Hug, M/M, Multi, Musician Jason Grace, Mutual Pining, Piper McLean is a Good Friend, Rehabilitation, Running Away</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:48:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>79,388</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24554089</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Current_Queen_Of_Hell/pseuds/Current_Queen_Of_Hell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Nico is tasked with bringing a, supposed, demigod to Camp Half Blood safely. Except, the only issue with that is that this specific demigod happens to also be an A-List actor who's been involved in more controversies than Nico can count. It's not at all how Nico wants to spend his time, but here he is working as Leo Valdez's Personal assistant for the foreseeable future until he can convince the washed up superstar that the monsters he keeps seeing are real. </p><p>Or: Nico is tired and doesn't like Hollywood, Leo thinks he's going insane and is tired of stardom, Piper and Jason are good bros and everyone else needs a reality check.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Calypso/Piper McLean, Hazel Levesque/Frank Zhang, Jason Grace/Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano, Nico di Angelo/Leo Valdez, Past Calypso/Leo Valdez - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Always You [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1818391</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>104</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>169</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thanks for checking this out. I don't really know what I'm doing here yet but I do have sort of a plan, I promise.<br/>Either way thanks for looking at this and giving it a chance!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nico frowns at the magazine in front of him. It’s some stupid gossip magazine that only has shit articles and fake drama. The cover shows a guy, he can’t be any older than Nico, leaning against a wall, looking absolutely wasted. He’s staring up at the sky, a delirious look on his face. The headline reads ‘The time-bomb’ in big, bold, yellow writing. Underneath it says, ‘Shocking revelation as A-lister teeters on edge of another meltdown after sex-tape scare’. Nico wrinkles his nose in disgust. He never understood people’s obsession with others and their personal lives. What people do in their free time is their own business. Not that the guy looks like anyone Nico would defend. He looks exactly like everything Nico hates.</p><p>Chiron is looking at him expectantly, his arms crossed over his chest. He’s staring like Nico is supposed to understand. For the Gods’ sakes, he doesn’t even know the guy on the magazine. He could just as well be looking at a stock photo of someone having a meltdown and he’d have a higher chance of recognizing the person. Like this, it feels like watching paint dry. Nico knows he should recognize the guy on the cover but no matter how much he tries to think, he can’t come up with a name to match him.</p><p>“What am I supposed to do with that?” He finally relents when it becomes clear that Chiron won’t be telling him anything.</p><p>“That’s Leo Valdez.” Chiron says as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world. It’s not, “He’s been in and out of rehab since he turned 17, five years ago. He’s been charged on accounts of assault and been prescribed medication to keep his so-called meltdowns in check.”</p><p>“So?”</p><p>Chiron shakes his head and produces more magazines with similarly unflattering covers, “I have reason to believe he’s a demigod. Most of his accounts of what he’s seen match monsters we fight. When he was eight his mother died in a mysterious fire and Valdez was put into the foster system. Since then he’s had more than enough run-ins with people, he claimed to have been monsters. No one ever took it seriously and sent him to therapy instead. He’s been self-medicating since he was 17.”</p><p>“Why should I care about some washed up child star who can’t keep away from drugs?” Nico asks, “If he’s really a demigod he’d be dead already. No one can survive until they’re twenty-two on their own.”</p><p>“Nico, please. I have a feeling about this just like I had one about you and Percy. I want you to look into him. Bring him here.”</p><p>Nico snorts, he’s been alive long enough to know that Valdez is probably just another celebrity who couldn’t deal with it. “Chiron, you’re blowing this out of proportion. He’s probably just traumatized or something.”</p><p>“I have been doing this long enough to know a demigod when I see one. I’ve been watching Valdez since his first breakdown. He’s a demigod. I know it.”</p><p>“So? Get Percy or someone else to do it.”</p><p>“Nico…”</p><p>“No. I’m not good with people. I won’t be trying to convince some arrogant celebrity wannabe that he’s half god.”</p><p>“I can’t send Percy. He’s done. You’re one of the oldest at camp, I trust you. Please?”</p><p>“No. There’s absolutely no way I’m doing this.”</p><p>“His life is in danger and you’re acting like it doesn’t concern you!” Chiron bellows slamming his fist down on the table.</p><p>Nico has long ago gotten used to people yelling, “Look at it logically,” He scoffs, “The Gods have to claim their kids at sixteen. Someone would have seen; someone would have known. He’s not a demigod.”</p><p>“Nico for once in your life listen to me. I’m telling you he is important. You will go there, and you will bring him home, do you understand?”</p><p>He wants to argue, but the way Chiron is looking at him reminds him of what he thinks the wrath of all the 12 Olympians might look like.</p><p>“Are you sure there’s no one else who can go?”</p><p>Chiron smiles, leaning back in his wheelchair, he knows Nico will agree. “I am absolutely certain. I don’t trust Silena or Beckendorf to do it and you’re the oldest one here I’m willing to send.” He smiles sadly, “We don’t have many left since Manhattan. Let’s not lose another one, yes?”</p><p>Nico knows. He knows there aren’t many left. He was there. He watched those kids, children and teenagers fight and die all because the Gods didn’t care. He’d watched innocent kids fighting the Gods’ war. But this isn't like Manhattan at all. This is some random kid who’s been in too much trouble.</p><p>“What in Tartarus am I even supposed to do? I can’t just waltz in there and go ‘<em>Hey you’re a demigod let’s go</em>.’ Can I?”</p><p>“No.” Chiron shakes his head and slides over a lanyard with an ID card, “You will be his new Personal assistant. He’s just returned from rehab and every time he does his manager hires a new assistant. This time, that assistant is you. You’ll be living at his house, accompanying him to every event, interview and whatever else he has to go to. You will remind him of his schedule and do anything else that’s expected of an assistant.”</p><p>“You’re pimping me out? Seriously?”</p><p>“I am not ‘pimping’ you at all” Chiron does air quotes around the word ‘pimping’ clearly not understanding what it means, “It’s the easiest way to gain his trust and you’ll be there to supervise him and protect him.”</p><p>“You turned me into a glorified bodyguard.” Nico deadpans, “Why is he so important to you, anyway?”</p><p>“He’s a child. He deserves to live a normal life.”</p><p>“He’s 22 and clearly not looking for a normal life.”</p><p>“Just bring him here, will you?”</p><p>“Fine. But I’ll be claiming that computer I need to do research.”</p><p>Chiron smiles and rolls out from behind his desk, pulling out various news articles and magazines, dropping them on the table.</p><p>“The computer is yours for the rest of the week. Here are all news articles I’ve collected over the years.”</p><p>“You really went full stalker on him, huh?”</p><p>Chiron ignores him in favor of leaving the room and moving out onto the veranda. Nico follows behind, an arm full of Leo Valdez gossip articles with him.</p><p>“You’re starting next Monday. Valdez spends most of his time in his house in Scarsdale or in his apartment in London.”</p><p>“You’re not expecting me to trek after him to London, are you?”</p><p>“You’re his new assistant, aren’t you?”</p><p>Nico laughs, he can’t believe this. “Chiron, that’s a bit much for one demigod, isn’t it? You’re telling me I’ll be travelling, flying mind you, to Europe for one guy?”</p><p>“Then think of it as a quest. Zeus won’t strike you down, not after Manhattan. He hasn’t struck down Valdez yet either and he might as well live on the plane.”</p><p>“This is ridiculous.”</p><p>“This is your new life.” Chiron hands Nico a sheet of paper, “Annabeth has put together his schedule for the next week. Normally that would be your job, but we thought it would be better if she did so. She’ll continue to send you weekly schedules, however if any change comes up it will be your responsibility to manage it.”</p><p>“This is so not what I signed up for when I came to live here.” Nico mumbles. He glances at the schedule and already wants to throw up. It feels like every second of every day is filled up with interviews, brunches, meetings and other crap that Nico could honestly live without.</p><p>“It’s your job now. The faster you convince Valdez of coming here the less time you have to actually spend assisting him.”</p><p>Nico sighs, “Is there anything else I’m responsible for?”</p><p>“Yes.” Chiron hands him a sheet of paper that looks like he printed it off of one of those Job advisor websites, “You will manage incoming and outcoming communication, oversee his scheduling and appointments with the help of Annabeth, we’ve listed her as another assistant to Valdez.  You’ll also be responsible for event planning, client representation and general life maintenance tasks.”</p><p>“What exactly is ‘life maintenance’?”</p><p>“You will complete everyday tasks on behalf Valdez, such as doing laundry, reading mail, paying bills, grocery shopping, and even dog walking. Household management tasks such as cleaning and cooking can also be requested. It really depends what Valdez will need you to do.”</p><p>“You’re telling me I’m doing all his household chores and micromanaging him? What does he even do? Does he just lounge around all day?”</p><p>“It was the easiest way to get you close to him.”</p><p>Nico scoffs, “Are you sure you’re not just setting me up for a summer job?”</p><p>“Absolutely positive. Though, if you’d like to, I could set you up for one?”</p><p>“Save your breath. I’m getting this done as soon as possible and then I’m never working again.”</p><p>Chiron laughs but Nico doesn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing his disgruntled face. This is the worst quest of his life, and that says a lot. Never in his 22 years of life did Nico think that he’d end up as an assistant to some lazy, drug addicted A-lister who can’t even do his own grocery shopping.</p><p>“Am I getting payed for all of this shit?”</p><p>Chiron wrinkles his nose at the curse but doesn’t reprimand him, not this time. “Yes, of course. Valdez’s manager has assured me that you will be earning above average of a typical personal assistant.”</p><p>“And how much is that and for how long?”</p><p>“You’ve been promised $100,000 annually for now.”</p><p>Nico’s eyes nearly bulge out of his eyes. That’s a lot more than he was expecting. From what he’s heard from Percy that’s almost double of what normal people make. All that for being an assistant? Nico can already see the paycheck in his hand, heavy and big. Hell, even if he doesn’t do it for a full year, he’d finally have enough to get a small apartment for himself. Not that Camp Half Blood isn’t great, it’s just that sometimes the curfew and Harpies and constant noise is too much. Getting his own apartment sounds like the best thing in the world. Fuck, Nico could happily, well maybe not happily but without complaint, deal with Valdez bullshit for a salary like that. A salary like that, and Nico will be the happiest personal assistant Valdez has ever had.</p><p>“You’re shitting me, right?”</p><p>“Not at all, Nico. Valdez’s manager has assured me that it is merely a starting point. Most of the past assistants have quit relatively quickly and, since Valdez has gained in popularity, his worth has as well. They’re willing to pay more based on your performance. This does not yet include the end of year boni that many of his past assistants have received.”</p><p>“Holy shit.” Nico whispers. This is the best thing to ever happen to him. Finding a job as a Demigod is fucking hard, alright. It’s living in constant fear of monsters and paranoia. This, though. This means doing basic life necessities and getting payed for it. Killing monsters and cleaning a house are already Nico’s everyday life. This isn’t much different, now that he thinks about it. Except, of course, he’s being payed.</p><p>“How in Hades did you get me this job?” Nico is fully aware that he sounds like a starstruck idiot but it’s a valid question and he has to know. He’s in no way qualified to be an assistant, to anyone, much less an A-list celebrity.</p><p>“Hazel may have helped with bending the mist.” Chiron admits, a little bashfully, “His Manager is convinced you’ve been an assistant for years and know what you’re doing. Don’t mess up.”</p><p>“Chiron, I appreciate the trust, but I don’t know anything about anything that has to do with celebrity stuff. The only celebrities I know are ones, form like the thirties!”</p><p>“Well, you have a week to get to know them then.”</p><p>“No, you don’t understand. I don’t even have a phone.”</p><p>Chiron smiles knowingly and produces one from his pocket, holding it out to Nico. It looks expensive and high-tech and Nico is very afraid that he’ll lose it.</p><p>“Won’t monsters find me?”</p><p>“I had the Hephaestus kids take a look at it. Annabeth is lending you a laptop so you can do your job and stay in touch with us. We will also be giving you a tablet just in case.”</p><p>“Why do I need three of all that?”</p><p>“Just to be sure.” Chiron says and leaves it at that. Nico knows he won’t be getting more out of this. Chiron has organized everything, and Nico has no say in it. He still doesn’t understand why he has to be the one to get Valdez to camp. It’s a job Annabeth would be a lot more appropriate for. She’s good at micromanaging and all that, does it all the time. Nico on the other hand, has never managed anyone. The only schedule he’s ever made was the one for camp training and even that one he had to get Annabeth to help him with. It hadn’t gone well. There’s no way this will go well. But damn, for a salary of a hundred grand, Nico is willing to try. By the end of it he might even be able to afford a PlayStation for his cabin, if he can’t get an apartment that is. Percy had taken his PlayStation to New Rome so Nico couldn’t even use that one. So yes, for a hundred grand, Nico would be willing to try.</p><p>“Thank you, Nico. This is very important to me.”</p><p>Nico shakes his head, waving his hand already stepping down the stairs onto the grass in front of the big house, “Yeah, yeah. Don’t thank me yet.”</p><p>Chiron chuckles, watching Nico go. This will be the longest fucking week of Nico’s life.</p><p> </p><p>As promised, when Nico opens the door to his cabin there’s a laptop and a tablet lying on the desk in the corner. They look just as expensive as the phone. The chargers are lying on top of the electronics along with a set of equally as expensive looking headphones. At least Chiron thought to do that for Nico. He’s not sure if he could survive without music, especially after his old iPod got drowned in the pacific during an unfortunate dip during a quest. Nico hadn’t gotten around to buying a new one, but he figured he won’t need to. The only thing he’ll have to do his convince Chiron to let him keep the stuff after the new quest. It shouldn’t be too hard, after all Annabeth has a laptop, so why shouldn’t Nico? He’s a senior camper so he might as well get some privileges.</p><p>He grabs the laptop and drops on his bed. Better get started on research now when everything is fresh. Also, because he doesn’t know whether he’ll have the motivation to research anything tomorrow. Right now, sounds like a good time to waste the day reading gossip magazines.</p><p>He types ‘Leo Valdez’ into the search bar and immediately approximately fifty million articles, photos and videos show up on the screen. Half of them are of his latest breakdown. The other half are other stupid gossip shit. The only useful thing Nico finds is the Wikipedia article. He clicks on it and is bombarded with a photo of Leo Valdez, for once, not looking like he’s on the brink of death but instead smiling at some convention. Underneath are various facts that Nico could honestly care less about, but he figured he should know them if he’s meant to be working for the guy. So, he memorizes Valdez’s birthday, birthplace, life facts, various meltdowns and filmography along with the list of brands he’s modeled for. The more Nico reads about Valdez, the less sympathetic the guy gets. Every new line about him is like stepping into the pits of Tartarus. Ranging from assault charges to drug trips and leaked sex tapes. Nico has to double check twice just to make sure he actually read Valdez’s age right, because there is no way that the guy could have been involved in this much shit in only 22 years. But now, 22 to it is and from what Nico can tell Wikipedia isn’t lying.</p><p>He was charged with assault when he was 18, just after getting out of rehab as usual. Apparently, Valdez had pushed and hit a paparazzi following him. The charges were dropped when it was declared that Valdez wasn’t in a clear state of mind at the time and he’d been sent right into the next therapy session. To be fair, Nico doesn’t really see the issue here. If he’d been Valdez, he’d have done a lot more than only punch the paparazzi. Still, it didn’t stop there. It just kept going and going and by the time Nico arrives at the filmography section Nico has read enough trauma to last a lifetime.</p><p>The filmography section is long, and Nico doesn’t understand how one person, at the ripe old age of only 22 can be in so much shit and still get cast in so many movies, commercials and TV shows. Between the blockbusters Nico finds a few music videos and even more modelling campaigns. He feels like he’ll fall asleep if he has to keep reading. It’s too much. There are photos of Valdez at award shows and events and none of them look even close to the Valdez that’s printed on the magazines. He looks polished, sure a little bit wild, but mostly cute and funny and friendly. He looks like any other 22-year-old does. A little tired and a little insecure but mostly confidents.</p><p>Nico is pleasantly surprised when he reaches the charity section. It’s almost as long as the meltdown section, which at least is something, and the various charities that Valdez works with seem like they do a lot of good. There are photos of Valdez standing in hospitals, in character, smiling at the kids in the hospital beds, taking photos with them. Nico has to admit that it’s a little bit cute. Still, it doesn’t excuse all the other shit Valdez keeps getting into.</p><p>Nico runs into an issue with his research after he finishes the Wikipedia article. That issue being that all that that article says are facts, statistics, things that won’t do shit for Nico when he’s supposed to be assisting Valdez and hopefully get him to camp. His IMDb page isn’t any more helpful either. Nico tries to go on his twitter and other social media to find even a fraction of personality from Valdez but the page last tweet was months ago , from before the last meltdown, and Nico thinks that he’ll die if he has scroll through the hundreds of old tweets and Instagram photos.</p><p>He groans and shoves his laptop to the end of the bed. This had seemed so easy in theory but in practice it’s a whole lot harder. The thing is, it’s not like Nico knows anyone that’s obsessed with celebrities enough to know anything about Leo Valdez. Annabeth doesn’t care for them, Percy doesn’t care for anything that’s not Marvel and as far as Nico has seen Valdez hasn’t been in any of those movies, Hazel is just as new to the world as Nico is and Frank, well Frank cares for A-listers about as much as Nico does, which is not at all. The only ones who know anything about celebrities are the Aphrodite kids but Nico’s not about to talk to them. Except, how he sort of is. He doesn’t have much of a choice, now does he. He’s not going to show up to work on Monday duly unprepared and miss the massive paycheck he could be getting. No sir, he’d rather put up with the Aphrodite kids.</p><p>He comes to the conclusion that the only trustworthy Aphrodite kid is Silena and that she’s the only one who won’t laugh at Nico’s predicament. He knows she’ll snicker and probably demand answers but at least she’ll be somewhat helpful. And if Leo Valdez really is as big a deal as Chiron and the general public make him out to be then Silena is bound to know about him. At least Nico hopes so, otherwise this will be very embarrassing.</p><p>He shrugs on his jacket and shoves his hands into his pockets, walking out of the cabin and into the too bright mid-day sun. Around him campers are running and yelling, laughing and talking. It’s nice in a way Nico can’t describe and he knows he’ll miss it when he leaves on Monday. Two years ago, he would’ve laughed at the idea of calling Camp Half Blood his home but now he can’t think of anything else to call it. Even with Percy and Annabeth not here, it’s still home.</p><p>Nico finds Silena sitting on at the amphitheater, watching the sparring match there. She’s probably waiting for Beckendorf to finish up so they can go out. The past few years, the rules have gotten looser. The older campers can finally go out without needing a quest, so long as they let Chiron know and are back by a set time. Silena probably planned another date for herself and Beckendrof.</p><p>“Hey…” He starts awkwardly, because really how do you approach a daughter of Aphrodite to ask her about an actor without making it look like you have a crush on said actor. Not at all, that’s how. Nico already knows he’ll be the talk of the camp by the end of the week.</p><p>She turns to him, smiling gently, “Hey. Do you need something?”</p><p>“Uh, yeah, actually I came here to ask you something.” He says desperate to waste time to figure out exactly how he’s going to explain this. Chiron always says the less kids know about quests like these the better, so how is Nico meant to explain this at all?</p><p>“Anything at all.” Silena says patting the place next to her.</p><p>Nico drops in it pathetically, “I got a quest from Chiron.” He decides to say. “And I sort of need your help with it.”</p><p>“Do you need to alter your appearance or…?”</p><p>“No, nothing like that.” He racks his brain for a way to get into it, “You did an internship as a stylist last summer right?” It’d been the talk of the camp, the first time a camper had been allowed to leave camp for something that wasn’t home, school or a quest. No one had shut up about if for weeks.</p><p>“Yeah. It was at Nadine West.”</p><p>Nico nods, thought the name means nothing to him, “Well, Chiron sort of pimped me out as this A-lister’s personal assistant and I know nothing about the guy so I was hoping you could help?” He says all in one breath. He hates this, hates to talking to people like this. It’s embarrassing.</p><p>“Who would that be? I can’t help you if I don’t know who you’re working for.”</p><p>“Leo Valdez?” Nico says though it comes out as more of a question.</p><p>Silena squeals, her eyes wide, hands coming up to grab Nico’s shoulders, “Oh my Gods! You’re going to meet Leo Valdez!”</p><p>“I guess?”</p><p>“You don’t understand, he’s the heartthrob right now! He and Tristan Mclean are like, all over our cabin walls!”</p><p>“You’re kidding. He can’t be that famous.”</p><p>She rolls her eyes, “Gods, aren’t you gay? What do you even wank to?”</p><p>Nico wants to say something but decides not to in favor of scrunching up his face instead.</p><p>“He’s literally, like, the hottest guy right now.”</p><p>“But he keeps having meltdowns and stuff.”</p><p>Silena shakes her head, “He’s so sweet and friendly. He never hurts anyone.”</p><p>“He had an assault charge--“</p><p>“It was dropped. Trust me, he’s the sweetest person in the world.”</p><p>“How do you even know that?”</p><p>“I went to a meet and greet like three years ago, at a premier. It was the best thing ever. He signed my poster and took a picture with me.” She pulled out her phone, the one that senior-senior campers like her and Beckendorf are allowed to have those lucky bastards and shows Nico her lock screen and lo-and-behold, there Valdez is smiling with a 19-year-old Silena next to him. He’s shorter than her, but he still has his arm around her shoulder. It looks sweet.</p><p>“So, he’s nice and good looking? That’s it?”</p><p>“He’s a fantastic actor and model as well.”</p><p>Nico isn’t quite sure what qualifies someone as a great model, but he’ll take it.</p><p>“You should watch some of his interviews and promo stuff.” Silena offers and shit, Nico hadn’t even thought of that. That would’ve been a good way to figure out Valdez’s personality.</p><p>“I have his movies, if you want to watch them. I can lend them to you.”</p><p>“That’d actually be great.”</p><p>She lights up and gets to her feet, marching down the amphitheater and toward the Aphrodite cabin. Nico follows behind as best as he can. She’s talking the entire way, Valdez this, Valdez that. It makes Nico question how sane Valdez’s fans are.<br/>She presses a stack of DVDs in his hands. “These are all the movies I have.”</p><p>Nico looks down at them to see that most of them are signed. He raises his eyebrow at her questioningly.</p><p>“I go to any meet-and-greets I can.”</p><p>Nico decides not to question it. It’s better if he just stays quiet, lest he ruin this opportunity. Looking at it like this, he wonders why Chiron didn’t just ask Silena to do the Quest. She’s a billion times more qualified than Nico is, that’s for sure, and she’s genuinely interested in these kinds of things. Nico can tell that Silena is thinking the same thing, but they both know why she’s not being given the Quest. Ever since Manhattan, she and the other traitors have been on probation. No quests, no missions. It’s a miracle she even gets to go outside with Beckendorf.</p><p> </p><p>Nico spends the rest of the day watching Leo Valdez’s movies, TV shows, interview and various photoshoots. He misses dinner in favor of watching the latest interview, the one just before the meltdown. He falls asleep soon after, the next interview already playing on his laptop.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. It's a glorious gone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Chapter title from Twenty One Pilots 'Leave the City'.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Why aren’t you dressed yet?” Piper asks, her voice full of exhaustion. Leo knows she’s tired. They all are. Promo season is starting soon, and his recent incident hasn’t made it any easier. He knows. He knows that if she could, Piper would spend her days on the couch watching TV and going out only to get fast food from across the street and to walk her dogs. He knows that if he could, Jason would do the same, sitting in his room all day, witting music and playing it only for the three of them. But that’s not how it is. That’s not how it’s been since they were young, since Piper and Leo went to that stupid audition when they were sixteen and since they met Jason at a small party a year later. It’s been a constant flurry of people and their watchful eyes around them since. Leo hasn’t known peace in a long time.</p><p>“I was too tired.”</p><p>“We talked about this, Leo, you can’t skip out on this.”</p><p>Leo looks up from paper he’d been fiddling with, “Why not? Everyone already knows the story. Why do I have to talk about it again?”</p><p>Piper sighs and looks to Jason for help, “It’s only one interview about it. One question. That’s all.”</p><p>“You know that it isn’t. The whole thing will be about the breakdown.”</p><p>“But then it’s over.” Piper tries and they all know that’s not true. It won’t be over. The breakdown will come up in every interview until he does the next idiotic thing. Then it’ll be that.</p><p>“We can do a movie night afterward?” Jason offers.</p><p>Leo rolls his eyes, “You have to go to the studio. And Pipes has her own interview to attend.”</p><p>“I’ll cancel. Come on, it’ll be fun.” Piper puts her hand on his shoulder reassuringly, “I’ll cancel all my evening stuff and we’ll get popcorn, ice cream, all the good stuff.”</p><p>“Yeah, I’ll be back from the studio before five and then we can just hole up on your couch and watch whatever you want.” Jason says.</p><p>It always goes like this. Last time Jason had a public breakup, even if it was a publicity stunt, they’d all locked themselves in Jason’s house and listened to sad break up songs and baked too many cookies to eat. When Piper’s photos form her cloud had been leaked, she’d refused to leave her room and Leo and Jason had spent an entire week sleeping on the floor in her room, staying up until the early morning talking, laughing and distracting Piper. This thing is no different. It’s not the first meltdown and Leo knows it won’t be the last. By now, they’ve got the procedure down to a T. Piper and Jason will buy snacks and cuddle Leo on the couch until none of them can keep their eyes open anymore. They’ll hold him when he cries and, in the morning, Leo will pretend like it never happened. It’s how it goes.</p><p>“Now, come on, your stylist will be here in thirty minutes.” Piper hoists Leo from his barstool and pulls him in the direction of one of the bathrooms, “Let’s get you cleaned up. Did you brush your teeth yet?”</p><p>Leo shakes his head and she nods resolutely. “Jace, can you open the door for Cindy when she comes?”</p><p>Jason doesn’t answer but they know he will. He’ll let her in, make her tea and then call down Leo so they can get him dressed and made up properly.</p><p>Piper closes the bathroom door behind them and looks Leo in the eye, “Listen, I know this is hard, but it’s not the first time. You know how to deal with this.”</p><p>“I know. It’s just doesn’t get any easier.”</p><p>“I didn’t say it does. But you know how to answer, you know how to avoid questions you don’t want to answer, and you know how to charm their pants off.”</p><p>“But I don’t want to have to avoid questions. We gave them my no-list, didn’t we?”</p><p>“Leo, we both know that they ignore the list. They’ll ask anyway. All we can do is deal with it and do our best to look charming and pretend like it doesn’t bother us at all.”</p><p>Leo drops into the empty bathtub and looks up at her with empty eyes, “I can’t do this anymore Pipes. I’m tired and I feel like it’s getting too much.”</p><p>Piper can feel her chest tightening. She sighs and sits next to the bathtub, holding on to Leo’s hand tightly, “It’s going to be okay I promise. You’ll go in and you’ll charm their pants off. They won’t even remember the incident when you walk out of there.”</p><p>“Promise?” He asks, his voice so small that Piper wants to cry. The voice doesn’t belong to him. His voice is meant to be loud and boisterous and happy, not this. Not on the brink of existence.</p><p>“I promise.” And somehow, Leo believes her. He always does. Piper has a way with words that Leo will never understand.</p><p>“What do you say, we get you ready and then we’ll get you dressed and then we can have breakfast?”</p><p>Leo nods and she grabs his toothbrush form the counter. On normal days, Leo would object to being babied like this, but today is not normal. Today is an interview at The Breakfast Club to talk about his latest endeavor with rehab and the breakdown that started it. Leo hates these interviews. Everyone knows the story anyway. He’d apologized on Instagram and his PR team had published a carefully constructed explanation on all his other social media. Leo doesn’t see why he needs to go on a breakfast show to talk about something everyone already knows. They know that he screamed at thin air and passed out afterward. They know that he was in rehab for a month and they know that he was wasted at the time. What more is there to tell?</p><p>Piper hands him the toothbrush and watches as he slowly, too slowly, brushes his teeth. If it were up to her, Leo would be staying at home for at least another three weeks. He’s slow and tired and muted, not at all like the boy she met at boarding school when she was fourteen. This is an empty shell of what Leo is meant to be.</p><p>When he’s done brushing his teeth, she helps him out of the bathtub and to the sink, talking the entire time. Silence was never something Leo liked. Piper learned that relatively quickly. Now, she fills every quiet second with chatter, just to make sure Leo doesn’t get stuck in his own head. Just in case.</p><p>Jason calls out to them that Cindy is here, and Piper leads Leo down the stairs. Cindy, Leo’s personal stylist of three years, is standing at the kitchen talking to Jason. She’s an older lady, with grey hair and pointy glasses but she’s nice. Piper always liked her. Cindy was never bothered by Leo’s breakdowns or mood swings. It’s the only reason she’s been here for the past three years. The stylists Leo had had before that quit relatively quickly. All of them grew tired of Leo eventually. Piper resented them for it. She knew she shouldn’t, but somewhere deep in her heart she couldn’t accept that anyone could get tired of Leo.</p><p>“Breakfast show, is it?” Cindy asks, although she knows exactly where Leo is going. “Well then, let’s get to it.”</p><p>Jason gets a chair from the dinner table and moves it into the middle of the living room so that they can still be together when Cindy is doing Leo’s hair and face. Piper sits on the back of the couch while Jason elects to take a seat at the bar counter.</p><p>“What do you wanna watch later?” Jason asks.</p><p>“I dunno.” Leo shrugs and Cindy glares at him for moving. He smiles at her back at her apologetically. “We could watch one of those crime shows you like, Pipes.”</p><p>“Nah, I want to be able to sleep tonight. What about that World War II movie Jason wanted to watch?”</p><p>“Dunkirk?” Jason asks, “Isn’t that too serious?”</p><p>“Yeah, I don’t wanna see some dudes murdering each other like that.”</p><p>“What else then?” Piper asks.</p><p>“The notebook is always a good choice.” Cindy says. Piper laughs and Leo makes a gagging motion.</p><p>“I’d rather cut off my own foot, thank you very much.”</p><p>“Boys these days, no class.”</p><p>Leo rolls his eyes, a soft smile on his face, “What about Iron Man?”</p><p>Jason shrugs and Piper nods, “I can watch Iron Man.”</p><p>“Me too.” Jason agrees, “Leo could probably star in it too, with how many times he’s seen it.”</p><p>“Oi, boy wonder, shut up. You can quote every Superman movie word by word.”</p><p>“It’s my greatest talent.”</p><p>“I think your greatest talent is cooking, but you know, to each their own, I guess.” Piper mumbles absentmindedly. She’s not wrong. Half the time, Jason is the one to cook. They may not live together, not officially at least, but with how often Jason and Piper are over at any of Leo’s houses they basically do. They each have their own designated rooms in each house or apartment and the three of them have the chores all split among them. They all have assistants, but the fact that making the assistants clean and do all the chores is just creepy, had been a one that all three of them were able to agree on quickly. So, they’d decided that Leo makes the beds and cleans most of the time, Piper goes grocery shopping (Leo gets distracted too quickly) and Jason cooks. Anything else they have to do they split up some other way. Leo had had a maid at one point, but relatively soon he’d figured out that he very much did not enjoy the idea of some random lady constantly being in his house and moving his things.</p><p>“Did you already meet your new assistant?” Jason asks, as though he can read Leo’s mind.</p><p>Leo groans and leans back in the chair further. Cindy gives him a disapproving look. “No, my manager sent me a photo and his CV, but like, honestly I don’t care. He’s gonna be like the rest of them. I’ll bet that he quits within the month.”</p><p>“Have you ever thought about giving your assistant a chance?”</p><p>“Jace, bro, just because you’re crushing on your ex-assistant doesn’t mean all of us are that lucky.” Leo says and Piper snorts water into her nose. She coughs and laughs even harder when Jason goes beet red.</p><p>“I am not crushing on Reyna.”</p><p>“And I’m not a stylist.” Cindy mumbles, and Leo is reminded why he likes her so much.</p><p>“I don’t! We’re just friends.”</p><p>“Sure, and she gives all her friends free passes to her gym classes and invites them on her family vacations?” Piper asks, “When am I getting an invite then?”</p><p>“You’re the worst. I hate you so much.”</p><p>Leo and Piper cackle viciously and Jason feels his soul depart from his body. When he’d met them four years ago, he was not ready for the force that is Piper McLean and Leo Valdez. He’d been a small singer who’d been invited to play a venue for a party Piper and Leo happened to be attending. Jason hadn’t expected much form the evening, past some tips and a few “thank you”s. Maybe a photo or two and a few free drinks. Instead he’d gotten two phone numbers, a huge tip and a shout out on Leo Valdez’s official twitter and a drunken selfie on Piper’s. Jason was convinced it was a fever dream until he woke up the next morning with a lipstick stain from Piper on his cheek, a sticky note on his jacket from Leo and about a billion notifications on twitter. To this day, Jason is convinced it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him. That and the time a dog on the street ran up to him and Jason got to pet a stranger’s dog for almost twenty minutes. That moment is a close second.</p><p>“Is he hot though?” Piper asks suddenly. Cindy snorts.</p><p>“Who?”</p><p>“Your new assistant. Is he hot?”</p><p>“For as much as you promote body positivity and self-love, you really are the exact opposite sometimes, aren’t you?” Leo asks.</p><p>“I don’t know what you mean. All I want to know is if there’s a possibility for you to get laid.”</p><p>“I’m not fucking my assistant.”</p><p>“That’s what Jason said as well, now look at him.”</p><p>Jason makes a choked noise somewhere in the back of his throat and Leo chuckles, “He’s not fucking her yet. For now, he’s only a pining idiot.”</p><p>“Same thing. So, is he hot?”</p><p>“I don’t know. Judge for yourself.” Leo grabs his phone from the counter and pulls up the photo of the new assistant. Josephine, his manager had sent it to him the day before. She had attached any other information she had about the assistant, but Leo hadn’t bothered reading it. What for? They’re all the same. They micromanage Leo, which to be fair is their job, and all of them grow tired eventually anyway.</p><p>“Oh, he’s cute. Maybe not hot, he looks too angry to be hot, but cute definitely. What do you think Jason?” Piper asks handing Leo’s phone to him.</p><p>Jason squints his eyes at the photo and scrolls down the messages to read the CV and other stuff Josephine had attached. “He seems okay. He hasn’t worked for anyone I’d recognize.”</p><p>“What else does it say?” Piper asks, seemingly only now realizing that the photo isn’t the only think Josephine sent.</p><p>“He’s from Italy, he’s twenty-two and he’s worked with people like Leo before. He used to be a personal trainer and works as a counselor at a summer camp.”</p><p>“Great. He’s gonna treat me like a child.”</p><p>“He’s your age. That’s the youngest one you’ve ever had.”</p><p>“So? Doesn’t mean he’ll be different.”</p><p>“Judging by his emo face and angry vibe I’d say he’s very different.”</p><p>Leo rolls his eyes and grabs his phone back, “What do you think Cindy?”</p><p>Cindy stops her work on Leo’s face momentarily to peer over the edge of her glasses at the screen in front of her. She raises her eyebrow at the photo and then goes back to working on Leo’s face.</p><p>“I’m questioning Piper’s taste in men.”</p><p>“Hey, what’s wrong with him?” Piper asks.</p><p>“Honey, he looks like he’s been stuck in 2010 for the past decade.” Cindy deadpans, “I doubt he’s slept since 1989.”</p><p>Piper rolls her eyes, “I doubt he was alive in 1989.”</p><p>“Exactly.”</p><p>Leo laughs and Piper dramatically falls over the edge of the couch, landing on the soft cushions and blankets that still lay there from their last movie night. She spreads out her arms and looks over at Leo.</p><p>“Did Josephine talk to him yet? Or is this another one of those impromptu hires?”</p><p>“The last assistant retired too suddenly. Josephine didn’t have time to talk to him personally. But the guy’s agent or whoever it was said that he’ll be great.”</p><p>“Do you trust her judgment?” Jason asks.</p><p>“I don’t know. The last few sucked but she means well. She always does.”</p><p>Cindy puts down the last of her brushes and goes to wash her hands. Leo gets up from the chair to stretch, immediately feeling better. Sitting still for so long is the worst thing on the planet. He gives Cindy a side hug and thanks her for her work after looking in the mirror. His face looks perfectly healthy, not a trace of acne or tear stained cheeks to be seen. He looks the way everyone wants him to, and Leo isn’t sure he likes it. Still he’s thankful for everything Cindy does for him.</p><p>“Which one of you hooligans is next?” Cindy asks, her arms crossed over her chest, the chair in front of her empty waiting for the next one.</p><p>“I’ll go!” Piper volunteers, already getting up from the couch to drop on the chair, “Please fix this.”</p><p>“There’s nothing to fix.”</p><p>“You know what I meant. Make me look like an actual human being, please.”</p><p>Cindy chuckles and starts on Piper’s hair.</p><p>“Do you have any venues this week?” Leo asks. He’s sitting on top of the counter, his legs dangling.</p><p>Jason shakes his head, “No, just studio sessions. You should come by some time. They’re always so boring.”</p><p>“You could ask Reyna to come.” Leo wiggles his eyebrows.</p><p>“Absolutely not. Besides she’s visiting family Puerto Rico.”</p><p>“Damn. I’ve always wanted to go there.”</p><p>“You’re rich, book a vacation.”</p><p>Leo tuts, “It’s promo season, little Jason. Did you forget already? The only time for myself I’ll be getting for the next few months is a toilet break and the time where I’m sleeping.”</p><p>“No, Leo, you forgot, they’ll want updates on your sleeping schedule again.” Piper cuts in.</p><p>“Right, never mind. Only pee breaks then.”</p><p>“You’re impossible. We both know you enjoy interviews.” Jason says.</p><p>“So? Can’t a guy want any privacy?”</p><p>“You chose the wrong career, honey.” Cindy says.</p><p>“What else was I supposed to do?”</p><p>Piper shrugs, “You were pretty good at woodshop and math in high-school. Could’ve studied mechanical engineering or something.”</p><p>“Right and end up broke in a ditch somewhere. No thank you.” Leo deadpans, “Besides, I couldn’t have left you behind.”</p><p>“I’d have survived. My dad’s rich, I’d have payed for an apartment and then you could have had a garage and I could have done whatever the fuck I want.”</p><p>“So you’re telling me I could’ve spent my life freeloading at your dad’s expense instead of doing this?”</p><p>Piper shrugs, “Sort of.”</p><p>Leo groans and throws his head back. “I hate you so much.”</p><p>“I love you too.”</p><p>Piper takes another hour to get ready. Cindy does her hair beautifully, just on the right side of messy that Piper always likes, and her face looks perfect. To anyone who doesn’t know better it looks like Piper isn’t wearing make-up. In reality her face is full of it. All their faces are. Last time Piper went out with no make-up there was an ugly headline the next day, ripping Piper apart for the acne she’d been sporting at the time and Piper had cried in her room for an hour because she’d believed she was ugly. Piper hates it. She hates getting up every morning and putting on make-up, so carefully constructed that it looks like she’s not wearing any at all. She hates that that’s how it has to be. That if she wears a full face people call her a slut and tell her to tone it down and if she wears none they call her ugly and make speculations about meltdowns and breakups that could lead to her looking the way she does, when really, a pimple and eyebags are normal. She’s had them all her life, she’d never had clear skin. It just hadn’t been something she’d ever achieved. Neither had Leo, and soon enough to both realized that acne was not a look models or celebrities could sport. So, they put on unholy amounts of make up each day just to appear alive. At first Leo had joked about it, thought it funny, but soon enough after the first public meltdown he’d realized that make-up works quite well to cover up puffy cheeks and red-rimmed eyes. Jason, for whatever unfair reason, always had clear skin. In the four years Piper and Leo have known Jason, neither of them has ever seen even a pimple on that unfairly attractive face.</p><p>Cindy takes extra care with choosing Leo’s outfit. It’s the first public appearance since his last meltdown and, even if it’s just a radio show, it will be recorded, put on YouTube and Leo will be there for the whole world to judge. She gives him a button down and a sweater on top along with skinny jeans. It looks good. Casual, but planned. Cindy takes care to choose a Patek Philippe watch for him and a pair of Kenneth Cole shoes. Leo cares for neither brand. He thinks Patek Philippe watches are ugly and blocky and Kenneth Cole shoes look the same as any other shoes he finds in a cheaper boutique, but he wears them. He wears them because that’s his job. He’s a model and he’s long ago learned that the runway isn’t the only time it matters what he wears. It matters when he goes to take out the trash and it matters when he’s going to a fundraiser. It makes a difference if he’s wearing Walmart flip-flops or if he’s wearing Kenneth Cole shoes that cost him $750. There are days where Leo feels like he might as well be a walking billboard for brands to display their merchandise on. He’s sure Piper feels the same, maybe even more with the way each of her outfits is carefully constructed. Leo wonders sometimes where the dream of being an actor and model was worth it. Whether all of this, was worth his autonomy. Late at night when he’s staring at the ceiling because the pills didn’t work and he can’t get the monsters out of his head and thinks, no, it wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t worth it back then when Piper and he auditioned simply for the heck of it and some extra cash and it isn’t worth it today when he’s living in a mansion outside of New York, titled this year’s bachelor by Vogue. He thinks that maybe he should have just opened a small garage and fixed people’s cars. Maybe it would have been preferable. It certainly would be preferable to doing yet another interview about yet another meltdown.</p><p>Leo used to think that what he sees is real. There was a time, where he’d look out of his window in the small flat he and Piper shared, and he’d see monsters. The ones parents use to scare their kids. With big teeth and scales and spit dripping down from their jaw. He’d been scared and paranoid. Each time he saw them he’d close the curtains, scared and maybe just a tiny bit curious. The therapist had said that it’s the trauma. His brain trying to cope with everything that was going on. Turning all the horrible things that had happened, his mom’s death, the leaked sex tape, the horrible foster homes, all of it, into real monsters. He’d accepted it. Then it had become too much and the bottom of a bottle had seemed more inviting than the monsters his brain was creating. Except soon enough the bottom of a bottle wasn’t enough and the pills in his hand seemed more inviting. Passing out in an alleyway after screaming at the supposed monsters hadn’t been intended. Leo had thought the small white pills would make it go away, they only made it worse though. He’d woken up in a hospital bed, a crying Piper and Jason at his side and Josephine holding a magazine that read ‘Child-star: Out of Control’ with a photo of Leo, passed out in an alleyway, an empty bottle of Vodka next to him and a flashlight pointed at him. Leo had soon learned to get used to the headlines. They became second nature. Just like going to clean up interviews became second nature. Each breakdown meant another mandatory therapist, another admission to rehab and another series of interviews to clean up. If his PR team felt that the breakdown had been particularly bad, they might even throw in a PR relationship, just to show the world how stable Leo was now. They’d boast about each month sober and about each after party he went to that didn’t end in a meltdown, like it was some sort of competition.</p><p>“Hey, we’re here.” Piper says, startling Leo from his thoughts. He looks out of the car window, vaguely registering that they must have left his house and driven here. He smiles and nods, gripping her hand tightly. Piper gives the driver a tip and gets out of the car, still holding on the Leo’s hand.</p><p>“I’ll be there the whole time. You know what to say, what to avoid and how to ignore anything you don’t want to answer.”</p><p>“I’m scared.”</p><p>“This is just like any other interview. You go in, you tell them you’re doing much better and that the breakdown was foolish, and that rehab went well.” She says, her voice commanding yet understanding, “You tell them that you were stressed and that you’ve been going to your therapist regularly and you promise that it won’t happen again. You’ll smile and laugh at their jokes and you’ll flirt with the interviewer if it’s a woman and you’ll laugh at the interview’s jabs if it’s a man. This is muscle memory; you know what to do.”</p><p>Leo wonders sometimes if Piper is a Jedi. His head feels a lot clearer than it was a second ago and he feels like he knows exactly what to say and do. It’s unnerving.</p><p>“Thank you, Pipes.” He says. He wants to be snarky, to be like himself but recently he finds it’s been harder. Piper smiles and grips his hand tighter.</p><p>She leads them to the entrance where an intern escorts them to the studio. Piper gets to sit behind a window to watch the show while Leo gets wired up. Just like practiced, Leo laughs at the jokes and flirts with the female intern. He grins and jokes and if Piper didn’t know any better, she would have never suspected there was even a breakdown. But she does know better and she knows that the way Leo’s shoulders never drop and the way his hands waver when he’s speaking isn’t confidence, but anxiety and she knows that after the interview is over, he’ll be dry heaving into the toilet. She knows and she feels helpless in her seat behind a window, watching it happen from an outside perspective.</p><p>The interviewer, Mike, Piper learns is his name, counts them down and then they’re on air. Leo takes a deep breath and Piper can see his eyes flick over to the window where he knows she’s sitting. She gives him a reassuring smile and does her best to look supportive.</p><p>Mike starts the interview by talking about mundane things. The new season of the show Piper and Leo star in, the movie that’s coming out soon and the various promotional questions Leo is trained to answer. He asks about Leo’s latest charity event and how Jason and Piper are doing. Then he asks about the meltdown. It was expected. The meltdown had been the condition for the interview. Come on the show and promote your stuff, show the world you’re fine again, but talk about the meltdown, they’d said. Josephine had booked it the second it had been offered.</p><p>“So, you just returned from rehab last week. How’s that been going?” Mike asks, his head leaning on his chin, a mean glint in his eyes. Piper wants to punch him.</p><p>Leo, to his credit, smiles charmingly just like they were taught and chuckles, “It’s been going well. Piper and Jason have been a huge help in getting me back on my feet since I got out. They’ve seriously been so helpful. I couldn’t have done it without them.” He says, his voice trained and professional, “I was struggling at first, but I’m good now. I realized while I was doing rehab that I just don’t want to spend my life going from one clinic to the next, you know?”</p><p>“That’s great, Leo. It’s good to hear you’re doing well.” Mike says, “So, can you tell us anything about the incident? Why it happened? Our listeners are worried and would like to know what lead to it.”</p><p>Piper scoffs loudly. It’s always the same excuse. ‘Our listeners are worried about you’, ‘your fans love you; they just want what’s best’. It’s all bullshit. Most of Leo’s fans are the exact opposite and they all know it. They’re sweet, sending Leo gifts and cards and asking him for photos in the street. They’re not the ones writing disgusting headlines about every aspect of his life.</p><p>Leo’s smile doesn’t waver, “It was a lot of things, I think. I was under a lot of stress and I wasn’t in a good place at the time. A lot was going on, and I didn’t know how to cope properly.”</p><p>“That sounds horrible. Did Calypso have anything to say about it?” Mike asks and Piper is seriously considering strangling him. Calypso was Leo’s last PR relationship. The relationship was entirely fake, but both their PR teams had insisted it would be a good idea. Calypso needed the boost in clout as an up and coming model and Leo need the world to believe that he was stable. The staged breakup was public and gross.</p><p>“She came to visit once or twice. We’re on good terms. She wished me a good recovery and we talk sometimes.”</p><p>“How did you feel after the break-up? Surely you must have felt horrible?”</p><p>“I will admit, I was sad, and I felt alone for a long time, but I have not hard feelings toward Calypso. She’s sweet and we both agreed that it just wasn’t working out.”</p><p>“Were your past incidents part of the reason?”</p><p>Leo chuckles to cover up the fact that he’d rather be anywhere else in the world right now and shakes his head, “No, not at all. Calypso was very supportive of me and she was a great help in getting better.”</p><p>“Then why did you break up, if you don’t mind us asking.”</p><p>“We were seeing each other barely ever with our busy schedules and with travelling so much that we just didn’t see it going anywhere.” Leo fidgets with his sweater nervously, “We both agreed that what we had wasn’t a real relationship anymore. We barely saw each other and eventually we just grew apart. That’s all there was.”</p><p>“I’m glad to see that there’s no bad blood.”</p><p>“No, not at all. I love her, just not romantically. I think we’re better off as friends.”</p><p>Mike nods and shuffles through his notes again. He must realize that Leo’s done talking about the meltdown and his relationship. The interview continues a little longer, with more mundane promotional questions. The ones that Leo can answer in his sleep because he’s been trained to.</p><p>When Mike calls out the end of the show and thanks Leo for being there, they shake hands and Mike gives Leo a friendly pat on the back. The moment he steps out of the studio, Leo beelines for the bathroom. Pipers sighs and follows behind to wait in front of it. She waits a few minutes before Leo comes out again, looking considerably more okay. He has a tired smile on his face and his hair is mussed. Piper can see a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead but that’s okay. The interview is over, and Leo did it. He answered the question he talked about it and let the world know that he’s okay. He did well. Piper throws her arm around him, pulling him out of the studio. It’s time for lunch anyway.</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Drown it out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nico groans as he stares at the pile of clothes in front of him. It’s enough for three weeks, easily, but somehow it doesn’t look like enough. He grabs another pair of black jeans and tosses them into the suitcase before removing them again. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to wear. Is there a dress code? Is there a specific way he has to dress, or can he show up in his usual attire? Additionally, where in Hades, is he supposed to put his sword? He can’t very well walk into some A-lister’s house with a big-ass sword and play it off like it’s normal. No thank you, Nico is not that socially inept. He flops down on his bed and gives up on trying to figure it out himself.</p>
<p>He pulls a drachma from his pant pocket and throws it toward the air humidifier on the windowsill. He mumbles the usual incantation, hoping Iris is so inclined to help him out. As it turns out, she is not. There’s a message in the mist, something about the desired person not being available at the moment but Nico doesn’t stick around to read it. He gets up from his bed and makes the trek from his cabin to the Aphrodite cabin across the field. It’s the ass-crack of dawn and Nico would greatly prefer sleeping in, but he has a video call with Annabeth at 9am so she can show him how to make a proper schedule and pretend like he knows what he’s doing so unfortunately he has to be awake right now.</p>
<p>When he arrives at the Aphrodite cabin and knocks on the door, he gets shushed, which first of all, rude and second of all what? He knocks again and there’s a loud groan before someone opens the door. Silena stares back at him, a serious look on her face. She glares at him before realizing who it is, then drags him into the main room to the rest of the kids who are all huddled into the room, intently listening to the radio.</p>
<p>“Uh, what is going on?” He asks and immediately gets shushed again. A few girls glare at him even. He looks to Silena for help She pulls him into a corner and whispers to him.</p>
<p>“We’re listening to The Breakfast Club. Leo Valdez is on. It’s important.” She explains but Nico still doesn’t get it. What’s so special about Valdez, seriously? Even after watching what felt like a billion interviews Nico can’t see the appeal. Sure, the guy is cute, maybe even handsome but that’s it. His answers to questions are smooth and practiced and most of them are delivered with a flirtatious smile that Nico really wants to punch off. The only time he found Valdez bearable was when the other one, Piper McLean, was with him. That’s the only time Valdez ever seem like an actual human. Every other time he looks like robot that was trained to pretend to be human. It’s unnerving.</p>
<p>But McLean doesn’t seem to be on the show and just from hearing snippets, Nico can tell that Valdez is uncomfortable. Do the others not realize that? Are they too caught up in being in love with a celebrity that they can’t even tell that the answers he gives to answers sound like he practiced them in front of a mirror? He wants to beat some sense in them.</p>
<p>“Look this is all great, but I actually came here to get help, so…”</p>
<p>Silena glares at him and shakes her head, “After the interview.”</p>
<p>“How long’s that gonna take?”</p>
<p>“At least another half an hour. You can either listen with us and be quiet or go and wait somewhere else.”</p>
<p>Nico frowns, weighing his options. On one hand, staying would probably be smart just to get Valdez’s own words on the situation, but on the other hand the words are probably fake, and Nico is tired of hearing that boyish voice that sounds like it still hasn’t gone through puberty. He decides that slashing at a dummy in the training field sounds a whole lot more interesting than listening to Valdez’s sob story.</p>
<p>“I’ll be out. Come find me at the training arena when you’re done.”</p>
<p>She nods, immediately engrossed in the breakfast show again and Nico thinks it’s a good time to leave.</p>
<p>The training grounds are mostly empty, save for a few insane campers who decide that being awake this early in the morning is a good idea. He spots a few younger campers and when he sees Chiron explaining today’s training regime, Nico is glad he wasn’t at camp when he was their age. There is no way Chiron could have gotten him to run laps around the training grounds. He would have died before he’d let himself be embarrassed like that.</p>
<p>Nico grips his sword tighter and imagines that it’s Valdez and his stupid annoying meltdowns he’s slashing away at. After sleeping on it, Nico came to the realization that no paycheck in the world is worth babysitting an arrogant, accident prone superstar. Nico imagines that if he slashes hard enough, he can make the quest disappear and he can go back to sleeping in every day and training the younger campers in the afternoon. If he tries hard enough, he can even pretend that Chiron never offered him the quest, much less even laid eyes on the stupid burn out. The phantasy is destroyed when Silena calls out to him from across the field. She’s waving him over and Nico accepts the fact that, no, he’s not getting out of this as much as he’s praying to every God in existence.</p>
<p>“Take a shower first. I’m not helping you when you look like that.” Is the first thing out of Silena’s mouth when he stands in front of her.</p>
<p>He hates to admit it but she’s right. Sweaty and angry is not a good look on anyone, much less Nico so he begrudgingly treks over to the showers after stopping at his cabin to get a change of clothes. Silena waits there for him.</p>
<p>“So, do tell, what can I help you with?” She asks when she deeps Nico appropriate to be seen around with.</p>
<p>“I don’t know what the dress code is for being a celebrity’s PA.” He laments.</p>
<p>“Just dress in business casual.”</p>
<p>He stares at her with a flat look until it dawns on her that he has no idea what the fuck ‘business casual’ is meant to be. To Nico those two words are inherently conflicting. There is no way any business outfit could ever be casual.</p>
<p>Silena sighs and moves to stand in front of Nico’s wardrobe. Nico doesn’t have the heart to tell her that she’s about to be duly disappointed.</p>
<p>“Do you have any gabardine, wool or cotton pants? I’ll have them pressed for you.”</p>
<p>“I don’t even understand any of those words separately.”</p>
<p>“What about button-downs? Long sleeved and cotton, preferably.”</p>
<p>“I don’t have a normal button-down.”</p>
<p>Silena grimaces and shifts through Nico’s entire wardrobe, which honestly isn’t big. “Do you have leather shoes and belts? Ties?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know how to tell you this, but I have never in my life even been in a store that sells ties.”</p>
<p>Silena looks like she’s about to drop dead. Her face is scrunched up in pain and she keeps shifting through Nico’s clothes, as though, if she only looks long enough, she’ll find what she’s looking for.</p>
<p>“What about Khaki? Do you have that?”</p>
<p>“I would rather go into Tartarus again than wear Khakis.”</p>
<p>“At least you know what they are,” Silena mumbles under her breath. “You can’t show up like that. That’s just- No. No matter how casual your client is, you can’t show up in black skinny jeans with rips in them and band t-shirts. I’m not allowing it.”</p>
<p>“Well what do you want me to do? I don’t have any of the shit you want me to wear.”</p>
<p>“Maybe someone in my cabin can lend you something?”</p>
<p>“I don’t think I’d survive wearing that.”</p>
<p>She frowns, “Then you’ll have to go shopping.”</p>
<p>“I am absolutely not going shopping.”</p>
<p>“Nico, I’m trying to help, I really am. But you can’t show up like this.” She gestures to his outfit.</p>
<p>“What if I wear jeans that aren’t ripped?”</p>
<p>“That’s like 1% better but still not good. Please, at least a pair of gabardine pants, pressed ones.”</p>
<p>“I don’t even know what that is.”</p>
<p>Silena sighs and leans against the now closed wardrobe, “Fine. Write down your sizes and I’ll buy you clothes. Chiron will let me out if it’s for your quest.”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to.”</p>
<p>“I absolutely do. I am not letting you wear that to your job as a PA to Leo Valdez. It’s my duty as a daughter of Aphrodite to make sure you don’t embarrass yourself.”</p>
<p>“I’m not paying for the clothes.”</p>
<p>She rolls her eyes, “Chiron will pay if it’s for your quest. Now write down your sizes somewhere so I can buy the right clothes. Or at least try to.”</p>
<p>She grabs a piece of paper form Nico’s desk and a pen and hands it to Nico. He stares at it for a long time and Silena’s eyebrows wrinkle, “You do know your sizes, right?”</p>
<p>“I know my shoesize, if that help.”</p>
<p>She sighs dramatically and goes back to his wardrobe, scribbling down what she finds on the tags in his clothes, “Gods give me patience before I kill him.” She mumbles as she writes. “Your clothes always look too big so I’m getting you a size smaller of everything. One day I’m getting you measured properly.”</p>
<p>“That day is not today. Come on, I have a video call with Annabeth in five minutes.” He says ushering her out of his cabin.</p>
<p>“Oh? Say hi for me. I miss her.” She smiles and gives him a half hug. He goes stiff but she doesn’t seem to mind, “I’ll be back probably after dinner. You’re leaving tomorrow, right?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, thanks for the help.” He grumbles out.</p>
<p>She beams at him and skips down the stairs and across the law toward the Big House. Nico watches her go. He nearly jumps out of his skin when his phone goes off. He runs over to answer the call, pulling up his laptop to make it easier. When he finally accepts the call, Annabeth is staring at him disapprovingly. She raises one eyebrow then the other when she takes in his expression.</p>
<p>“What’s got you riled up like that?”</p>
<p>“Aphrodite cabin.” He explains and a look of empathy dawns on Annabeth’s face. She nods in approval. She launches into her lecture a minute later, when the formalities are out of the way. Percy comes by the say hello once, but the rest of the call is filled with Annabeth’s factual tone of voice telling him how to create and organize a schedule in excel and how to set up a voice mail on his phone that sounds professional enough to be PA’s. She walks him through managing and creating several email accounts and how to create automatic responses. When he’s got answering basic emails down (mainly thanks to a template Annabeth sends him), Annabeth launches into how to set up google alerts and which he should put alerts on. It’s exhausting and Nico is terrified of anyone who actually does this as a job.</p>
<p>“Do you know how to properly and efficiently operate a calendar?” She asks him after a while and Nico is at a loss for words.</p>
<p>“How to do what? That’s a thing?” He asks, “That’s an actual skill I need to know?”</p>
<p>She nods and then launches into an in-depth explanation of how to manage a calendar, and how to shift around events efficiently. Nico feels like he’s a child and Annabeth is trying to explain Calculous to him, except he feels like calculous might actually be easier. This, Nico decides, is pure torture. There’s no other way to put it.</p>
<p>“How good are you with making appointments?”</p>
<p>Nico gulps. This is the part he’d been dreading. Making appointments is the bane of his existence. Every time he has to make an appointment at the dentists or anywhere else, he feels like throwing up. The only way to get through it is to hype himself up and make a script.</p>
<p>“Define good.”</p>
<p>“Can you confidently place a call to make a reservation at a five-star restaurant that has waiting times of months?”</p>
<p>“How hard can it be?” Nico asks foolishly. The answer is very. Annabeth, apparently, is ruthless. Nico had always, in a way, admired her in battle. Her quick wit and fast paced way of thinking had always struck out. Now though. Nico is starting to gain a new appreciation for her.</p>
<p>She stages a fake call. She tells Nico to pretend to be making a reservation at a restaurant, her posing as the receptionist there.</p>
<p>“Hey, so uh, I was wondering if I could get a table for two tonight?” He tries.</p>
<p>Annabeth shakes her head, “Wrong. You sound like a teenager asking out his crush. Try again.”</p>
<p>Nico groans, “Fine.” He takes a deep breath and does his best to appear composed, “Is there any room for a reservation tonight, for two preferably?” He ends it with a tight smile.</p>
<p>“Absolutely not. You don’t ask. You state and you demand.”</p>
<p>“But that’s rude.” As much as Nico hates interacting with people and how little of an issue, he has with being rude to fellow campers, being rude to waitstaff and people just trying to do their job is not something he likes. “I can’t just demand.”</p>
<p>“You can and you will. You’re the personal assistant to Leo Fucking Valdez, pull yourself together. Try again.”</p>
<p>He glares at her, “A reservation for two, tonight, please.” He grits out.</p>
<p>Annabeth rolls her eyes, “That’s not what I meant. Here, I’ll show you.” She sits up straighter and looks him straight in the eye as she speaks, confidence so prominent Nico questions whether she’s not actually a daughter of Aphrodite, “Hello, I’m calling on behalf of Mister Leo Valdez. I would like to make a reservation for tonight, at eight. A table for two please, preferably toward the back. Thank you very much.”</p>
<p>“That’s so pretentious.”</p>
<p>“That’s how you’ll be speaking until you convince Valdez to come to camp.”</p>
<p>“I can’t do that.” He groans.</p>
<p>“You better learn then. Now, you try again.”</p>
<p>Nico wants to dig a grave and bury himself in it. Annabeth keeps putting him through his paces. She has him try again and again and again. When he finally gets the basic script down, she tells him he needs to be able to deal with rejection. So, she pretends there are no tables and has Nico figure out what to do. When he figures out how to argue enough to get a table, she has him try and reschedule an appointment. By the time he learns how to reschedule a basic hairdresser’s appointment she decides it’s time to learn how to reschedule an interview. Nico learns that not only does he hate being on the phone, he also hates being an inconvenience to people who are just trying to do their job. Unfortunately, that’s what being a PA seems to be. When Annabeth decides he’s good enough at calling and scheduling appointments she has him plan a guest list. As it turns out, planning a party is damn near impossible. If it were up to Nico, he’d shadow travel to the nearest McDonald’s and forget about this whole thing. But no, here he is trying to figure out how to put together a guest list. Nico earns a newfound respect for any PA out there.</p>
<p>“Why do you even know all this?” He asks after what feels like a century of practicing.</p>
<p>Annabeth shrugs casually, “I did an internship with my dad a few years back, as his assistant. He’s a professor so he constantly had me schedule his symposiums.”</p>
<p>“That sounds exhausting.”</p>
<p>“It was. But it helped, didn’t it?”</p>
<p>Nico doesn’t answer. It feels like too much, all of it. He’s not used to talking this much, much less actually demanding things of people that aren’t other demigods or monsters. Suddenly he’s supposed to be not only social but nice to people? Nico can’t imagine having to do exactly as Valdez tells him to. He can already see himself running from grocery store to grocery store to find the right type of kale. It’s going to be fucking exhausting.</p>
<p>“Have you ever bought plane tickets before?”</p>
<p>“No, why?”</p>
<p>Annabeth gives him a pitying smile, “You should maybe look into that. You’ll be doing it a lot.”</p>
<p>“Why does he even need to fly so much, anyway?”</p>
<p>“He has a new movie to promote. He has interviews, interviews which you and his manager will be scheduling, by the way. You’ll have to set up the transportation and occasional meetings during all that. He’ll be doing photoshoots, interviews, talk shows and a whole lot more.”</p>
<p>“I’m going to die.”</p>
<p>“You’ll be fine.”</p>
<p>“No, I won’t be fucking fine. This is ridiculous. Why the fuck am I the one doing this, huh?” He growls, “Why can’t you do it? You’re better at it anyway! Or Silena or Percy or anyone else on earth. Fucking, Chiron could do it himself. Fucking disguise himself as Valdez’s Therapist or some shit.”</p>
<p>“Nico, it’s not that bad.”</p>
<p>“Yes it fucking is. There is nothing okay about this. I’m supposed to babysit some arrogant asshole who can’t stay away from drugs, for what, a month? Two? This is bullshit. This isn’t what I’m training for.”</p>
<p>“You’re training to kill monsters, nothing else.”</p>
<p>“And I’m fine with that! I don’t need to do some bullshit PA job. I’m perfectly fine here, going on monster hunting quests and slashing away at them, not buying fucking soy-milk for some spoiled brat.”</p>
<p>“Is that really what’s bothering you?”</p>
<p>Nico glares at her, hoping the question will go away. But it doesn’t. “What’s bothering me is that Chiron is acting like this one demigod is oh, so special. He’s acting like if Valdez bites the dust the whole world will weep.”</p>
<p>“Nico, we’re talking about someone’s life.”</p>
<p>“He’s throwing his life away. Chiron didn’t make this much of a fuss when I ran away, did he? I was fucking 10, and Chiron didn’t give a shit. Now suddenly some 22-year-old is the most important thing in the world?”</p>
<p>“He could be powerful. You have to think about that.”</p>
<p>“I was powerful. I’m the son of Hades, it doesn’t get more dangerous than that. Why this brat? Why him?”</p>
<p>“Why not you? Is that what you’re asking?”</p>
<p>Nico shakes his head, trying to will away the burning feeling in his eyes, “Why is this random guy more important than all of us?”</p>
<p>Annabeth looks down at her lap, clearly only now understanding what Nico meant. Her eyebrows pinch together, anger clear on her face. Nico knows she doesn’t want to judge Chiron; he knows that Chiron is like a father to Annabeth. But that doesn’t erase the way Chiron is prioritizing one demigod over the rest of them.</p>
<p>“Why not just send a Satyr?” Nico whispers finally.</p>
<p>“I don’t know. I don’t know.” Annabeth answers and Nico can barely hear her. Her face is scrunched, and Nico feels like admitting to not knowing must hurt Annabeth as much as admitting that Valdez is worth more than he is hurts Nico.</p>
<p>She grinds her teeth and ends the call without another word. Nico know he messed up. He knows he shouldn’t have said any of that. Implying that Chiron values some random kid more than either of them wasn’t true. But in that moment, it had felt like it. In that moment, when Chiron had insisted that Valdez needs to come to camp immediately, no matter how, it had felt like he was saying that Valdez is more important than Nico. He couldn’t help but remember running away from and the fact that no one looked for him. He was ten and alone and scared and no one seemed to give two shits about him. Now here comes a superstar who has everything, money, friends, girls, anything he wants and suddenly Chiron is worried about him? Yeah, bullshit. This whole quest is bullshit. Nico wishes he had never agreed.</p>
<p>The bus tickets on his desk are glaring back at him, as if to say ‘this is all your fault. If only you were better, Chiron would value you more’. The very tickets Chiron had bought to send Nico to New York to bring the superstar. The tickets that feel like a direct fuck you. They aren’t, rationally Nico knows that. But he can’t help the way he feels.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Nico spends the entirety of dinner glaring at anyone who looks at him. He scraps his food into the fire and begs and God that will listen to confirm that Valdez isn’t a demigod and this whole thing is a hoax. Nico knows nothing will come if it. It’s not something you can just wish away. So, he sits in silence at dinner and then returns back to his cabin, hoping to get an early night in. His buy is leaving early the next morning and he’s exhausted. Nico had spent the entire last week listening to and watching any interview he could find of Valdez. He could recite Valdez’s favorite childhood memory and his go to order at McDonald’s in his sleep and if Nico were so damn proud of himself for enduring it all, he might be a little ashamed with how easy it was to remember it all. His entire week had been Valdez, Valdez, Valdez, morning to evening, 24/7. So, excuse Nico, if he’s tired of the guy.</p>
<p>Except he can’t even go to bed early, no sir, because Silena promised to get him clothes and he still hasn’t finished packing and really, he doesn’t even know what to say when he meets Valdez tomorrow. Does he just say ‘Hi, I hate your guts, but I have to escort you to this camp for half gods, get in the van.’ Probably not.</p>
<p>Silena knocks on the door to his cabin exactly twenty minutes before curfew, which is very brave of her considering she hates the harpies. She’s holding several bags filled with clothing and one big white one the Nico recognizes has a suit in it. Why she got him a suit he doesn’t know.</p>
<p>She steps past him into the dimly lit cabin and deposits the clothes on his bed.</p>
<p>“I did my best, but shopping for men’s clothes without the person you’re shopping for being there is considerably harder than I expected.” She says as she hands Nico the first item, “These are gabardine, I figured you’d be most willing to wear these. They’re pressed right now, but to maintain that you’ll have to fold them this way, and possibly if you can iron them properly. If you can steam these, that’s even better.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know what any of that means.”</p>
<p>Silena sighs, “I’ll send you article about how to care for gabardine.”</p>
<p>Nico feels sort of bad for not knowing. Logically, there’s no reason for him to but Silena is explaining it so carefully that he feels he should know what she’s saying.</p>
<p>“This is a suit. Treat is like you would treat your first-born child. I only got you one.” She zips open the big white bag and reveals a three-piece suit. “I got you a three-piece so you can wear it as a two-piece as well, if you need to. This way you only need one suit.”</p>
<p>“What do I even need a suit for? I’m an assistant not his manager.”</p>
<p>“You’re his personal assistant, which means you’ll be attending events with him. You need a suit for that.”</p>
<p>“I hate this. I hate all of this.”</p>
<p>She gives him a pitying look. She folds the suit properly and places it in the suitcase with the pants. She then runs through the rest of the clothes she bought for him and how to care for them properly. Nico doubts anyone actually knows all this, but he listens anyway and even tries to remember most of it. He’ll probably end up googling it anyway, but it’s the thought that counts. By the end of it, he has 12 outfits that he can mix and match, which Nico has to admit is pretty cool, and a very fancy looking pair of shoes along with a less fancy but still sophisticated pair. She hands him a watch that looks like it costs more than Nico is worth and he vows to treasure it with his life. Selina tells him some brand name, but Nico couldn’t remember it even if his life depended on it. Though, he doubts it ever will, so he has no qualms over not remembering.</p>
<p>Silena presses a bunch of hair ties and a can of hairspray into his hand at the end.</p>
<p>“What in Hades is this?” He asks. He can understand the hair ties, but the hairspray? That’s just outrageous.</p>
<p>“You’re a master at messy half buns and ponytails, but you can’t do messy when you’re doing business casual or even worse a black-tie event. Hairspray will make sure your hair actually stays where it’s supposed to.”</p>
<p>“My hair is fine.”</p>
<p>“Honey, it is for Camp Half Blood, but not for a movie premier or a VIP event. You’ll have to do better.”</p>
<p>“Have I mentioned how much I hate this?”</p>
<p>Silena shrugs and spends the next hour showing Nico how to properly style his hair so it looks appropriate. It takes several times but at the end Nico is able to make a half-up hairstyle that doesn’t look like it was done within two seconds and it looks like it might even hold for more than an hour. Nico is pretty proud of himself.</p>
<p>“Text me some time, let me know how it’s going and all that.” Silena says when they finish.</p>
<p>“I’ll text you if I need help again.”</p>
<p>“That too.” She smiles and when they realize that it’s long past curfew and the harpies will get her if she leaves now, Nico shadow travels her to the porch of the Aphrodite cabin. She gives him another hug that Nico is too stunned to reciprocate and then she’s gone behind the bright pink door of the cabin. Nico doesn’t stick around long enough for a harpy to find him. He shadow travels straight into his bed, not even bothering to change into actual PJs. He’ll shower in the morning.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Day in Day out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nico wakes up with a crick in his neck and loud knocking on his door. He huffs and shuffles out of his bed, toward the door to reveal two people arguing loudly. It takes Nico a second to recognize them. Chiara Benvenuti and Damien White of all people are standing in front of his cabin, arguing and yelling at each other. Nico watches the fight unfold. Then he coughs awkwardly to get their attention. Chiara rolls her eyes and shoves Damien, turning to Nico.</p><p>“We’re here to get you.”</p><p>“What? Why?”</p><p>Damien groans and runs a hand down his face, “I don’t know man, maybe because you slept in and if you don’t get your shit together, you’ll miss your bus?”</p><p>“Fuck.”</p><p>“Yeah, fuck,” Damien steps aside and into the Cabin, grabbing Nico’s suitcase while Chiara holds the door open for him, “Come on, get moving. Argus is driving you to the bus terminal.”</p><p>Nico glares at him instead of answering. He grabs his backpack and follows Chiara and Damien out to the border. Chiron and Argus are already waiting along with a few other campers. Nico doesn’t pay them any mind.</p><p>Damien hoists Nico’s suitcase into the trunk of Argus’ car and then goes to stand by one of the trees with Chiara.</p><p>“Now, you know what to do?” Chiron asks him.</p><p>Nico rolls his eyes, “Of course. I’m not stupid.”</p><p>Chiron nods and squeezes Nico’s shoulder, “Very well then. Good luck, I hope you return home soon. Hopefully not alone.”</p><p>They walk to the car and Argus opens the back door for him. Nico waves at Chiron and the two by the tree before closing the door himself. Argus gets in a second later.</p><p>The drive to the bust terminal is boring and Nico spends most of it contemplating how suspicious it would be if he suddenly disappeared again. He comes to the conclusion that Chiron would probably think he was murdered by a monster which would be at least somewhat damaging to Nico’s pride, so he sinks deeper into the car seat and ignores the quest as much as he can. The radio is playing some pop song, supposedly by one Jason Grace, but the name doesn’t ring much a of a bell with Nico. He recognizes it but that’s about it. It’s a nice enough song. Not Nico’s type of music, but it’s endurable.</p><p>Argus drops him off at the terminal with a nod and then he’s gone again. Nico watches the car move up the hill and into the forest. How he wishes he could be in that car again.</p><p>The bus arrives two minutes early and Nico fights the various middle-aged women and angry teenagers who are also taking the bus, for a seat at the window. There is no way in Hades that Nico is taking the bus for more than an hour with no window seat. Absolutely no way. He’d sooner turn into a harpy.</p><p>He gets off in Jamaica, walks for what feels like forever, but is actually just two minutes. He got on the first bus at 8 am and that was two hours ago. Nico thinks he deserves to be tired. The next bus ride doesn’t go much better than the first. The AC is turned up to ungodly amounts and Nico feels like he’ll freeze to the death any second. Next to him, an old lady keeps trying to talk to him. He counts down every stop, desperate to get off the bus. When he does get off, he knows that he’ll be getting on the next one soon any way. There seems to be no end to it.</p><p>Two hours later he’s standing in the middle of Scarsdale, a place he has never been to nor does he wish to ever return. His clothes are uncomfortable (Silena had given him an outfit to wear for his first day) and Nico really just wants to go back to bed and maybe also possibly wear clothes he actually likes. He feels like a traitor wearing these.</p><p>Chiron had assured him there would be a driver waiting for him, but he’d neglected to mention what that driver would look like, so yeah, great. Nico scans the large street for any car that could pass as that of a rich celebrity driver, however, he doesn’t find one. Just expensive looking cars and a few sports cars, which Nico seriously doubts ever get used for their intended purpose.</p><p>“Hey! Are you Nico di Angelo?” A girl yells from across the street.</p><p>Nico looks her up and down and decides that there is no way she’s his driver. She’s dressed in a leather jacket and skinny jeans. Aren’t drivers supposed to be wearing suits? Not to mention that she’s standing in front of grey Mazda Miata. That car probably costs more than all of Camp Half Blood together.</p><p>“Yeah. Who are you?”</p><p>“I’m here to pick you up.”</p><p>“You don’t look like a driver.”</p><p>“I’m not,” She smiles, pushing her shades up into her hair, “Piper McLean, nice to meet you.”</p><p>“Nico.”</p><p>She nods and gets into the driver’s seat. Nico gets in next to her. She starts the car and begins driving at a speed Nico is almost certain is above the speed limit. He doesn’t think she cares though.</p><p>“Are you excited to be working with Leo?” She asks when they stop at a red light.</p><p>Nico almost makes a rude remark but then catches himself. He’s supposed to play that part. “Yeah. I’m glad I got the job.”</p><p>“His last assistant quit within a month. Think you’ll last longer?”</p><p>“I’m used to high stress environments.” Which technically isn’t a lie. He is used to high stress just not the kind of running from grocery store to grocery store or making appointments. He’s more used to the world saving variety, but Piper doesn’t need to know that.</p><p>She shifts gears and nods, “I hope so. Promo season starts today more or less. I hope you’ve slept enough because you will not be getting any sleep for the next few months.”</p><p>“I’ll be fine.”</p><p>The rest of the drive is quiet. Nico is thankful for it. The radio is blasting again. He’s tired of sitting in cars all day, he was never good at it in the first place. Staying in a car is Tartarus on earth if you ask Nico. It requires too much sitting still and keeping calm. Even more so when Nico isn’t the one driving. Watching Piper shift gears and drive so carelessly does things to Nico’s stomach that he doesn’t like. It drops every time she turns a corner too fast or stops too abruptly. He doesn’t like it. He’d much prefer to be the one driving.</p><p>The house they stop in front of is smaller than Nico expected. It’s still huge, of course, but it isn’t what Nico thought it would be. He’d imagined a big modern mansion with a large yard and maybe a fountain or something equally as fancy. Instead he is now looking at a two-story Tudor mansion with trees out front, a a wall of windows on the right and a garage on the left. It looks strangely homely. When Nico was researching Valdez, he hadn’t allowed himself to watch the videos detailing the man’s houses and properties. Nico had felt that watching someone talk about Valdez’s home felt too intimate. He’d felt like he was intruding somehow. Looking at the house now, though, Nico had to admit it’s nice.</p><p>Piper parks the car and gets out. On the porch a dog is sleeping, half hanging off into the garden. She pets the dog as she walks buy. It doesn’t stir, much less make a move. Must be fast asleep then. She unlocks the door and holds it open for Nico to enter. The interior of the mansion is just as beautiful as the exterior. The whole color scheme seems to be green and brown. It makes it feel almost like a cabin in the mountains. All the windows are open, which makes Nico suspect that there is no AC. He doesn’t mind, he never liked them much anyway. The foyer opens into a large sitting area along with a kitchen and dining room. Across from the front door is a hallway with a set of stairs leading up.</p><p>Piper drops her keys in a bowl by the door and toes off her shoes. Nico follows her example.</p><p>“We don’t have any staff, really.” She explains as she moves to the counter to deposit her purse there, “We won’t expect you to do household chores. It’s usually a team effort. I’ll show you your room, if you’d like. Then you can get rid of your stuff and we’ll go through the rest.”</p><p>Nico nods and follows her down the hall and to a door at the very end of it. It’s the only door in the hallway. The other rooms must all be upstairs. Piper opens the door for him again. The room is nice. It’s definitely more private than his cabin at Camp. There’s a huge bed in the middle, with white and light green covers. It has more pillows on it that Nico thought possible. There’s a wardrobe, a carpet and even a desk. All three of the windows have green curtains. Nico never thought green could look so nice. Despite the curtains the room isn’t dark. Nico sets his suitcase and backpack down in the corner of the room.</p><p>“I hope you like it here. You’ll have a room in all of Leo’s other houses as well.”</p><p>“Thank you. It’s very nice.”</p><p>Piper smiles and leads him back out to the kitchen then gestures for him to sit at the counter while she stands.</p><p>“Can I get you anything? Water? Tea? Coffee?”</p><p>Nico thinks for a second, trying to figure out the correct answer. Annabeth did not prepare him for this. “A coffee would be great.” Is what he settles on.</p><p>Piper sets to making two coffees immediately. She sets it down in front of Nico when it’s done.</p><p>“Alright, so.” She starts, a little tense, “Leo is at a meeting with his manager right now. He has a lunch date with Lit after that so he should be back around, two. You’ll be responsible for managing his calendar, appointments and meetings. We do our own grocery shopping but if we do need something, we will ask you for it. Like I said you won’t clean for us, that’s just weird.”</p><p>“Is there anything else I should know?”</p><p>“He has therapy every Thursday at four. You’ll accompany him there to make sure he doesn’t skip out. And when you’re at events you will make sure he doesn’t drink. He’s not allowed any alcohol.” She explains, a serious look on her face, “If he should end up in a hospital for any reason, they can’t use narcotics on him either.”</p><p>“I’ll make sure to remember that.”</p><p>“Good. Otherwise, you should probably plan an extra fifteen to twenty minutes for everything, Leo has a habit of being late.” She finishes explaining. Piper hates this. The assistant doesn’t look bad, it’s just that he’s not what she expected. She’d expected a middle-aged man with a serious face and boring glasses. Instead there’s a guy younger than her, sitting opposite of her. It’s strange. “Oh, I almost forgot. Feel free to use to kitchen as much as you’d like while you’re here, we don’t mind. You’re free to eat any meal times with us, or you can go out if we don’t need you. This house is more or less yours for the time being.”</p><p>Nico nods, a little dumbfounded. This is not at all what he expected. Yet, here he is being told that he can eat whatever the heck he wants. It sounds like a dream come true to be honest.</p><p>Piper explains a few more things that Nico does his best to remember. Most of it though, he’ll just figure out along the way probably. He always does.</p><p> </p><p>Leo Valdez arrives at five past two exactly. The jingling of keys is the first thing Nico hears. The next thing is an exaggerated sigh and the drop of keys in a ceramic bowl. The boy that emerges from the foyer is not how Nico imagined him. He’d seen the interviews, he knows what Valdez looks like, but this is different. This is a boy, barely twenty-two, tired and exhausted of life. Valdez’s eyes are only half open, his shoulder slumped and his hands fidgety. Piper gets up from her chair greets him. She grins and gives him a quick hug, asking about his lunch date. Valdez answers immediately. From what Nico can tell, the lunch went well. A lot better than the meeting with his manager apparently.</p><p>“Who are you?” Valdez asks when he spots Nico at the kitchen counter. To be fair, Nico wouldn’t have recognized himself either. Not when he’s wearing cotton pants and leather shoes.</p><p>“That’s Nico, your new assistant. Remember?” Piper explains.</p><p>“Right.” Valdez shakes his head and straightens his shoulders, “Leo Valdez, pleasure to meet you.”</p><p>“It’s nice to meet you too, Mr. Valdez.”</p><p>“Just call me Leo, please. Mr. Valdez makes me sound so old and grumpy.”</p><p>Nico nods, and files it away in the back of his mind. Valdez- no, Leo- shuffles past the counter and toward the fridge. He pulls out a smoothie that looks healthy but if Nico were to guess he’d say it’ll probably give you cancer.</p><p>“How old are you?” Leo asks. Piper wants to hit her head against the counter. Leo should know this, but he doesn’t. He didn’t even try to remember anything Jo told him. Piper is very well aware that that’s just another tactic to get rid of the new PA.</p><p>“I just turned twenty.”</p><p>“You’re pretty young for a personal assistant.”</p><p>Nico narrows his eyes, “You’re pretty young for an A-Lister.”</p><p>“Some of us are luckier than others.” Leo smiles. Nico doubts that Leo thinks of himself as lucky. “Did anyone respond to the invites yet?”</p><p>Nico is at a loss for words. Leo is staring at him expectantly, waiting for an answer. Except, Nico doesn’t have one. He doesn't even know what invites Leo is talking about, muckiest helps whether anyone actually responded. Piper speaks up, saving him from more embarrassment, “No, not yet. I think most of them wanted to see how the Breakfast Club went first.”</p><p>Leo snorts, “And are they happy? I did my fucking best, didn’t I?”</p><p>“I don’t know.” Piper shrugs, “The responses online were mostly positive so far.”</p><p>“Will you please issue a thank you on my twitter, Nico?” Leo asks.</p><p>“Uh, yeah sure. Anything specific or…?”</p><p>“Whatever you think will work best. I don’t really have the energy to think of anything.”</p><p>“I’ll get on that then.” Nico mumbles excusing himself to the living room, staring at his phone intently. Suddenly Nico is regretting skipping out on the Breakfast Interview. If he’d listened to it, he might have more of an idea of what exactly he’s supposed to be doing right now. As it is, he’s fucking lost. He has no idea what the interview was even about. Was it about the new movie? Or was it about some other celebrity bullshit Nico should know about but doesn't? He can hear Leo and Piper talking across the room, but he elects to ignore it in favor of figuring out a tweet. Eventually he settles on texting Annabeth and having her write a tweet that he then copy-and-pastes and posts. The tweet sounds good enough, Nico likes to think. Annabeth wrote it, so of course it’s great.</p><p>Nico still doesn’t know how to feel about being logged into someone else’s Twitter account. It feels uncomfortably invading to be staring at Leo’s account like this. To know that he could delete any tweet he’d like and post anything he wants. Nico doesn’t like it.</p><p>“Hey, can you call the driver, please? We’re gonna go to Jason’s studio.” Leo calls out to him. Nico nods, doing his best to mask his internal panic. That’s the thing. He can ask Annabeth to compose a tweet for him, but he can’t ask her to do everything else, can he? He scrolls through the contact list in his phone, the one Chiron had made specifically for this situation, trying his hardest to find the contact that belongs to Leo’s driver. He has to text Annabeth again so she can tell him the driver’s name. She responds in record time, luckily, and Nico is informed that he’s supposed to be calling one Harrison Lionel. Nico vaguely recalls hearing the name along with about fifty million other names Chiron had told him to memorize. Gods, this is why Nico never goes on quests. It’s just too much effort like this. He prefers doing stuff directly for the Gods, specifically his dad. Not stuff like this. This is unnecessarily dangerous. Chiron should have just sent a Satyr or something.</p><p>Nico is relieved to find that neither Leo nor Piper seem to mind that he’s taking inordinately long to call Harrison. Dials the number and when an old man answers Nico recites the script Annabeth wrote him. He’s sure that he’ll get better at it eventually but for now he’s relying on the scripts.</p><p>Harrison grunts out some form of confirmation and Nico informs Piper and Leo that he’s on his way. They thank him and go back to their conversation without a second thought. Nico gets a text ten minutes later, telling him Harrison is waiting outside.</p><p>“Your driver is here.” He informs the two at the counter.</p><p>“Let’s go then.” Leo claps his hand and struts to the front door. Piper follows behind, purse in hand. Nico stays standing in the kitchen. “Are you coming? We gotta get going.”</p><p>Nico is a little surprised to find that he’s supposed to be coming along. Still, he composes himself. “Right. Sorry, Still getting used to the new job.” He puts on the fakest smile he can muster and follows behind the two superstars. Somehow Nico thought that Leo would be a stuck up wanna-be type, but no. Here he is telling Piper horrible jokes and laughing at anything she says. Nico feels like he’s supervising two friends hanging out not a millionaire. It’s strange.</p><p>“Do you need me to set anything else up for you?” Nico asks, remembering that he’s meant to be sucking up to Leo.</p><p>“Not really, I’m good for now. Do you have the schedule for tomorrow, though?”</p><p>Nico curses himself for not having a paper copy. “I don’t have it with me right now. I can tell you anyway if you’d like?”</p><p>“Go off man.”</p><p>“Alright, Cindy will be at the house at 7,” He begins, desperate to remember what Annabeth had planned for Tuesday. “Then at 8:30 you have the first promo interview. At 10 you’re meeting with Josephine. You have another lunch meeting after that. The evening is still free for now.” Nico feels very proud of himself for remembering all that.</p><p>“Ugh, that’s so much. You think they’ll mind if I skip out on all that?”</p><p>Piper snorts, “The fans will. And Jo will kill you, that’s for sure.”</p><p>“But it’d be worth it.” Leo turns to the row of seats where Nico is sitting, “Do you think you could call Josephine and see what the meeting is about and if it’s strictly necessary?”</p><p>“Do you need anything else?” Nico asks, biting back the annoyance that must be clear as day on his face.</p><p>Leo shakes his head, “Nope.” He pops the ‘p’ extra loudly.</p><p>The rest of the drive is uncomfortable to say the least. Nico doesn't have the guts to do the phone call in front of Leo and Piper so he just sits there, on the bench behind them awkwardly cradling his phone in his hand, unsure exactly what to do. Harrison drives them all the way into midtown Manhattan. It takes nearly an hour, and by the end of it, Nico decides that once this is over he’s burning the clothes and anything else that reminds him of this job. He spends the entire drive trying not to listen in on Piper and Leo’s personal conversation but at the same time it proves nearly impossible not to. He tries to distract himself by watching the city pass by them. The anxiety biting at the back of his mind that Leo could ask him for something, and he could miss it is too strong, so Nico never manages to get lost in his own world entirely. Every time Leo says anything that might sound even close to a request Nico’s throat goes tight and his shoulders draw. Watching the streets go by isn’t making it easier either. The last time Nico was in Manhattan was eight years ago. He’d been running down fifth avenue slashing at anything that came between him and his chance to survive. He’d watched children scream and cry and he’d watched them die. The last time he was in Manhattan he’d been fighting for his life. Now he’s here, waiting to walk into a recording studio for no reason other than entertainment. It feels wrong. So, so wrong. Every cell in his body is itching to draw his sword and fight. To slash at the monsters, he knows are hidden in the streets. But he doesn’t. Instead, he follows Piper and Leo into the building, past security and into one of the studios where a tall blond is already waiting for them.</p><p>The man grins broadly and opens his arms. Leo and Piper envelop him in a hug immediately. It must be Jason Grace. Nico had seen him in a few photos of Leo. He eventually points to where Nico is still standing by the door. Nico waves awkwardly and gives a half-smile. Could-be Jason Grace introduces himself as Definitely-Jason Grace and Nico is proud of himself for correctly identifying the man.</p><p>They talk a little longer and eventually Leo and Piper are ushered out of the small booth they were standing in and behind a glass wall. Apparently, Jason has some work to get done. Nico thinks that means they’ll be leaving again and come back later, but no. They stay. Piper gets comfortable on one of the soft looking couches while Leo sits on the floor in front of it. They listen as Jason records and re-records sections of his song over and over again. It’s sort of nice. It’s definitely a whole lot more interesting than watching Leo babble on about whatever it was he was talking about on their way here. It had been detailed and boring and Nico had almost fallen asleep. Piper had seemed totally engrossed in it though. To each their own, Nico figures in the end.</p><p>He almost manages to astral project into another realm of peace when Leo’s shrill voice startles him back to reality, “Can you get us dinner reservations at, like, eight?”</p><p>It takes Nico a second to process the request, “Where do you want me to make it?”</p><p>Leo looks from Piper to Jason who is now apparently done with recording and has joined them by the couch, “I don’t really care. Do you know anything interesting?” He asks Nico.</p><p>See, any normal person would be able to name at least one restaurant they like. Unfortunately, Nico is not normal and the only thing he can think of is McDonald’s, but he’s pretty sure that’s not an appropriate answer. Fuck, the last time he was in Manhattan sure has hell hadn’t been to have dinner somewhere. He’d been too busy fighting for his life to be looking at restaurants.</p><p>“I, uh, I’m not from New York, I don’t really know anything here. But I could still find one if you’d like?” He offers. It’s a good enough lie.</p><p>“Sure. Just not seafood. I’m never eating seafood again.”</p><p>“Noted.”</p><p>The moment the attention is off of him again Nico sends a text to Silena asking her about restaurants that seem appropriate to make reservations for a celebrity to. Ones that aren’t seafood, of course. If Percy were here, he’d probably be affronted right now. Luckily, he’s not here so Nico doesn’t have to see that kicked puppy look Percy gets every time something doesn’t go his way.</p><p>They leave soon after. Leo, Piper and Jason elect to go to Piper’s house and Leo tells Harrison to take Nico home. “I’ll call you if I need anything. Let me know when you get the reservations.” Leo says before disappearing into the ugly Prius belonging to Jason. They’re gone before Nico can answer.</p><p>Harrison picks him up and drives him home. As it turns out, spending half the day in a car is not at all what Nico expected. Yet here he is, sitting in the back of a black car with tinted windows and a grumpy driver. It’s not at all what Nico thought would happen when Chiron told him about this quest.</p><p>He unlocks the door to the house (Piper gave him a key when she realized that Leo must have forgotten to do so) and immediately lets out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. He makes a beeline for the bathroom and turns on the sink as hot as it goes, waiting for enough steam to gather. The drachma feels heavy in his hand and he tosses it into the cloud of steam with too much strength. It bounces against the mirror and falls into the puddle of water in the sink. He curses and mumbles the appropriate incantation for Iris.</p><p>The mist gathers into a thick wall of white and soon Hazel’s worried face is staring back at him. She’s wearing her armor, her helmet still sitting on her head. She must have just come from training.</p><p>“Nico?” Hazel’s voice echoes through the large bathroom.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” She tries again when Nico doesn’t answer. He doesn’t know how. How do you explain to your sister that this is all too much and you feel like you’re suffocating?</p><p>“You’re worrying me…”</p><p>“I feel like shit.”</p><p>“Why? Did something happen? Is the guy that bad?” Nico doesn’t ask why she knows about Leo. Now is not the time for that.</p><p>“No… he’s average. It’s just- There’s so much going on and it’s too much.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“I mean, he has me calling people every other minute, we spend all day in a car and making plans for the next day. It’s ridiculous. I don’t know how he can live like this.” Nico explains, “He takes it all so casually. I tell him his entire day for tomorrow is booked with people wanting to talk to him and all he does is joke about it! If I were him, I’d be going insane. Fuck, I’m going insane just making plans for him.”</p><p>“Maybe he’s just used to it? This is only your first day.”</p><p>“I can’t imagine this being something anyone would want to get used to.”</p><p>Hazel smiles pityingly, “He chose this career, didn’t he? He knew what he was getting into.”</p><p>“Yeah, but I’ve only been here for not even an entire day and already I feel sorry for him. <em>Sorry for him</em>, can you imagine? <em>Me</em>?”</p><p>“You’re sweeter than you like to admit.”</p><p>Nico scoffs, “It’s not even that. When I told him, he has a meeting with his manager tomorrow, he told me he doesn’t even know what it’s about! Like what in Tartarus is that? He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to be talking about tomorrow?”</p><p>“I guess you can be glad that you’re his assistant and not him.”</p><p>“Gods, I’d be dead if I were him.”</p><p>Hazel laughs and nods, “Look at it this way, the sooner you get him to camp the sooner you can forget about all this.”</p><p>“Maybe he’s roman.”</p><p>“Even better, then you can get rid of him permanently.” It’s the meanest thing Nico has ever heard her say and he hates to admit that she’s right. Getting rid of Leo seems like the best thing in the world right now. It’s not Leo in particular that he doesn’t like, it’s Leo’s life that makes him anxious. One day and he’s already close to a panic attack. Fucking hell, Nico thought he was over these. He thought that after Manhattan he’d be over it all. Yet here he is, nearly hyperventilating in someone else’s bathroom, two hours away from camp.</p><p>“Frank misses you, by the way.” Hazel says, trying to get Nico out of his head.</p><p>“Does he? I thought he finds me creepy.”</p><p>“He doesn’t think you’re creepy! You’re just always hovering and never speak.”</p><p>“I’m pretty sure he thinks that’s creepy.”</p><p>Hazel rolls her eyes, “When this is over, you’re coming to New Rome. We all miss you.”</p><p>“I miss you too.”</p><p>They chat for as long as Iris allows it, which turns out to be longer than expected. Iris must be feeling particularly kind today. Hazel tells Nico about the new campers that arrived a few days ago and Nico tells her about the kids he was teaching at camp. They laugh about Frank’s sprained ankle from trying to reach a book on the top shelf and Nico asks how Percy and Annabeth are doing. It’s nice. Nico never realized how much he misses simply talking to Hazel.</p><p>He bids her goodbye when he gets a text from Silena, telling him three possible restaurants for Leo to go to. Nico almost forgot about it. All three of the restaurants are nice, very nice in fact, but one of them serves seafood and the other is Mexican so Nico decides not to choose either of those. He figures Leo can probably make himself his own Mexican food, he doesn’t need a restaurant for that. The third one is a Japanese one a in downtown Manhattan. Nico decides it’s a relatively safe bet. He dials the number of the restaurant. It rings once, twice and then someone is picking up.</p><p>“Hello, how may I help you today?” A friendly female voice offers when the call is answered.</p><p>Nico blanks for a second then regains his composure, remembering what Annabeth told him, “Hello. I’d like to make a reservation on behalf of Leo Valdez, today at eight.”</p><p>“Of course. For how many people?”</p><p>“Uh, three.”</p><p>The woman hums and Nico can hear her typing away at a computer, “Would you like a specific table?”</p><p>Would he like one? Nico has no idea what type of seating Leo prefers. Fuck this is too complicated. “Do you have any that are a little more secluded?” He thinks that it’s safe to assume Leo probably doesn’t want to whole world to see him eating, right?</p><p>“Of course. Would you like the backroom or private seating?”</p><p>What the fuck is private seating? Nico grips the sink tighter, “Backroom should be enough, I think.”</p><p>“Very well. I’ll put the reservation under Valdez, then?”</p><p>“Yes, thank you.”</p><p>“Absolutely no trouble.” He can hear the fake smile through the phone, “Is there anything else we can do for you? Would you like us to send a reminder for the reservations?”</p><p>“No, that’s alright. Thank you.”</p><p>“Alright. Have a nice evening then.” The woman says and Nico ends the call. His heart is beating fast and his throat feels tight. He should not be this worked up from a single phone call. He needs to get a grip, there is no way he can do this for the next few months and have an anxiety attack every time he has to call anyone. Absolutely not. He’s better than that. If he can stay calm during battle, he can stay calm during a fucking five-minute phone call for the Gods’ sake. This is nothing compared to the battle of Manhattan, nothing. So really, Nico reasons he should not be sitting on the bathroom floor, gripping on to the phone like his life depends on it. There is no excuse for his heart to be beating out of his chest.</p><p>He takes a few deep breaths and then gets up again. Sitting on the ground is pathetic. He’s better than that. The phone in his hand chimes. He looks down to find a message from Leo asking about the reservations. Nico answers telling him about the restaurant and the seating arrangements. Leo sends back a row of thumbs up emojis. It’s strangely reassuring to see. To know that the efforts weren’t for nothing.</p><p>Nico slowly stands, moving to his bedroom. He opens his suitcase and digs around until he finds the sheet of paper that Chiron had put together with the addresses Leo frequents. One of them is bound to be Piper’s home address. At least Nico hopes so. If it isn’t he’ll just tell Harrison to figure it out. As it turns out, though, there is no need for that. The second address on the sheet is listed as ‘Piper McLean, apartment’ along with a road and borough. Nico feels a sense of relief wash over him. He makes plans to call Harrison thirty minutes before 8 to pick Leo, Piper and Jason up, and then drops on the bed. It’s impossibly soft and Nico never wants to leave. He thinks it’s a reasonable thought. There’s no need for him to leave anyway. Any calls he needs to, he can make from the comfort of his bed, right?</p><p>He falls asleep soon after sending Harrison. He doesn’t wake up when Annabeth tries to call him, and he doesn’t wake up when Leo stumbles home at three thirty in the morning.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Spin lies into fairy dust</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Leo walks into his kitchen the next morning he is greeted by the sight of one very unhappy looking PA at his kitchen counter. The guy looks grumpy and tired and honestly, Leo can relate. Nico is wearing an old black Nirvana shirt and sweatpants. Interesting. He looks nothing like the day before. To be honest, Leo had been a little disappointed. In the photos Jo had sent Nico had looked a lot more, well, interesting. He’d been wearing ripped jeans and an aviator jacket, not the pressed pants and ugly sweater he’d been sporting yesterday. It hadn’t looked natural. Not that it had looked bad, just not right. Not with the half-way mullet Nico is sporting and the dark bags under his eyes. It just doesn’t go with the polished business casual look.</p>
<p>“So, you don’t always dress like a sad librarian?” Leo asks when he steps into view.</p>
<p>Nico raises his head from where it was shoved onto the counter, “Those are my work clothes.”</p>
<p>“But you’re working right now.”</p>
<p>“No, I’m not.”</p>
<p>Leo shoves a cup into the coffee maker and leans against the counter, “Your day starts the moment I wake up, technically.”</p>
<p>“Technically, I have no idea when you choose to wake up.” Nico mumbles, “Besides it’s too early to be dressed properly.”</p>
<p>“It’s 6:40, Cindy will be here soon.”</p>
<p>“So?” Nico shrugs, taking a large gulp of his coffee, “I figured you’d be the type to get up like five minutes before she arrives. I was gonna get dressed now.”</p>
<p>“This looks better on you, though.” Leo blurts out without thinking.</p>
<p>Nico raises his eyebrow at him, “Ratty sweats and a shirt look better than business casual?”</p>
<p>“No offense, but you don’t look the type to be wearing leather shoes and sweater vests. You weren’t wearing that in the photos Jo sent.”</p>
<p>“In the photos Jo sent I wasn’t working.”</p>
<p>“So, all your clothes except your PJs look like the wardrobe of a sad librarian?”</p>
<p>“Not all of it. Just my work stuff.”</p>
<p>“What’s your normal stuff then?” Leo asks. He knows perfectly well that he’s bothering Nico, but he wants to know if Nico wears ripped jeans in his free time and if that gets Nico to quit faster then that’s an added bonus as well.</p>
<p>“What I was wearing in the photos Jo sent.”</p>
<p>Leo grins, “You should wear that more. It looks better.”</p>
<p>“I know, you said.” Nico huffs, “Don’t you have anything better to do than interrogating me?”</p>
<p>“No, not really. Cindy’ll fix me so I don’t have to do anything until she gets here.”</p>
<p>“You’re so spoiled.” Nico mumbles. He probably doesn’t mean to say it out loud, but he does. Four years ago, hearing that would have hurt and Leo might even have been offended. Now, though, it’s like hearing someone say hello. It’s second nature to smile and laugh it off. So, he does. He chuckles and shakes his head, raising his cup of coffee in a mock of clinking their cups. Nico ignores him and Leo tries not to let it hurt. People don’t ignore Leo. They haven’t ignored him since he was 16, now suddenly here is this guy who clearly doesn’t like his job and doesn’t care about Leo. Here is a guy who doesn’t give two shits about who Leo sleeps with and what he does as long as he pays Nico. It feels terrifying and just a tiny bit liberating.</p>
<p>“You should probably get dressed.” Leo offers Nico, “Cindy will rip you to shreds if you’re still wearing PJs.”</p>
<p>Nico rolls his eyes and shuffles away from the counter and down the hall. Leo hears the door bang shut and he feels strangely bad. God, why can’t he just not mess everything up? Sure, he wants Nico to quit, but he doesn’t want the guy to hate him. His chest burns and Leo hates that he can’t decide whether he hates or loves the fact that Nico doesn’t worship the ground he walks on.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The clothes Cindy puts on Leo feel just as wrong as the librarian outfits do on Nico. She puts him in a horrendous black and red striped polo shirt and dark turquoise plaid pants. It feels very aesthetic and fancy. If it were up to Leo, he’d show up wearing a t-shirt, jeans and maybe if necessary, a leather jacket or something. However, as it is, it’s not up to him, it’s up to Cindy who is tasked with creating an image for Leo. One that’s clean and nice and doesn’t scream washed up drug addict. She’s doing a great job, she really is. That is, until Leo decides the monsters, he sees are too much and he decides to drink them away. That’s when the outfit feels like he’s putting on a play.</p>
<p>She fixes his curls into a neatly assembled mess and sprays enough hairspray that Leo thinks he could be hit by a brick and get away without even a scratch. By the end of it his face is covered in make-up to pretend like he didn’t get shit faced last night. Cindy is doing a remarkable job at acting like she doesn’t notice. She makes polite conversation and subtly applies more concealer to Leo’s under eye than usual.</p>
<p>Nico emerges from his corridor just as Cindy is finishing up. He looks cleaned up and a lot more awake than earlier. His hair is partially up and he’s wearing the stupid sweater vest. There is one improvement though, and that’s the pair of black jeans he’s sporting. They look a lot better than the gabardine pants from yesterday. His hands are shoved into his pockets like he doesn’t quite know what to do with them.</p>
<p>“You ready for a busy day of being famous?” Leo asks to break the ice.</p>
<p>“You’re the famous one. I just follow you around and answer phone calls.”</p>
<p>Leo chuckles, “With a face like that, you’ll be famous in no time.” He gestures in Nico’s general direction and then turns to Cindy, “Don’t you think?”</p>
<p>She gives Nico a challenging look and then nods slowly, “If he gets rid of the eyebags he could definitely get somewhere.”</p>
<p>“He has that charm, doesn’t he?”</p>
<p>“The dead one? Sure.”</p>
<p>Leo laughs again. Nico is looking more and more uncomfortable by the second. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure the paps don’t get too many pictures of you.”</p>
<p>“Right. Isn’t it theoretically my job to keep them away from you?”</p>
<p>“I like mixing things up.”</p>
<p>Leo jumps up from his seat when Cindy gives him the go and throws a quick look in the mirror. Satisfied with his now less dead looking face, Leo throws her a thumbs up and a mumbled thank you. Cindy shakes it off, already too busy with packing up her things.</p>
<p>“The people at the interview might want to fix some things. Don’t let them. They can’t do it right.” She says. Leo rolls her eyes. He knows, she always tells him. He also knows that if he goes behind her back and lets the stylists there do something to his face, hair or clothes Cindy will find out and rant about it for at least an hour next time Leo sees her.</p>
<p>He grabs his things and the three of them leave together. Nico locks the door and then they’re sitting in a car driving into the city for an interview. Cindy had chosen to drive home by herself even though Leo had offered to drop her off. Cindy never lets him. Says it’s too much ruckus when she comes home, and she can never get her daughter to calm down again.</p>
<p>Nico is tense the entire drive to the interview. Leo can’t tell why. He’s not the one being interviewed neither is he the one being pushed to talk about things he doesn’t want to. He shakes off the feeling of annoyance. Nico has every right to be bothered, Leo doesn’t know why. For all he knows Nico’s mom could be in the hospital right now or they could be having some sort of quarrel. Not that Leo would understand. He doesn’t remember arguing with his mom much before she died.</p>
<p>Leo distracts himself with his phone the entire drive. He doesn’t dare look up to see what Nico is doing until they arrive at the interview. As fast as they’re led inside it’s already over again. Leo spends the interview in a daze, reacting to questions and answering appropriately where he needs to. The interviewer asks him about any possible new flings he’s had, and Leo denies all of them. She asks about the girl he was spotted with a few weeks ago and he denies that anything is going on. She insists and finally, Leo decides there’s no point in trying and agrees that they had been out together. It’s as much as he’s willing to give, but he knows that the public will go insane. The interviewer looks like she’s hit a goldmine. She asks about the girl and Leo shrugs and tells her it was nice and that it was just a simple lunch date. By tomorrow the tabloids will be filled with new gossip about his supposed girlfriend. His PR team will pick up on it, set the two up for a relationship, have them go through a few pap walks and then eventually announce a tragic breakup and Leo will pretend to be heartbroken over someone he doesn’t even know the favorite color of. He’ll stay in his house for a while and then publicly wish her all the best and talk about it in interviews for a week or three until his PR team finds someone else to keep up the Lothario appearance.</p>
<p>Leo can feel Nico watching from behind the cameras and crew. It’s strange. Most of his former Pas simply sat there, waited for it to be over while doing something on their phone, usually answering emails, and then shepherd Leo to the next thing he has to attend. Nico, though, is sitting there watching the whole interview intently. His eyes are on Leo the entire time and Leo isn’t sure whether he likes it or not. It’s not the type of look he’s used to. He’s used to lust and disgust, maybe even rabid adoration to be throw his way, but not curiosity. Pure, unadulterated curiosity. Leo hasn’t felt someone look at him like that since he was sixteen and first starting in this horror show of a world.</p>
<p>He chances a glance to Nico in the middle of the interview to find his eyes wide. Leo is confused for a second and then realizes that he’s been asked a question. When he processes the interviewer’s words, he feels his chest tighten and his throat go dry. The sex-tape. She’s asking about the god-forsaken tape that’s all over the internet for anyone to see. Leo doesn’t want to talk about it. Hadn’t wanted to talk about it to Jo either. But Jo is his manager, so he’d had to. It had been the single most awkward conversation of his life. Not only that but knowing that Jo had seen the tape and so had everyone else on the planet had made Leo lose all grip he’d had on himself.</p>
<p>The interviewer is looking at him expectantly and Leo wishes he could say something about it. Except, he doesn’t even have to look at his handler to know that he’s not clear to speak. They haven’t spoken about exactly what to tell the public yet. This is a promo interview. This wasn’t supposed to come up. Leo knows what he wants to say. He wants to tell them that it’s his private life and to stay the fuck out of it. But that’s not media appropriate. Jo and his PR team will figure out a perfectly worded answer that will make Leo seem charismatic and composed when really all he wants to do is break down crying.</p>
<p>“I’m not quite yet ready to speak about it.” Leo settles in the end. He gives her the smile they taught him during his many hours of media training and hopes that it’ll be enough to get her off the topic. “I think, like many things it’s very personal and very close to home and I’m not yet ready to share it with the world.”</p>
<p>The interviewer doesn’t seem satisfied, but she seems to understand that there’s nothing more she’ll get. This is it and it’s all she’s getting. They continue with normal promo questions after that. When Leo finds a second to glance at Nico, he looks mortified. His eyes are narrowed and he’s staring at the interviewer like he’d strangle her if he could. Leo doesn’t understand why. There’s no reason to be angry at her. She’s just doing her job.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After the interview Leo is crammed back into the car and pushed to be on his way to his meeting with Jo. He doesn’t know what it’s about. He’d told Nico to check but Nico must have forgotten, and Leo can’t hold it against in. Yesterday was his first day and Leo had already had him do too many things. He’s willing to turn a blind eye to this mishap. Just once. Hell, if Leo were the PA, he’d be much worse. Maybe that’s why he’s a superstar instead, so that he doesn’t have to do anything for himself other than pretend to be someone else. It’s a ridiculously easy feat. Leo feels like he’s been doing it all his life anyway, so one more time in front of a screen really doesn’t make much of a difference.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Jo sits him down at the long glass table in her office. It’s meant for at least thirteen people but right now it’s only Jo and Leo. When he’d walked in, she’d given him the sternest look he’d ever seen. Leo had decided it must be a lot more serious than just a regular checkup. He’d told Nico to do whatever he wanted until the meeting was over.</p>
<p>Jo looks at Leo like he’s made the biggest mistake of his life. The thing is, he doesn’t know which one it is. Everyone makes mistakes, she always says. For Leo though, he’s made so many mistakes he doesn’t know where one ends and the other begins. An interviewer had once asked him if he could, which mistake in his life he’d undo. Leo hadn’t known what to say. The answers had flooded his mind. The fire that killed his mom, the foster families he ran away from, the audition he went to, the drugs he’d taken and the meltdowns he’d had. There’d been too many possible answers. He’d laughed and told the interviewer that that’s a loaded question and he’d come back to it later. He never came back to the question. Now though, he’s thinking that walking into this room might be his biggest mistake.</p>
<p>“It’s the tape.” She says. No greeting, no ‘how are you’s and no ‘good job on the interview’. Leo feels as though he might collapse and turn into a pile of ash.</p>
<p>“What about the tape?”</p>
<p>“Don’t play dumb. It’s out there and people are starting to ask questions.” She frowns at him. “We were able to deflect them while you were in rehab but now, you’re out and people want to know. They’re yelling for answers we don’t have. So, talk to me. What happened?”</p>
<p>“What do you want me to tell you? I was stupid and we were drunk, and we thought it would be funny. It's nothing.”</p>
<p>“Leo. You’re on tape being fucked by a popstar. A male one, at that. This needs an explanation and a good one.”</p>
<p>He knows they want to keep him straight. Maybe not Jo in particular, but his PR tea. Straight sells better the say. It says it’ll give him more appeal, more roles. People will hire him more. So yeah, that tape might be a problem.</p>
<p>“Just tell them I was drunk and that it doesn’t mean anything.”</p>
<p>She sighs and sits down in the chair across from him, “Darling, I need to know exactly what happened. Last time you told me he was an ex-boyfriend from high school. This time you’re telling me it’s nothing?” She reaches for his hand and clasps it in hers. “What is going on, Leo?”</p>
<p>“It’s nothing.” He whispers, his voice tight. He doesn’t want to talk about it. It’s no one’s business what he does in his free time. Why does everyone feel entitled to his private life like he’s the main character on a reality show?</p>
<p>“We met a few months ago at a venue Jason was playing. We got along and he was funny, and he asked me on a date. I figured it was no big deal. That it would just look like two friends hanging out, I had Jessica at the time anyway. Everyone thought I was dating her so there would be no way for anyone to find out. He keeps asking me on dates and then one night we go to my place and fuck. It became a thing. We’d hang out and then go to my place.” Leo does his best not to break down right there. Not in front of Jo. “One night he said it would be fun to do a video. Just for us. He said he could watch it while he’s away on tour, to remind himself that I’m with him. He said it would be only for us. He promised.”</p>
<p>Jo’s hands tighten around his, “He leaked it. Is that what happened?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. One morning I’m waking up to a text from him that we’re over and then a week later the tape is there.”</p>
<p>“Why didn’t you tell me?”</p>
<p>“You would have told me that I was stupid.” He laughs. “You would have told me not to date him and for once I wanted something for myself. Just for me and him. Not PR, not publicity and not promo. Just mine.”</p>
<p>“Leo this is serious. We need to get legal action.”</p>
<p>“No. I don’t want that. I just want this all to die down. It’ll never go away if we get a lawyer.”</p>
<p>“This is harassment. Darling, he turned your tape into revenge porn.”</p>
<p>“I don’t care. Just let it die down. Why do we even have to talk about this?” He asks. “I thought it was over. I thought we’d just ignore it until it goes away.”</p>
<p>“Ellen wants you on her show. Her team called and asked you to be on next week’s episode.”</p>
<p>“She wants to talk about the tape.”<br/>Jo nods solemnly, “Her team said no tape no interview.” She swallows hard and Leo knows the next words hurt her. “You know that I hate this. You know that I care for you more than anything.”</p>
<p>“Jo…”</p>
<p>“Look, this would be great promo for the movie. People will watch it and they’ll watch the movie just to see you. It’ll be one interview, after that we’ll refuse all interviews that talk about it.”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Leo, think about it. You have to understand-“</p>
<p>“I’m not talking about it. They’ll watch the movie just so they can point out the slut. That’s it.”</p>
<p>She squares her jaw and sits up straighter, “Then look at it this way. You’ll get to control the narrative. Right now, the only thing out there is the tape. No comments and no explanations. You can go on her show and explain your side. Show the world that it wasn’t your fault.”</p>
<p>“What am I even going to say?” He asks. “’<em>Hey, so my ex-boyfriend tricked me into making a sex-tape and then published it but I’m not going to take legal action because I don’t want to be known only for my bullshit sex-tape?</em>’ Yeah, right. Like that’s gonna go well.”</p>
<p>“We’ll write you a proper answer. One that speaks for you but shows your side. Leo, please.”</p>
<p>“I’ll think about it.” She looks like she wants to argue but he barrels no before she can say another word. “Is there any other meeting I have to be at? Anything else we have to talk about?”</p>
<p>He wants nothing more than to go back home and hide in his room until it all goes away. To ignore the shame and the disgust he feels at himself.</p>
<p>“What will we tell the public about the fact that it’s a man in the video?”</p>
<p>“Nothing. Leave it. That’s what we always do.”</p>
<p>“You’ve always been ambiguous. We’ve tried to make it less so, but people are asking questions. The headlines are everywhere. Our clients want to know.”</p>
<p>Leo stays quiet for long moment. He could tell her to let it all free. To tell them he’s bi and happy with it. That the man in the video wasn’t a drunken mistake and that he’d do it all over again (minus the video part). But he doesn’t. Because he knows that that’s not what he needs right now. Right now, he needs to return to normal. Not this. He needs to get away from all of this and outing himself to the world will only make it worse. So, he swallows the lump in his throat and forces himself the utter the words.</p>
<p>“Tell them I was drunk and that it was a mistake. Say that it means nothing and that it won’t happen again.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure?”</p>
<p><em>No</em>.</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“I’m glad we could agree.” She smiles at him, but Leo knows she doesn’t mean it. She hates this as much as Leo does. He knows. Still, he can’t help but resent her a bit for doing it anyway.</p>
<p>He grabs his jacket from his chair, ready to leave, “Is there anything else?”</p>
<p>“Think about what I said. Call me tomorrow to let me know.”</p>
<p>“I will.” And with that he’s out the door and on his way to the bathroom. He can’t do this. It’s too much in too little time. It’s not what he wanted. He’d wanted to be Hugh Jackman, not Lindsay Lohan. He’d wanted the glitz and the glamour of Hollywood. Not this. His mom would hate this, he thinks. She’d tell him he’s forgotten himself. Pretending to be someone he’s not when all she’d ever asked him to do was be himself. Here he is signing away his integrity and self-worth for the chance of better promotion for a movie. A single movie. He’s throwing away his dignity for what? A few hours trending on twitter? A few conspiracy videos on YouTube? A few interviews to promote his movie? It all seems like nothing compared to the pain in his knees as he dry heaves into the toilet.</p>
<p>Somewhere in the back of his mind he knows he should be outside of the building to go and meet with Lit. But he doesn’t care. Not when his body feels like it’s burning the same way it did when he saw that tape on Instagram for the first time before it was taken down.</p>
<p>He sends a text to Lityerses to let him know he won’t be coming. Lit will be fine with it. Leo hopes so at least. Next he texts his driver to pick him up and drive him home. He can’t stay in this building any longer. He needs to get home and lie in bed. Let out the tears that keep stinging at his eyes. Fucking hell, he hasn’t cried like this in ages. He needs to get it together.</p>
<p>When Harrison texts him that he’s outside Leo gets up from the tiled floor and shuffles down to the parking lot where his car is waiting. Harrison doesn’t say anything when Leo pushes into the car with red rimmed eyes and a pale face and he doesn’t say anything when the occasional stray tear falls from Leo’s eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Leo unlocks his door and is ready to sit on his couch and cry, maybe even break something. His hands are itching to smash a cup or vase or anything else. Except there’s someone sitting at his kitchen counter eating cereal. Nico is sitting there, deeply engrossed in a book as she shoves spoon after spoon into his mouth. Somehow Leo finds it comforting. That maybe the world hasn’t ended yet. It’s still going. He bursts out laughing, louder than he meant to. He can’t bring himself to care. Nico’s head snaps up and he zeros in on Leo, on the ground clutching his head while laughing. It must look maniacal to Nico. Leo wonders whether he’ll quit yet.</p>
<p>Leo feels a hand on his shoulder and nearly jumps out of his skin. It’s cold and feels a lot like that of a corpse. It grounds Leo more than he’d like to admit.</p>
<p>“What happened at the meeting?” Nico asks. His voice is tired and gravelly, and Leo doesn’t know what to say.</p>
<p>“I didn’t want this. This isn’t what I signed up for. I fucking hate this.” Leo feels like punching something. He settles for scratching at his arms instead.</p>
<p>Nico is shoving at Leo’s hands, but it barely registers in Leo’s mind. There’s a thick fog covering it.</p>
<p>“Leo, tell me what happened?”</p>
<p>“He published that stupid fucking tape is what happened. He said he wouldn’t. He promised. He said it was just for us.”</p>
<p>“It’s alright.” Nico says and Leo knows he doesn’t believe it either.</p>
<p>“How can it be? I can’t get out of this. I keep fucking up and fucking up and I can’t do it anymore.”</p>
<p>“Leo, listen to me. Jo will figure it out. It’s going to be alright.”</p>
<p>“No, it fucking won’t be!” Leo’s hands are burning. Where Nico is touching him, it feels like a shock of cold water poured on hot lava. He thinks he might spontaneously combust. “She wants me to talk about it. To go on Ellen. Fucking Ellen!”</p>
<p>“Leo-“</p>
<p>“No! It’s Ellen. She’ll humiliate me. She always does. Last time I was there she publicly asked me about a photo of me naked. She has no mercy.”</p>
<p>“It’s just once interview.”</p>
<p>“You know it isn’t just that. People ask and they always find a way to get the answers they want.” He laughs pathetically,</p>
<p>“Besides, if I don’t talk about it, he will.”</p>
<p>Nico stays silent. Somehow, it’s better than saying anything. He awkwardly wraps his arms around Leo. They are stiff and cold, but they feel comforting. Cooling where Leo feels like he might burst in flames.</p>
<p>“Do you want me to cancel your lunch date?”</p>
<p>“I already did. I just… I don’t know what I want.”</p>
<p>“Let me know when you do.” The words sound strained and Leo knows that Nico doesn’t like comforting people. If the awkward hug wasn’t obvious enough it was his panicked expression when he saw Leo break down first.</p>
<p>“Please don’t tell anyone about this. I know you’re supposed to tell Piper and Jason, but please. Please don’t.” Leo begs. “They don’t know what happened in the tape. I told them not to watch it. I don’t want them to know.”</p>
<p>“I won’t.”</p>
<p>Leo’s voice is barely louder than a whisper, maybe not even that, “Thank you.”</p>
<p>Nico squeezes him once more, then lets go. He stands and shuffles away uneasily. He’s standing in a way Leo always sees the nurses stand just after he lashes out. Like he’s ready to pounce on Leo and hold him down if he has to. He can’t stand it. He hates the way Nico looks at him with resentment and pity. He wants to burn the look of his stupid face.</p>
<p>“Do you want cereal?” Nico asks when the quiet stretches on too long. Leo looks up from wiping his eyes.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>Nico looks like he’s close to dying of embarrassment. “You didn’t eat breakfast as far as I remember and you didn’t eat between your appointments. Maybe that could help. To eat something.”</p>
<p>“Oh.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. Forget I said anything.”<br/>“No!” Leo scrambles to get up. “No. Cereal sounds nice. I haven’t had cereal in months.”</p>
<p>Nico straightens and gives him a strange look, “What do you mean you haven’t had cereal in months? Your kitchen is stocked with it.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, but I’m not allowed to eat it. I bought it and then my trainer said I couldn’t eat it, so I just left it there. Jason sometimes eats it.”</p>
<p>“That’s stupid. I’m making you cereal right now.”</p>
<p>Leo smiles just a tiny but and sits at the counter. Nico sets to making a massive bowl of the most sugary cereal Leo has in his cupboards.</p>
<p>“What were you doing while I was gone?” Leo asks in an attempt to start a conversation.</p>
<p>Nico shrugs, “I was reading. You weren’t gone all that long.”</p>
<p>“What were you reading?” Personally, Leo’s never been a fan of reading. It just doesn’t go the way it’s supposed to. Every time he looks at the words the letters scramble and switch position in a way that gives Leo headache. Sometimes they just slide right off the page or cluster together in one black blob of ink. Reading scrips is the bane of Leo’s existence. He could do a lot better without them.</p>
<p>“A book a friend gave me. It’s about architecture, I think.”</p>
<p>“You think?”</p>
<p>“My friend’s obsessed with it and said I should read it.”</p>
<p>Leo nods and reaches for the book on the counter. He turns the book over to find only a picture of Greek looking buildings. When there’s no description on the back he flips it open to a random page.</p>
<p>“You speak Greek?”</p>
<p>“Uh, yeah. It’s a family thing.”</p>
<p>“That’s so cool. I wish I could speak more languages.” Leo muses. He doesn’t bother trying to read anything. It won’t work anyway. He closes the book and slides it back to where it was earlier. In the meantime, Nico sets down the bowl of cereal along with a spoon and a glass of milk.</p>
<p>“Really? My trainer will murder me.”</p>
<p>Nico shrugs with one shoulder, “Pay me before he does. Now eat. You look like you’re going to die.”</p>
<p>“Oi, if either of us looks like death it’s you.”</p>
<p>“Whatever you say, Hollywood.” Nico leans on the counter. “Had a fun chat with this British dude earlier. He called and greeted me with lovely ‘Martin, mate!’. When I explained that I am, in fact neither Martin nor his mate he hung up.”</p>
<p>Leo almost snorts the milk he’d been drinking up his nose. “What did he sound like?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. Like way too fucking cheery for 10 in the morning.”</p>
<p>“That was Nick. He has my personal number but if he was calling you, he wants me to come on the show.”</p>
<p>“Right. What?”</p>
<p>“Nick Grimshaw. He hosts the Radio 1 Breakfast show. He must have thought you were my old assistant.”</p>
<p>“He should get his assistants checked.” Nico mumbles. “Why was he calling me in the first place? Don’t interviews usually go through Jo?”</p>
<p>Leo nods. “Usually. But it’s Nick. Piper and I have been going on his show since we were 16. He’s practically family at this point. If he wants us on the show, he just calls either our assistants or us. He doesn’t even have his team do it.”</p>
<p>“He’s insane. No one can be that happy this early in the morning.”</p>
<p>“to be fair, for him it was like 3pm.”</p>
<p>“Still. I nearly had a heart attack when he greeted me.</p>
<p>Leo laughs, “I’ll tell him to just call me in the future.”</p>
<p>Nico snorts, “So are you going on his show then?”</p>
<p>“Probably, yeah.”</p>
<p>“I thought you didn’t want to talk about the tape. Won’t he ask?”</p>
<p>“No.” Leo shakes his head. “He knows that I don’t want to talk about it. He won’t ask. He’ll come up with a game and then ask some questions that will have me losing my shit and eventually laughing more than speaking. It’ll be fun.”</p>
<p>“Do you want me to call him back and schedule the show?”</p>
<p>“Nah. I’ll call him later. Did you already get my flight done for the English part of the promo?”</p>
<p>“Uh, no I don’t think so. When do you want to leave?”</p>
<p>“Like Monday? I’ll visit some friends-“ He slumps when he remembers his earlier meeting. “No. Do it end of next week. I have the Ellen show before that.”</p>
<p>“So, are you going on that one?”</p>
<p>“I have to, don’t I?”</p>
<p>“Not really, no. You could just say no.”</p>
<p>Leo laughs bitterly, “Right. Jo will murder me and book me a difference interview to talk about the tape.”</p>
<p>“You really need to get some autonomy.” Nico deadpans.</p>
<p>“I gave that up when I chose this career, my man. It’s too late now. I’ll have my peace the day I die.”</p>
<p>Nico sighs and grabs the now empty bowl of cereal and puts it in the dishwasher. He waits for Leo to finish the glass of milk before putting it in as well.</p>
<p>“I’ll go call Josephine and let her know you’re doing the Ellen show.” He says. “You should probably call Grimshaw back before he loses his mind.”</p>
<p>With that he’s gone out of the kitchen and then the house. Leo can see him standing out on the terrace, phone in one hand the other fiddling with his shirt. He looks unsure. Leo’s not stupid. He can tell that something about Nico is off. His CV had said he’d worked for other important clients before, although it had all been names that Leo hadn’t recognized, but the way Nico acts makes it seem like this is the first time he’s working as a PA. Every time Leo asks him to do something, he looks like he wants to refuse and tell Leo to fuck off. It’s strange.</p>
<p>He shakes off the feeling and looks for his phone instead. He finds it in his jacket, which is still lying by the door, and dials Nick’s number.</p>
<p>It rings three times and then finally someone’s picking up.</p>
<p>“Nick? You there?”</p>
<p>“Always. I tried calling earlier, but some other bloke answered the phone.” Nick’s voice is a comforting echo in the shallow emptiness of Leo’s head.</p>
<p>“That’s my new assistant. You should know that, we sent you the new number and everything.”</p>
<p>Leo can hear laughter on the other end of the line, “I just assumed that Martin changed his number again. You know how he is.”</p>
<p>“You’re an idiot.”</p>
<p>Nick laughs again and suddenly Leo is glad that he called hung up on Nico earlier. Talking to Nick makes it all feel just a little more okay. When he was sixteen, Piper and him had been invited to go on the Radio 1 Breakfast show. Leo had been terrified. Piper had been excited. She’d always been better at articulating her words than Leo had. Interviews came naturally to her. Not to mention that she’s just so damn pretty and no one can resist her charm. Next to her, Leo felt like an ape with the stupid lisp he’d had and the acne he’d been sporting.</p>
<p>So yeah, Leo had been downright terrified. It had been maybe the second or third interview he’d ever done and the thought that it would be live on air had had Leo staying up all night panicking. When they’d actually arrived though, Nick had been not at all what Leo expected. Sure, before the interview Leo’d been smart enough to listen to some of Nick Grimshaw’s other interviews, but it wasn’t the same. The people in those interviews were properly media trained and they weren’t sixteen years old either.</p>
<p>But Nick had been nice. He’d asked them what they do in their free time and what the last movie was that they saw at the cinema. He’d asked them what it’s like to balance school and acting, and he’d asked whether they’d gotten any freebies at restaurants yet. It had been fun. They’d played stupid games and sung along to the songs he played in between segments. At the end of the interview Leo hadn’t wanted to leave and neither had Piper. They giggled and laughed the entire time. Nick had wished them the best of luck and told them to be as boring as possible until they’d come back the next time. Leo and Piper had promised to do the exact opposite and Nick had laughed with them. To this day, it’s probably Leo’s favorite interview.</p>
<p>Sometimes when he feels like it’s all going to shit, he finds the interview on YouTube and watches it. He hates the way he looks in it and he can’t help but cringe at the lisp he used to have but it’s better than nothing. The comments are positive and most of them are praising Leo and Piper and going on about how adorable they were. It’s a small piece of comfort in Leo’s life. Knowing that the interviews with Nick Grimshaw will always be alright. That’s the one show he feels completely safe one. Maybe James Cordon as well, but ever since he’d insisted on playing tattoo roulette, Leo’s not so sure anymore. He still has that stupid ‘Late Late’ tattoo on his leg.</p>
<p>“So, you coming then?” Nick asks after they chat for a while.</p>
<p>“Can’t say no to you, can I?”</p>
<p>“You most certainly cannot. It’ll be great to have you on again. We’ve missed you here. The interns won’t stop talking about you.”</p>
<p>“I'm supersized McShizzle after all.” Leo gets out in between laughs, “How could they resist me?”</p>
<p>“Truly, an impossible feat.”</p>
<p>Leo chuckles, “But yeah, I’ll come. When do you want me there?”</p>
<p>He can hear Nick shuffling on the other end of the line, “Either next week or the one after that. Whichever day you want. We’re mostly free for now.”</p>
<p>“Then the one after next. I have to be on Ellen next week.”</p>
<p>Nick winces. He knows all about Leo’s history with Ellen. It’s not a good one. “Good luck with that, mate. We’ll recover when you come on Radio 1.”</p>
<p>“I’ll see you then.” Leo answers.</p>
<p>“Don’t do anything outrageous until then.”</p>
<p>Leo rolls his eyes and hangs up. If he just survives next week and everything it has in store for him it’ll be fine. One more week and he can do something he actually enjoys.</p>
<p>Behind him Nico steps back into the house, a grim look on his face. Leo understands. He’s officially booked for Ellen. Jo and his PR team are probably working on what he’ll say on the show right now. There’s no backing out now.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Let's just pretend that Nick Grimshaw is still hosting the Radio 1 Breakfast show alright?<br/>Also I won't be tagging him or any other real people I put in the fit (unless they end up playing a major role but I don't think it'll happen) because they're not the main focus and I don't feel like this showing up in their tags.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. A Wonderful Caricature Of Intimacy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW for mentions of depression, implied suicidal thoughts, mentions and descriptions of a sex tape (nothing explicit) and general shininess from people around Leo.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nico is looking forward to the weekend. It’s Friday and the week has been one of the worst weeks Nico has ever had to live through. Which says a lot. He’s had to manage approximately a million meetings and outings for Leo. He’s starting to get sick of it. Jo is on his ass all day about schedules and Leo looks like he’ll break every time he goes in for an interview. There have been more and more recently.</p><p>On Wednesday they’d flown down to LA for the Ellen show on Thursday and Friday. Nico nearly had a heart attack when he stepped on the private jet. He’d spent the entire flight gripping the arm rests until he was sure there was no blood in his fingers left. When the plane went through turbulences Nico was two seconds away from summoning a skeleton army. Leo had slept through the entire flight. Nico would never understand his ability to sleep on a plane. It seems dangerous and irresponsible. What if Zeus decides that their lives are meaningless and blasts them out of the sky? Huh? You can’t defend yourself if you’re sleeping.</p><p>Yesterday Leo was out for the Ellen show, going to Starbucks to prank the cashiers or something. It’s for a segment on the show, Leo had said. <em>Starbucks Prank</em> it’s called, or something. Nico had been too busy with not having a breakdown to care what the stupid game was called. It’ll be played on Monday along with the rest of Leo’s chat with Ellen.</p><p>“Think she’ll mind if I skip out on it now?” Leo asks. He’s sitting on the sofa of his dressing room. Nico’s only really there to make sure Leo’s on time. Otherwise he has a seat at in at the sidelines of the stage reserved for him to watch.</p><p>“Definitely. She’s already on, talking about something or the other. You should hurry it up, if you don’t want to be late.”</p><p>“That’s what I have you for.” Leo tries to joke. Nico thinks it’s probably a desperate attempt to take control over the situation.</p><p>Nico sighs and gets up from his own chair and opens the door. “Get on with it then, Hollywood. Someone’s waiting for you.”</p><p>Theoretically Nico should be leading Leo to the stage, but he’s never even been in a building like this so in the end it’s Leo leading while Nico follows next to him, watching closely. The hallways are long and grey. They all look the same. It reminds Nico a lot of Daedalus Labyrinth. It’d been very similar. Long corridors with nothing but empty noise. It makes him uncomfortable to know that humans came up with it. Not monsters or Gods, no simple mortals came up with buildings like this. If Nico were to spend any more time in these corridors, he’s sure he’d go insane.</p><p>Leo stops at the side of the stage, directly where Nico will be allowed to stay. Leo had offered Nico some time off to do whatever he wanted while he’s doing the show. Nico had refused on the basis of making sure Leo didn’t end up being late. In reality, he didn’t want to wait until Monday to see the interview. He needed to know what was going on. It’s a morbid curiosity that Nico doesn’t want to examine. He’s never been interested in celebrity gossip before but somehow, now that it concerns Leo, he needs to know what’s going on. He tells himself that it’s because it’s a sex tape. That he wants to know exactly what happened because he saw Leo break down over it a few days ago. That’s all it is. He's sure of it.</p><p>The crowd cheers as Leo sits down in the chair cross from Ellen. Nico realizes he completely missed the entrance and introduction. Ellen’s looking at Leo, a predatory look on her face. He doesn’t know much about her, never cared for talk shows. He’s seen the occasional clip playing at McDonald’s when he was waiting for his happy meal, but never an entire show. Silena had told him to watch some Ellen interviews, apparently there had been some drama with her and Leo a few years ago. Nico hadn’t been able to bring himself to watch more than a few minutes. She made him deeply uncomfortable, with her inappropriate questions and constant prodding and need to expose and embarrass her guests to no end. Now he’ll have to sit through it. He’ll manage. If he can slay a monster and fight in the battle of Manhattan, he can survive a talk show with a half-way sociopath as a host.</p><p>Ellen starts talking about one thing or the other and Leo responds appropriately. It’s strange to see him like that. It’s still Leo, he’s laughing at almost everything she says and he’s still cracking stupid jokes, but it feels stilted somehow. Though, if Nico hadn’t met Leo in person then it wouldn’t seem out of the ordinary. He’s a remarkable actor, Nico has to give him that.</p><p>“So, how have you been? It’s been a while since you’ve been on our show. You recently left rehab as well.” Ellen starts conversationally.</p><p>Nico can’t shake the feeling that her voice sounds so terribly unaffected by everything she says. Not to mention that he really doesn’t like the way she so casually brings up Leo’s stint in rehab. If Nico has learned anything from talking to ghosts all day, it’s that most people don’t like talking about rehab or their drug issues in front of a live audience. Ellen doesn’t seem to care though, happily plunging into it the same way she’d ask him what he had for lunch. It’s a twisted casualness that Nico never thought he’d see. All he’s ever known were secrets, affairs, things no one talks about, but everyone knows. Wars and conflicts and personal problems that everyone has, but nobody opens up. Here in Hollywood everything is on display. There’s no room for personal space, no time on schedule for alone time and no tolerance for feelings. There’s no place to exist in peace.</p><p>Leo shuffles his feet around until they’re crossed at the ankles. He almost looks casual, but the fear in his eyes betrays the notion. If Nico hadn’t lived half a life seeing that same fear directed at him, he wouldn’t have understood the glint in Leo’s eyes as fear.</p><p>“Pretty good, yeah. It’s nice to sleep in my own bed again, all that. It’s been a busy few weeks.”</p><p>“Good, good.” She sits up straighter and pats the armrest of her chair. Nico knows that he won’t like what she says next before she even opens her mouth again. “Speaking of sleeping in your own bed again, let’s talk about the video of you that recently came out.”</p><p>“Okay, yeah.” Leo nods. He swallows once and then shuffles his feet again. His hands are tapping against the armrest with a speed that shouldn’t be possible.</p><p>“So, you were obviously not alone at the time.” On the screen behind her the thumbnail of a video shows up. Nico hadn’t even considered that the screen might be used. He hadn’t thought Ellen would actually show the video. Yet, there it is. Blurred, but it’s there. It’s large and really Nico would rather not see it. Neither would Leo apparently. His head is hanging low and he has a forced smile on his face.</p><p>“Now, I’m assuming the video wasn’t meant for the public. Talk me through what happened. How did you end up on your knees like that?”</p><p>Nico wants to roll his eyes. Ellen damn well knows how one ends up on their knees like that. She’s a fucking lesbian, she should know. He wants to strangle her.</p><p>Leo laughs, though it sounds wheezy, “Yeah, uh, yeah. We were really drunk and somehow, we just sort of did that. We thought it’d be funny at the time.”</p><p>“You thought recording yourselves having sex would be funny?”</p><p>“No. No, we thought it wouldn’t be a big deal, you know? It was just for us, nothing big. A short little video for the hell of it.”</p><p>“Well, it’s certainly not short. It’s almost thirty minutes long. You guys get up to all sorts of things in there.” Ellen laughs and leans back a little in her chair. “And, there is another man in the video. Which is very interesting, if you ask me. Is that your boyfriend?”</p><p>“No. He’s not. We weren’t together. He’s just a friend.”</p><p>“So, you just take your friend to your house like that and make a sex video?”</p><p>“Yeah. Just a friend.”</p><p>“Do you do that with all your friends?”</p><p>“No, no. We were just drunk.” Leo looks up at the screen and then immediately away again. Nico thinks Leo might pass out.</p><p>“Are you still in contact with him?” She asks. “What’s he think of this thing?”</p><p>“Uh, I don’t know what he thinks. We don’t talk anymore. We stopped talking a week before the video came out. We’d met at a venue. We only talked while I was in London.”</p><p>“So, you just make videos like that with any guy you randomly meet at venues?”</p><p>“I don’t usually sleep with guys.” Leo laughs at the end. “I don’t- I don’t really swing that way, you know?”</p><p>“Well it sure seemed like you swing that way in the video. You were going at it quite a lot there.”</p><p>“I know. Yeah. We were just drunk and horny.”</p><p>“You don’t look very drunk in the video. You look very much sober in it. Let’s take a look, shall we?” She turns to the screen where the video is now playing.</p><p>The video starts at the beginning luckily. Most of it is just Leo and unidentifiable man making out, moaning and touching. It’s nothing past what you’d see in a racy action movie, probably the only reason Ellen is allowed to play it. He’s not on his knees yet like Ellen had described but Nico knows that if she plays the video long enough, he will be. It’s without sound and half of it is blurred but everyone can see what it is clear as day. There is Leo looking like it’s his birthday. He’s giggling and laughing. Ellen’s not wrong. He doesn’t look drunk. He looks sober, excited and happy to be doing what he is. Nico forces himself to look away immediately. He doesn’t think he’d be able to look at Leo again otherwise. The imprint of the face Leo makes when he moans with a flushed face and messy hair is burned into his mind already. He doesn’t need more fuel to that.</p><p>Ellen only plays a few seconds of it but it’s enough to make Nico want to strangle her. He can practically feel the shame radiating form Leo. He has the strange urge to go over there, tell her to fuck off and then hold Leo. Tell him that it’s alright.</p><p>“Yup. That’s the video. Always been a good actor, what can I say?” Leo tries to salvage what’s left of his pride; it seems.</p><p>“You don’t look like you’re acting there. You look like you’re deeply enjoying it.”</p><p>“You can enjoy acting.”</p><p>“So, you didn’t like it then? You were just doing it for the other guy?”</p><p>“No! Stop putting words in my mouth!” Leo laughs. His face is beet red and he’s nervously fiddling with the bottom of his shirt.</p><p>“The words aren’t the only thing that was in your mouth, though.”</p><p>“Why are you exposing me like this? Come on.”</p><p>“I’m not exposing you! I’m just asking.”</p><p>He goes even redder and squeaks out a barely audible, “Well I don’t like that question!”</p><p>It takes a few more attempts on his part to get her to stop but eventually the commercial break starts, and Leo is free to get a little breathing room before they continue. He gets up from his chair, excusing himself to go to the bathroom so fast, Nico nearly misses him.</p><p>“Hey, man. Wait.” Nico grabs his arm to stop him. “You did good. She was a bitch anyway.”</p><p>“Thanks.” With that Leo’s gone.</p><p>Nico doesn’t know whether he actually goes to the bathroom or outside to get a smoke in. He doesn’t ask. He just hopes that Leo’s back by the time the commercial break is over. When he does come back it’s barely on time and Ellen is already sitting there waiting expectantly. She welcomes him back and has him play a game of ‘burning questions’ with her. Nico shakes his head. This whole thing is stupid. Leo should have never agreed to this. He doesn’t know why Leo did it in the first place, but he must have had a good reason to. Nico would have sooner died than talked about his sex life on national television with an audience of 4.2 million.</p><p>The game reveals a whole lot more about Leo than Nico would have ever liked to know. Half the questions are about sexual topics. Ellen just can’t seem to let lose. Leo does his best to answer, though he does so mostly with bad jokes and a lot of laughter. It sounds real enough. Maybe Leo even finds a few of the questions genuinely funny. Nico doesn’t know. What he does know, is that he can’t wait for the weekend. No matter what Leo is up to, it can’t be worse than a whole week of running errands and answering phone calls.</p><p>Leo steps off the stage and immediately his face falls. He seems to see no point in keeping up the façade around Nico. To Leo, Nico is nothing more than a pawn to run errands for him. No need to pretend to be happy around a PA.</p><p>“You have the weekend off.” Leo says as he walks back to his dressing room. He’s walking so fast Nico can barely keep up with him.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I don’t need you on the weekend. You can go home if you want. I’ll pay for flight tickets or whatever you need.”</p><p>“Are you sure? My contract says I work seven days a week.”</p><p>Leo scoffs, “Fuck your contract. Go home, spend time with your family or whatever it is you do.”</p><p>“What’s with you? I didn’t do anything to you.”</p><p>“Nothing’s with me. I’m just saying that I don’t need you on the weekend.” Leo drops on the sofa and looks at Nico, a tired expression on his face. “Don’t you want to spend time at home? If you need to you can even get a longer weekend. I can give you Monday and Tuesday off before we fly on Wednesday.”</p><p>Nico crosses his arms over his chest and studies the man before him. He looks utterly defeated. Not even the metric ton of make-up they put on him can fix it. When Nico had seen the photos of Leo for the first time his eyes had stuck out. They were a pretty brown that looked almost like gold in some of the photos. Now though, they look empty. A flat dark brown that swallows the pupil completely. There’s no life left in them. Nothing of merit, no smile, no laughter. No Leo.</p><p>“You just want to be alone.” Nico states. “You don’t feel good right now and you want the weekend to yourself to drink yourself stupid.”</p><p>“I don’t drink anymore.”</p><p>“Bullshit. You have a fully stocked liquor cabinet and the placement of the bottles changes every day. You stay out until three in the fucking morning and stumble your way to your room.”</p><p>“The fuck do you care? It’s none of your business.”</p><p>Nico rolls his eyes. Leo is so fucking stupid. “It very much is my business. I’m responsible for you, remember? You stay out all the time and nearly miss your meetings.”</p><p>“<em>Nearly</em>. It doesn’t matter what I do as long as I show up.”</p><p>“I’m not letting you spend an entire weekend alone so you can get shitfaced and go missing just to turn up in some back alley with a new tattoo two seconds away from cardiac arrest. If you think I’m leaving you alone you’re mistaken. I’m not stupid enough to think you’ll just spend the next two days picking flowers and sipping tea.”</p><p>“You don’t know shit about me.”</p><p>“I don’t need to know anything about you to see what’s wrong.” Nico spits. “I’m not leaving you. Right now, you feel like crap and that’s fair but tomorrow you’ll not want to be alone and you won’t want to be alone when you have a panic attack in your bathtub. We’re leaving in ten minutes, get your shit. I’ll wait by the car. If you don’t show, I’m reporting you missing to the police.”</p><p>Leo doesn’t say anything, so Nico just leaves. If Leo wants to be difficult so be it. He grabs his jacket and nearly runs out of the studio and to the parking lot where Harrison is waiting. He doesn’t spare Nico a glance and simply unlocks the door so Nico can open it. He throws his jacket into the car and then steps out on the curb to grab a smoke. It’s fucking ridiculous. If Leo wants to be an idiot that’s fine but he’s not getting himself killed on Nico’s watch. He promised to get him to camp, and to camp he will get him. There is no way in Hades he’s telling Chiron that Leo decided the bottom of a bottle and a meaningless high were worth more than two decades worth of life.</p><p>The worst part is, Leo reminds Nico of himself. There was a time, not too long ago, where Nico would have laughed with Leo and joined him in getting shitfaced. He would have drunk until he couldn’t feel his hands anymore, until all the hurt and paranoia would be too blurred to feel anymore. Hell, he would have scratched and slashed at his wrists and legs and anything he could reach in hopes of tearing out that terrible feeling of nothingness. Of filling that hole within him in any way possible, be it vodka, drugs or blood. Anything to ride that high and leave himself behind.</p><p>But that’s over now. Nico doesn’t feel like drowning himself out anymore. He feels empty, but not enough to fill it with blood anymore. He wants to fill it with life, with happiness, <em>with feeling</em>. To get rid of it forever, not to mute it for a few hours. That’s where the difference between Leo and Nico is. Nico doesn’t want to die anymore; he’s learned to tolerate himself. Not love and not acceptance, but tolerance. Leo on the other hand, isn’t there yet. He’s ready to jump at any moment if only to feel something for a few seconds before it’s the squelching sound of the asphalt</p><p>Nico thinks he can fix Leo. Not out of compassion or sympathy but out of empathy. He feels no pity or sorrow or even care toward Leo, but he knows what Leo feels and he knows that no one, no matter what they’ve done or haven’t done, deserves that feeling of nothing.</p><p>The only question is, how to fix someone you don’t know. Nico knows nothing about Leo past what he’s said in interviews, most of which Nico doesn’t even remember anymore, and what Leo had mentioned in passing. There’s nothing. A void of information. Nico knows three things only about Leo, 1. He’s a stubborn little shit who wouldn’t accept help even if he was dying (which he might as well be), 2. He’s a remarkable actor, be it in movies or in real life, and 3. Leo is an enigma.</p><p>He seems like the type of person to be on the AV club in high-school and be too shy to talk to girls, the typical nerd. Yet here he is being named man of the year by Cosmopolitan and earning himself the title of man-whore and Lothario. He seems like he’d stay inside all week and spend days playing video games, but in reality, he goes out and leaves himself behind at the entrance of a club. Nico doesn’t know what to make of him and it’s frustrating.</p><p>He throws his cigarette to the ground and stubs it out with his foot. When he looks up Leo still isn’t there. If he doesn’t show in two minutes Nico will call the cops, no questions asked.</p><p>He looks around more trying to find anywhere where Leo might be, other than his dressing room. Instead, he finds a theater poster. It’s for Mamma Mia. The name is vaguely familiar. Then it hits Nico where he knows it from. Mamma Mia is based on Buena sera Mrs. Campbell, a movie Nico had seen on one of the screens in the Lotus Casino. It’d been fun and Nico had talked about the movie for ages. He’d related, not knowing who his father was and desperately trying to find out but to no avail.</p><p>Maybe watching a movie with Leo will get him to calm down. Introduce a sense of normalcy into his life that he’s been missing for ages. They could make snacks, watch a few movies and pretend like they’re just two normal people and not a demigod and a world-renowned superstar.</p><p>Just as Nico is about to dial Chiron’s number to tell him Leo went missing, Leo emerges from the building. His face is scrunched, with his hand held up to shield his eyes from the sun. He’s frowning so deep it almost rivals Nico’s. What a pair they must make.</p><p>“Finally decided to join us, then?” Nico jokes. Leo doesn’t answer.</p><p>He slips into the car and buckles up. Nico sighs and follows behind. He tells Harrison to drop them off at the nearest grocery store. Leo shoots him a strange look.</p><p>“We’re buying snacks. You need to relax; we’ll watch a few movies and eat some unhealthy food. It’s better than watching you get shitfaced.”</p><p>Leo just pulls a blank face and opts to look out of the window again. This will be the most exhausting day in Nico’s life.</p><p>Harrison stops at a grocery store and Leo follows Nico inside with neither complaints nor any jokes. It’s unsettling. Nico doesn’t let it bother him. If Leo wants to be difficult, he can try that, but Nico won’t indulge it.</p><p>He strides through the aisles, looking out for anything that looks unhealthy and doesn’t have alcohol in it. Leo eyes a few things but doesn’t reach out to grab anything. When he does it for the third time with a pack of chicken wings Nico sighs and grabs two from the freezer. Leo simply walks away. It’s better than being glared at.</p><p>Nico grabs a few more things, including a blueberry muffin because he vaguely recalls Leo mentioning that he likes them in an interview once.</p><p>He finds Leo near the cash register taking photos with fans. It’s a strange thing to see. Nico’s only ever seen people take photos with friends, like Percy and Annabeth or Nico with Hazel after the cabin was built, but never like this. Never simply to prove that you met someone. Nico feels like someone poured a bucket of ice water on him. These girls standing around Leo are giggling and squealing telling him how amazing he is and asking for pictures as though they’re talking to their friend. They’re asking him questions about his latest girlfriend and when he laughs and whispers something the two go red and squeal even louder. Leo doesn’t look happy though. Not how Nico would have imagined him to be. Leo always says in his interviews that the fans are the best part about being famous, about how he wouldn’t give them up for the world and how they’re the most important thing to him. And Nico hadn’t had the impression that it was a lie. But here he is, looking like he’d rather disappear than speak to people who probably dreamed about meeting him. It’s an unsettling power imbalance and Nico doesn’t like it one bit.</p><p>“C’mon Superstar, we gotta get going. I have frozen stuff here.” Nico calls out to Leo. He whips his head around and the corners of his mouth twitch just the slightest bit upward. He quickly excuses himself from the fans and runs over to Nico. His face is blank by the time he arrives. It’s progress.</p><p>“Does that always happen when you’re out?”</p><p>Leo seems to realize that ignoring Nico won’t stop him, so he answers, “No, if no one knows where I am and if I’m not being too obnoxious, I’m usually good in public. Sometimes people just find me though. It’s fine.”</p><p>“Ever try a disguise?”</p><p>His mouth twitches again, “It’s too embarrassing to be caught wearing one to risk it. I’ll just take my chances.”</p><p>“Personally, I would just tell them to fuck off.”</p><p>“I can’t do that. They’re nice and I love them, but sometimes it’s just a bit much.”</p><p>“I can’t imagine having to deal with that.”</p><p>Leo gives him a tiny smile and it somehow makes this whole thing worth it. Nico pays for the food and they leave the store each carrying one massive shopping bag, though Nico takes the larger one. Leo is about to dial Harrison when Nico stops him. They’re taking public transit, Nico informs him. He’ll do anything to give Leo a sense of living a normal life for just a day, and if that means spending at least an hour driving to Leo’s LA apartment carrying groceries and talking about the weather or the strange people in the underground, then so be it.</p><p>No one recognizes them on their way. Nico is thankful for it. He wouldn’t be able to deal with more fans. This is meant to be a normal, average person day, and fans would ruin that. He’s sure they’re great people, but Nico wants Leo to believe he can be a regular person and the fans just don’t fit into that.</p>
<hr/><p>Leo’s LA apartment isn’t like anything Nico’s ever been in. To be fair, Nico hasn’t been in a lot of apartments and the ones he has been in were always old and broken down. It’s not massive like Nico expected but it’s certainly bigger than his cabin at camp. The front door opens into a large living area with sofas and a massive TV. On the left is a kitchen and a staircase leads to a second floor where the bedroom probably is. The windows overlook LA and there’s a terrace with a pool. Leo seems to have a thing for pools, no wonder with how hot he constantly runs.</p><p>Nico dumps the food on the kitchen counter and begins putting things away into the fridge and cupboards. A single look into any of them reveals them to be almost entirely empty. There are a few packs of ramen and one box of Tea and nothing else. It’s depressing to say the least. Nico tries to convince himself that it’s because Leo isn’t in LA a lot, not because Leo doesn’t care for himself and sees no point in eating. It’s easier than to accept the reality.</p><p>“Go and change into some more comfortable clothes and then make yourself comfortable on the couch. I’ll put on a movie in the meantime.” He tells Leo.</p><p>He doesn’t get an answer but when he turns Leo’s gone, the only thing left in his wake are his keys and jacket by the door.</p><p>He comes down a few minutes later wearing black sweatpants and a red hoodie with the hood pulled up completely. Nico is already waiting on the sofa with snacks laid out on the coffee table. Mamma Mia is already on the screen. Leo sits down on the other end of the sofa immediately covering himself with a soft white blanket. Nico kicks a pack of crisps and a soda can closer to him.</p><p>“I’m not supposed to eat that.”</p><p>“One soda won’t break your six pack, dude.”</p><p>“My trainer said not to.”</p><p>“Is your trainer here? No? So, enjoy yourself for once.” Nico tells him, “Pretend you’re normal and gorge yourself on unhealthy foods and movies.”</p><p>“You’re the one telling my trainer why my body fat is higher than it should be.”</p><p>Nico rolls his eyes, “One pack of crisps isn’t going to ruin your body. Gods, what is your trainer telling you?”</p><p>“Not to eat anything with carbs and anything that’s unhealthy.”</p><p>“What’s left then?”</p><p>That gets a laugh from Leo and he eventually reaches for the bag of crisps taking one and biting into it. It hurts Nico to watch him bite a crisp, instead of swallowing it whole, but he’ll take it. Anything is better than to watch Leo stare at a bag longingly.</p><p>“I’m making chicken wings and salad for dinner later. Do you want anything else with that?”</p><p>“You don’t have to make dinner for me. I can cook.”</p><p>“I know. But I want to. So, what do you want to eat?”</p><p>Leo frowns and stares at the screen long enough so Nico thinks he won’t answer at all.</p><p>“Can you make fries?” He whispers so quiet Nico can barely hear him over Donna singing Money Money.</p><p>“Sure. Anything else?” He asks, “I was thinking we could order doughnuts from Dunkin Doughnuts later? To celebrate?”</p><p>“There’s nothing to celebrate.”</p><p>“Sure there is. You successfully told Ellen to go fuck herself and talked about the tape for the first and last time. I’d say that’s reason to celebrate.”</p><p>“I didn’t tell Ellen to fuck off. I went red and stuttered.”</p><p>“And then you told her that you were uncomfortable. Look man, you gotta focus on the little victories.” Nico cringes at the fact that he’s repeating a Chiron mantra (of course, a whole lot more casual than Chiron would have said it).</p><p>“You’re weird.”</p><p>Nico shrugs. He’s heard worse. “And you’re famous. Tell me something I don’t know yet.”</p><p>Leo snorts and grabs another crisp. They return to watching the movie. Leo cracks jokes the longer the movie goes on and they sing along to the songs. Well, Leo does, Nico has neither seen the movie nor heard the songs before. When Leo finds out he almost has a seizure. He gapes and stares at Nico and then shakes his head turning up the volume on the movie and sings along to every single song. He even beings moving along to the beat after a while. It’s entirely too endearing. Not just that but Leo’s a fantastic singer. Nico should know that, knows it even, in theory. It’s a whole different thing to see it in action. He knows that Leo can sing, he’s read about the covers Leo and Jason post on YouTube and he knows that Leo starred in a musical a few years back. But seeing Leo sing along to ABBA with the passion he only ever shows in movies or at particularly corny jokes is like hearing angels for the first time. Nico thinks he never wants to hear anything else again. Leo’s voice is too lovely to let go.</p><p>“I’m gonna go put the chicken wings into the oven. You pick the next movie.”  He tells Leo while he gets up after Mamma Mia has ended.</p><p>He’s pissed that they didn’t actually find out who the dad was in the end, but he supposes he can deal with it as long as he gets to stare at the three guys. He hadn’t expected any of them to be good looking but, hey, he’s never one to be angry about surprises like that. Leo made a passing comment about one of the actors in the movie and about how they’re actually as nice in person and it had taken Nico a second to understand. In theory, he knows that Leo is a movie star, he goes to interviews and has a manager and he has his own Wikipedia page but in practice? It’s strange to hear Leo talking about these people that seem almost fictional to Nico. He doesn’t know them and only sees them in movies and commercials yet here Leo is, talking about them like he hung out with them two weeks ago. Which he probably even did. It’s terrifying to know that Leo’s world is at once the same as Nico’s and also a completely different universe.</p><p>Nico orders a twelve pack of doughnuts and then puts the chicken and fries into the oven .When he comes back Leo is still scrolling through Netflix. He eventually picks Derry Girls. Nico’s never seen it, but Leo assures him it’s fantastic. Within the first fifteen minutes of the first episode Leo and Nico are nearly on the floor laughing. Leo tries to copy the Irish accent several times and does a creepily good job. He urges Nico to try too. He doesn’t do as well but Leo laughs anyway which makes the embarrassment worth it. They get to episode three before the doorbell rings and Nico gets up to answer. He comes back with the doughnuts and sets them down on the table. They’re gone two episodes later.</p><p>They eat dinner in between season one and two. Leo thanks him several times for making food and Nico wants to roll his eyes but simply says ‘no problem’ instead.</p><p>It feels nice. Not fantastic or showstopping or amazing but nice. So nice that Nico doesn’t know what to do with the feeling. He’s felt great or incredible before. Like after the battle of Manhattan or when he finally escaped the labyrinth or the day, he realized that his crush on Percy was gone. But nice? <em>Nice</em>? He doesn’t recall ever just feeling nice, content and happy. Like he could spend the rest of his life sitting on the couch like this eating doughnuts and chicken wings and imitating Irish accents badly and singing along to ABBA songs. He hopes the feeling never goes away.</p><p>Leo falls asleep during the second episode of the second season and Nico follows soon after. Tomorrow is the weekend anyway. They have nothing to worry about. For once, Nico can sleep in peace, cuddled in blankets and pillows with the TV playing softly in the background. He feels at home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Me? Posting more than once per month? It's more likely than you think. <br/>For real though, I'm so sorry about any typos I had like half a meltdown before editing this so here.<br/>I hope it's still readable, my English abilities left me yesterday when I tried to read through it again and the meltdown didn't help either.</p><p>For anyone wondering, I was thinking of turning this into a series split into segments with possibly also a Jeyna fic and one Piper/Calypso one so if you'd like that let me know.</p><p>I also drew something for this fic (it's vain I know leave me be I was inspired) so this took longer to actually write because I kept getting sidetracked.</p><p>Anyway, the title is from 'Build God, then we'll talk' By P!atd for anyone wondering.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Elephant in the room</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Let me know I need to tag something extra, I haven't yet needed to update them but let me know if I should. I'm shit at tagging anyway.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Leo is already awake when Nico opens his eyes. His neck is stiff, and his leg feels numb, but it was probably the best night’s sleep he’s had in a while. The spot where Leo used to be is empty. The blanket is folded neatly, and all the snacks are gone.</p><p>It smells of waffles, which is strange because Nico doesn’t remember seeing either a waffle iron or the necessary ingredients when he was looking through the cupboards earlier.</p><p>He shuffles off the sofa and into the kitchen where Leo is sitting on the counter, scrolling through his phone. He’s biting at his nails nervously, his brow twitching. He doesn’t look as calm as he did the day before.</p><p>“You made waffles?” Nico asks.</p><p>Leo’s head snaps up and for a second the anxious demeaner relaxes, “I didn’t have the stuff needed, so I just went down the block and got some.”</p><p>“You didn’t have to.”</p><p>“I wanted to. Besides, you made dinner yesterday.”</p><p>Nico rolls his eyes at the weak attempt of showing gratefulness. Leo doesn’t need to thank him. Cheering someone up is the proper thing to do, be it a friend or your boss in this case. Though, Nico has to admit, he hasn’t thought of Leo as his boss since he helped him through his mini breakdown.</p><p>“Thanks. I’m really hungry.”</p><p>Leo smiles. Then he goes back to scrolling through his phone, the anxiousness returning instantly.</p><p>“You okay there, Hollywood?”</p><p>“I don’t know. Probably. Yeah.” Leo laughs weakly and thrusts his phone in Nico’s direction, “I mean, just look at what they’re writing.”</p><p>He can’t really imagine anyone writing anything bad about Leo after the successful interview, but he takes the phone and looks closer, anyway. He has the urge to smash it against the counter the moment he reads the plethora of headlines Leo’s manager sent him.  <em>Leo Valdez’s Secret life finally explained</em>, one says, <em>Leo Valdez responds to sex tape rumors with homosexuality innuendos</em>, the next one says. Nico can’t see how any of them are intelligent or should be published. Yet, here they are the front page of TMZ at 11 in the morning. Leo looks mortified.</p><p>“It’s not that bad. It could be a whole lot worse.” Nico tries to console him.</p><p>Leo snatches back the phone, “No! It couldn’t be worse! Jo is going to murder me!”</p><p>“I’m sure it’ll be fine. You’ll lay low for a bit and then come back like it never happened.”</p><p>Leo groans and throws his hands up, “Have you never been part of a scandal before? It won’t just blow over. I’ve gone from being fully in the closet to being in a glass closet. This is horrible.”</p><p>“What the fuck is a glass closet?”</p><p>Leo looks at him strangely, “You know, everyone sort of figured it out but we’re still pretending I’m straight.” He sighs and glares at the ground, “Jo is scheduling a pap walk with Calypso. She wants me to look straight again.”</p><p>“I thought you broke up with Calypso like last year?” Nico tries to recall the article he remembers reading about the dramatic breakup.</p><p>Leo shrugs, “I guess. I don’t know, Jo says Calypso agreed and she’ll let me know when it is. All I have to do is show up and look happy.”</p><p>“You’re just going to stay in the closet like that?”</p><p>“What else am I gonna do? Come out?” he laughs pityingly, “Yeah, right, in my dreams. The day I come out is the day I die.”</p><p>“Right, well, then I guess the pap walk will help?” Nico’s not quite sure what exactly a pap walk is but he’ll find out soon enough anyway. Maybe he could ask her, without giving it all away?</p><p>“For a while, at least the gossip magazines. My fans won’t believe shit but Jo cares more about the magazines than them.” Leo says.</p><p>“And you just go along with that?”</p><p>“What else should I do?”</p><p>Nico doesn’t think he really expects an answer, but he tells him anyway, “Have you thought about telling Jo you don’t want to do any more pap walks? That you want to stay completely ambiguous.”</p><p>“Yeah, no. Jo wants what’s best for me. She knows how to handle this. She’ll fix it. She’ll fix me.”</p><p>Nico hates that Leo thinks there’s anything to fix with Leo or the situation. If Leo wants to come out, he should be able to. No magazines or gossip articles or interviews should stop him from doing that. Unless, of course, Leo doesn’t actually want to come out. It’s something Nico hadn’t previously considered. He’d assumed that no matter what Leo’s sexuality actually is, he’d want his fans, the people who love him most in the world, to know. But maybe that’s exactly it, Leo doesn’t want them to know. Doesn’t think they’d accept him the same way Nico thought camp and Percy and everyone else wouldn’t accept him. And fuck, somehow that only makes it worse.</p><p>“What are you plans for today?” Nico asks, desperate to keep his voice even. He thinks he fails miserably.</p><p>“I don’t know. I was thinking of going shopping or something, getting some clothes all that. Make a public appearance, that type of thing.”</p><p>“Do you want me to call your driver? Or make any lunch reservations?”</p><p>Leo shakes his head and when he speaks Nico barely hears him, “Would you possibly like to come with me? Like, not as my PA, but… I don’t know, my friend?”</p><p>Nico feels like someone knocked the air out of him. He doesn’t recall anyone ever specifically calling him their friend. Sure, Percy and Frank and the people at camp like him but he’s never heard any of them call him their friend. Yet here Leo is, calling Nico the person everyone at camp is even a little bit afraid of, his friend. It shouldn’t feel so right, a single word shouldn’t make Nico want to grin and laugh with Leo until the world ends. Somehow though, it does exactly that. He feels on top of the world. He doesn’t even care that he hates shopping or going out into the hot sun, everything he cares about in that moment is that Leo, happy obnoxious, popular, world-famous Leo wants Nico to be his friend. <em>Nico</em>, local demigod nobody who everyone is afraid of. He wants Nico to be his friend and accompany him. Nico doesn’t think he could say no if he tried.</p><p>“Sure. Getting out of the house for something that’s not work might be nice.” He answers as casually as he can.</p><p>Leo lights up instantly, “Great! I’ll show you my favorite shops and we can even go to hot topic and get you some clothes that actually fit you!”</p><p>“Oi, I don’t shop at Hot Topic.”</p><p>“Yes. Yes, you do, don’t lie. I’ve seen your sleep shirt.”</p><p>With that he gives Nico a last excited grin and skips out of the room and up the stairs.</p><p>Since they’d fallen asleep on the sofa yesterday, Leo hadn’t actually shown Nico his room in the apartment. He’d assured Nico that there would be one, but they’d never gotten around to actually going there.</p><p>He grabs his overnight bag from where it’s still discarded by the door and elects to change in the bathroom. As much as he hates to admit it, Leo’s apartments are nice. Nico thought he would the decadent and rich apartments but Leo’s feel homely. Not the LA one, it’s essentially barren of anything that could betray comfort but in a way, it had feel like home the day before. Like the apartment you move into just after graduating with your best friend. There are no decorations, no books and no picture frames yet, the kitchen is empty and the only place to sit is a single sofa in the living room. It’s a place full of promise. Of memories to be made, of pictures to be hung and of laughter be heard. Leo’s apartments and houses feel empty and alone but at the same time it feels like he so desperately wants it to be home. He runs through them laughing and giggling, talking like he’s at his parent’s house for Thanksgiving. Nico can’t decide whether he likes or hates it.</p><p>One look in the mirror tells him that if he goes out with Leo the way he looks now, he’ll be the laughingstock of the nation. It’s not like he has any fancy clothes he could wear but he could at least brush his hair and wash his face properly.</p><p>He brushes his teeth and attempts to get his hair under control, in the end opting for a half up pony tail. His bangs are too short to stay in it for longer than like two seconds and he eventually accepts his fate and deals with the fact that he’ll be brushing them out of his eyes the entire day. He could think of worse things. Not many, but at least three things are worse than that. Like the mortifying conversation with Percy where he told him about his crush. That was most definitely the worst conversation of Nico’s life.</p><p>He then decides that, since he’s not technically going with Leo as his assistant but a friend, he should be free to wear whatever he wants. He grabs a black shirt with a skull on it, Hazel gave it to him when he was 16. It doesn’t fit as perfectly anymore since he’s grown since then, but he wears it anyway. It’s his favorite shirt and he wouldn’t give it up for the world.</p><p>The rips in his jeans are not intentional and come from a variety of monster attacks but no one has to know that. To the general public they’ll just look like extra artfully crafted trousers. Maybe like the one sweater Kanye wore with the holes bitten into them. Maybe if he’s just confident enough he’ll look fashionable. It seems to work with most celebrities.</p><p>“Are you ready, death boy?” Leo asks through the bathroom door, knocking twice. Nico is appalled and endeared at the fact that Leo chose the same nickname everyone else uses. He really has to fix his face if everyone comes to the conclusion that he looks like death.</p><p>“I need to get a present for Piper, for her birthday. It’s like in three days.” Leo tells Nico when he emerges from the bathroom. He pushes his phone in Nico’s face immediately.</p><p>“What is that?” He asks as he stares at the thing on Leo’s screen. It’s a golden thing with little glass (or diamonds, judging from the price) crystals forming words that Nico can’t read. It looks fashionable, hip and completely unreasonable.</p><p>“A bracelet. Should I get it for her?”</p><p>“Are you asking as my boss or as my friend?” He tries to ignore his his stomach flutters at the word friend.</p><p>“As my friend.”</p><p>“It’s hideous. I’d murder you if you got me that.”</p><p>Leo grins, “I know right, it’s horrible! It’s gonna be so funny. It was in Vogue last month and we were making fun of it. She thinks it’s revolting. She’s gonna be furious when she gets it.”</p><p>“You’re getting her a $5,340 bracelet just to piss her off?”</p><p>“Well, I’ll get her something else as well. I saw this pepe jumper on Etsy that I think she’ll like. It was like three dollars.”</p><p>“What the fuck?”</p><p>He grins and shoves his phone into his pocket, “She gives me horrible presents every year and I give her dumb stuff as well. We’ve been doing it since we met.”</p><p>“Gods, to be rich and stupid.” Nico mumbles.</p><p>“Oi! I’m not stupid! I may be rich but I'm not stupid.”</p><p>“Yeah, sure, and I’m not the palest person on the planet.” Nico deadpans. Leo laughs again and Nico decides he loves the sound more than he has any right to.</p><p>“I dunno, maybe there’s someone paler than you out there.”</p><p>Nico shakes his head and the two move past the kitchen and out of the building into the parking lot. The moment Nico steps foot into the sun he regrets it. You see, in camp the weather is always perfect. Meaning, it’s never too hot but it also never gets too cold. California on the other hand, doesn’t show mercy to people who don’t spend their day outside. His skin feels like it’s on fire and his organs might as well be boiling inside of him. He just hopes Leo has a working AC in his car. There’s absolutely no way he’s getting on the underground, or Gods forbid, the bus in this heat. He’d die before he sits next to fifty other people in an overcrowded car.</p><p>“You drive a BMW?” Nico’s no sure what he expected, maybe a Porsche or a Bugatti but not an old white BMW.</p><p>“Got a problem with that?” Leo asks as he slips into the driver’s seat. Somehow, Nico had never really thought about Leo driving himself somewhere. Leo and going somewhere always somehow included Harrison. Not this time though, Leo seems keen on doing everything himself.</p><p>“No, not at all. Just didn’t peg you for BMW type of guy.”</p><p>“Then what did you think I’d drive?”</p><p>“Maybe like a Bugatti? You seem like the type of guy to think the faster the better.”</p><p>Leo grins and shoots him a wink before pulling out of the parking lot, “Trust me, this is not the only car I have. If you wanna go fast, I’ll lend you my Lamborghini.”</p><p>“You own a Lamborghini?”</p><p>“I do. I used to own a Ferrari as well, but I crashed it three days after buying it. You might have read about that.”</p><p>Nico had in fact read about that. Superstar crashes $ 500,000 car in drug frenzy, the headline had read. Nico had been more concerned to know whether Leo ended up in the hospital than whether or not the yellow car had survived the crash. Unfortunately, the article hadn’t shared the same sentiment and Nico had had to card though endless heaps of facts about the car and the drugs Leo had been on to find even a tiny side note about Leo’s wellbeing. That had cemented the fact that the celebrity world is the absolute worst.</p><p>“Where are we going first?” Nico asks.</p><p>“We’re getting the bracelet.” Leo answers with a grin that could probably light up the New York skyline. Nico can’t help his own smile.</p><p>They drive through the city together like that, with matching grins on their faces. Leo points out buildings and restaurants to Nico and tells him stories about dates and events he’s been to. He tells him about the worst and the best tourist attractions and best place to get churros. Nico asks about streets and the theaters they drive by and Leo tells him which ones he’s been to and which ones he’d like to go to. He promises to take Nico to the movie theatre some time. Nico can’t stop his stomach from doing flips at the promise. He knows it’s just a sentence and it probably won’t even happen but still, the excitement is there.</p><p>Leo leads him into a store that Nico, if he was alone, would probably have scoffed and laughed at. It reads CHANEL in big bold letters and Leo informs him that it sells specifically jewelry. The thought isn’t really comforting. Especially not when Nico remembers that he’s wearing ripped jeans and a very emo looking shirt. Not to mention his face. He probably looks homeless to the clerk at the counter. Leo assures him that it’s fine, but really, Nico doesn’t believe him. After all, Leo fits in perfectly. He’s wearing black pressed pants and a white button down and an assortment of rings and necklaces. He keeps fiddling with them. He doesn’t seem nervous though, it looks more like a habit or a way to keep himself grounded. Must be the ADHD then.</p><p>The clerk greets them and seems to recognize Leo. She smiles and Leo tells her about the bracelet. She nods and goes to get it. Looks like Leo already ordered it.</p><p>“This place is ridiculous.” Nico whispers more to himself than anything else.</p><p>Leo grins, “I know, right? The things they sell are hideous.”</p><p>“No, not just that. It’s so expensive. You really want to pay $3,000 for a ring?”</p><p>“I mean, yeah, maybe.” He shrugs and reaches out to touch the ring, “Say, if I were getting married. I’d pay even more for a nice ring. Don’t you agree?”</p><p>“No way. Someone could propose to me with an onion ring for all I care. It’s not about the ring. It’s about who’s proposing.”</p><p>“Yeah, but wouldn’t you want to put the effort into picking the perfect ring?”</p><p>Nico shrugs and walks toward the other end of the room. He’s never considered proposing to anyone, much less marriage. To be honest, he never even thought he’d live long enough to consider it. He always thought he’d die by the time he turns sixteen. Any anyway, there was never time to meet anyone. During the war everyone was busy getting murdered and Percy was far out of Nico’s league. Now though, Leo’s planted the thought in Nico’s brain. The thought of sitting outside on a terrace with someone, drinking tea and laughing about stupid things. About buying a house and furnishing it together. About not sleeping alone anymore. It feels like a pipe dream to Nico. Something he’ll never achieve.</p><p>He's so caught up in his own thoughts that he doesn’t even notice Leo speaking to the clerk and paying for the bracelet. The next thing he knows they’re walking out of the store and back into the LA heat of early June.</p><p>“Do you wanna get lunch?” Leo asks, as though the last conversation never happened.</p><p>“Sure, I could eat right now. Where do you wanna go?”</p><p>“I don’t really care. Wherever is fine.”</p><p>Nico shrugs and shoves his hands into his pockets, “We could just go to McDonald’s.”</p><p>“You can’t keep disobeying my trainer.”</p><p>“They have a salad there.”</p><p>Leo thinks for a moment and then smiles, “You’re not wrong. Let’s go.”</p><p>He makes a sharp turn on to the right and leads Nico down the street, “Piper and I used to spend almost every day there, waiting for call backs from auditions and jobs. We didn’t have proper WIFI in the apartment we lived in, so we came here every day to check out emails.”</p><p>Nico snorts and shakes his head. Only Leo would go to McDonald’s not to actually eat but to check his emails. He can’t wait for Leo to come to Camp and realize that there’s essentially no internet there. That’s bound to be a fun day.</p><p>They round a corner and Nico nearly goes into cardiac arrest when he hears high pitched giggling. Leo takes a deep breath next to him and Nico is confused as to what exactly is happening. When he turns around there’s a group of girls, standing across the street waving frantically, shouting. Leo waves back and grins. The next thing Nico knows, is the group has crossed the street and Leo is enveloped in a gaggle of blushing teenagers.</p><p>They squeal and ask for autographs. Leo signs their assorted objects; one girl even holds out her phone case and another tells him to sign her shirt. He does so and laughs with them at the things they say. He seems right in his element.</p><p>“Can I get a hug?” three of them ask and Nico nearly chokes on his own spit. Who in their right mind thinks it’s okay to ask a random person on the street for a hug? Surely, Leo has to say no. Except he grins and nods vigorously.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah of course! Bring it in!” He looks positively ecstatic at the prospect of hugging his fans. The gaggle of teens squeal and dive into it like their life depends on it. One stays behind and when the others let go, she steps forward. She takes a deep breath and looks Leo in the eye, a soft smile on her lips.</p><p>“I just wanted to say thank you for everything. You saved my life and I don’t think I can ever thank you enough. Because of you, my mom still has a daughter.”</p><p>Leo’s face falls and there’s a sharp intake of breath before he’s pulling her into the tightest hug Nico has ever seen, whispering, “Oh, darling, come here.”</p><p>The girl grips him tighter and Nico is pretty sure he sees a few tears escaping her. Leo only holds her tighter. He waits for her to let go first and when she does, he holds her shoulders and looks her in the eyes and tells her, “I’m so, so proud of you. You’re so incredibly strong and I’m so glad to have met you. Thank you for staying.”</p><p>He’s speaking in a way that sounds like he’s done it so many times before. Like he’s comforted plenty of crying fans before. Still, he treats her like she’s the only girl in the world and like they’ve been friends for ages. Like he knows and loves her more than life itself. Nico is beginning to understand why half the world is in love with him. He’s sure that if he’d have been a normal teenager with a normal life, Nico would have had a poster of Leo up on his wall, much like those girls probably do. Maybe he would’ve convinced Bianca to take him to a meet and greet and gotten the poster signed. He could have been a normal teenager with a normal crush on a celebrity, instead of fighting for his life for the ideals of Gods who don’t care about him or anyone else.</p><p>“Can we take a picture?” The girl asks.</p><p>Leo nods and turns to Nico, for the first time acknowledging him since the teens showed up, “Will you take it? That way we can get better ones.”</p><p>The girls all nod and giggle and one of them holds out her phone to Nico. He shrugs and takes it from her, standing back a bit to get a proper photo.</p><p>Leo insists on taking a photo with every single one of them. He does any pose they want and holds them close like they’re family. He’s smiling as though it’s Christmas eve and he’s with his loved ones, about to open presents.</p><p>In the end he asks them if they want a group photo and when they agree he maneuvers them all into the frame. Leo pulls he girl who’d been crying earlier right in the middle next to him, throwing his arm around her and tugging her into his side. She looks at home there. The photo looks like joy incarnate. Nico is not prepared at all. He’s staring at the group, at the man, in front of him and he doesn’t understand the surge of adrenaline he feels. And he doesn’t understand why his heart skips a beat when Leo tugs the girl closer and she giggles, gripping his shirt tighter.</p><p>Maybe not everything is horrible about the entertainment industry. Just maybe, there are good things after all.</p><p>He hands the phone back to the girls and watches as they excitedly swipe through the photos. They grin and thank Leo again. Then they look Nico over before turning back to Leo. Nico feels strangely on display, in his old and cheap clothes standing right next to someone like Leo.</p><p>“Is he your cousin?” They ask, strangely calm for once.</p><p>Leo shakes his head nods in Nico’s direction, “He’s my assistant and friend. We’re just hanging out, doing some shopping.”</p><p>“Oh! I thought Martin was your assistant.”</p><p>Nico is surprised to find that the fans know the other assistant. It makes him wonder whether he’ll be known like that.</p><p>“Nah, he quit. Couldn’t deal with my crap anymore. Nico, here is doing a great job though so it’s all good.”</p><p>The girls nod and turn to look at Nico again. They look him up and down a few times before turning toward each other and whispering and giggling. Then one of them steps forward and hold out her phone to him. He assumes she wants him to take another photo but when he looks at the screen it’s not the camera app, but Instagram.</p><p>“So, you’re kinda cute. Can I have your Instagram?” She asks.</p><p>He gapes at her for a second and then looks at Leo, who only shrugs. Nico feels helpless.</p><p>“I don’t have Instagram, sorry.” He tells her.</p><p>She blinks once, surprised, but recovers immediately, “Twitter? Snapchat? Anything like that?”</p><p>“Uh, no sorry. I’m not really up to date on all the technology.”</p><p>She frowns and pulls out the pen she had Leo sign her phone case with earlier. She grabs Nico’s hand and starts scribbling something on it. She caps the pen again and gives him a satisfied smile.</p><p>“Let me know when it changes. I’d love to get to know you.” She winks at him and then the girls are leaving. They say goodbye to Leo and thank him again before they’re across the street and walking toward the nearest Starbucks.</p><p>“What the fuck was that?” Nico lifts his hand to examine the writing closer and finds that it is, in fact, a phone number scribbled messily. He can’t make out half of it, but he thinks it doesn’t matter anyway. He definitely won’t be calling her in the near future. Or ever.</p><p>“You could have just told her your Instagram. She wouldn’t have stalked you. Probably only sent a DM or something.” Leo tells him.</p><p>“Oh, I don’t have Instagram. I wasn’t lying.”</p><p>Leo sighs deeply and reaches for Nico’s hand, dragging him down the road, “That’s unacceptable. We have to make you one. If you’re seen out with me more often, people will ask you for it. And she wasn’t wrong, you’re not hard on the eyes either.”</p><p>“Why would they want my Instagram? What’s the point, it’s not like we’ll become friends or anything.”</p><p>Leo gapes at him again, “Dude, she was flirting with you. She doesn’t want to be friends, she wants to get laid, possibly date you. There is no friendship involved there.”</p><p>“Well, she’ll be disappointed. She’s not my type.”</p><p>Leo laughs, “Not into blondes then?”</p><p>“Not into girls.” Nico answers with a pleased smile. Leo’s face goes red and he gives an insecure smile.</p><p>“Oh, well then you better be prepared for the guys asking. There’ll be a lot.”</p><p>“Whatever you say.”</p><p>Leo rolls his eyes at him, though he still looks embarrassed.</p><p>They go to McDonald’s like planned and Nico gorges himself on his happy meal and even Leo eats a burger. They talk about anything and nothing at once. Leo asks about Nico’s life and Nico tells him that he had a sister and that he lives with his friends. He tells him that his mother died and that he sometimes visits his father and his new wife. He tells him that he works at a summer camp during the holidays and that he travels a lot. Leo listens closely to every word, like he's filing it away for later reference. He’s watching Nico as though Nico is the only person on the planet. Nico basks in the attention. It’s like sitting directly in the sun, warm and beautiful.</p><p> </p><p>When they get back home Leo finally shows Nico is room, though he won’t be using it a lot anyway. It’s a simple bedroom with barren walls, a king sized bed and a walk in closet. To Nico it might as well be a hospital room with how empty it is. He wonders whether the other assistant, Martin, decorated it. Whether he had photos of his family on the walls and colorful sheets that he liked. He asks himself whether Leo would allow it. Allow Nico to put up photos of his own friends in Leo’s own home when Leo barely even has photos of his own friends up. He thinks that he might. Leo seems like the type of person to allow anything so long as it makes someone else happy.</p><p>He lets himself fall on the bed with a loud thud. It’s soft and the sheets feel heavenly on his tired body. It’s late in the evening and he should be sleeping right now. Leo told him they’d be going out again tomorrow and to be up at 7. For some reason though, Nico can’t seem to fall asleep. He stares at the ceiling, waiting for it to open up swallow him up. It doesn’t. It stays pitifully grey, empty and boring. He can hear Leo in the other room on the phone, speaking to someone. He can’t hear who he’s speaking to but whoever it is, Leo sounds excited.</p><p>That’s the thing, Leo is such a contradiction. ON one hand he’s so, so excited to meet his fans and hang out with his friends and on the other hand he’s terrified of going outside for fear of doing something wrong. He wears expensive and fancy clothing but when he’s relaxing on the sofa he wears oversized t-shirts with holes and stains on them and ratty sweatpants. He fakes smiles and tells lies as though his life depends on it but he comforts a fan like they’re his blood. He’s contradictory in every and no way at the same time. Nico wonders why. Why Leo would grow into a man who lies, only to please others when he runs his mouth off with his friends. He wonders who hurt him, to make him believe that his only worth is his likes on Instagram. That he’s worth nothing but his achievements.</p><p>Nico groans and turns on his stomach trying to drone out the thoughts. He does not need to be thinking about Leo right now. He’s his boss and nothing else. Still, he can’t get the image of Leo, embarrassed and flushed at Nico’s coming out, out of his head. He can’t get the feeling of Leo’s hand from his hand and he feels like he’s burning too hot. The phone number on his hand is etched into his skin like a scar. He wants it off.</p><p>In an instant Nico shadow travels back to his cabin at camp half blood. The cabin that’s always comfortably cold. The one that feels like home more than any of Leo’s apartments or houses ever will.</p><p>He nearly runs to the sink and runs the ice-cold water over his hands. They cool down immediately and he feels that he can finally move them again. The ink washes off and with it the thoughts of the day. He feels more at peace, like he can actually think without the thick fog of heat over his mind like there’d been before.</p><p>He sits on the floor of his bathroom, bare legs on the cold tiles. It’s refreshing, familiar. He feels like he can exist here.</p><p>Nico stares at the ceiling, this time not wishing for it to swallow him up. He knows that Chiron would kill him if he found out that Nico returned without Leo but what Chiron doesn’t know doesn’t hurt him. For now, Nico is simply staying at home in favor of staying in an unfamiliar apartment across the country with an unfamiliar man in an unfamiliar city. Chiron would understand. Besides, Nico will simply shadow travel back in the morning just before he’s supposed to be awake. Leo won’t know a single thing and Nico can finally be alone for even just a second.</p><p>Just a moment of silence in the hectic and loud life that Leo lives. He feels that there’s no escape from it. Everywhere he goes, there Leo is. On a billboard, on a poster, on the lock screens of other people or in the conversations of those around him. He can’t rid himself of the man. Not that he particularly wants to, he enjoys Leo’s company. It’s Leo’s life that he wants to escape. The constant phone calls and PR stunts and interviews that he’s tired of watching. He’s only been here for a few weeks and he’s already so tired of Leo’s life. He can’t imagine Leo living like this for nearly six years. If he were Leo he would have long ago used all his money to buy a big house in the middle of nowhere and disappear there until he dies. Maybe visit Hazel once in a while, but other than that no one would ever see him again. Or he’d use the money to fix Camp half blood a little.</p><p>Which only reminds him. He’s meant to be bringing Leo here. To do just that, rip him from the life that’s killing him and pull him into one that will do the same, just faster. He doesn’t know how. How do you tell someone that they’re a demigod? Percy had told Nico, but at the time Nico had been ten and he hadn’t known what exactly that meant anyway. Leo is 22-years old. He would know and understand but he wouldn’t believe. And Nico can explain and show as much as he wants but Leo won’t believe if he doesn’t want to. He’ll think Nico insane and never want to speak to him again. Nico can’t have that. He’s a good man, but a selfish one as well. He longs for a friend and Leo is the one he found. He’s not going to risk it for Chiron and his conviction in bringing every half-blood to camp. Besides, Leo is safe in his house. He has a bodyguard and he has security if he’s going to events. He’s never alone and he’s survived 22 years on his own.</p><p>If Leo came to camp, he’d have to learn, to train. He’d have to <em>know</em>. Chiron would never let him out again except for a quest. He would never give Leo a quest. There are older campers, Leo would spend his life stuck in a cabin with five other people training to fight in a war for someone who never cared about him. HE wouldn’t be able to work, and people would wonder where he went. He wouldn’t be able to see his friends, his family and his fans. He’d completely lose everything he built for himself through so much pain and lying just to rot away in a cabin outside of New York with no Wi-Fi or alcohol to drone out the eternal silence. He’d go insane.</p><p>Maybe Chiron isn’t always right. Maybe for once, a demigod is safer away from camp than at camp.</p><p>Nico passes out on his bathroom floor beneath the sink. He tells himself that maybe Leo doesn’t have to know. Maybe Leo can stay blissfully ignorant and Nico can continue to bask in their friendship. Just for a little longer until Leo grows tired of his own life and feels ready to come to camp. Just a little longer won’t do any harm.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Two updates within the same week? I know I was surprised too.</p><p>I promise I know where this is going. I promise.</p><p>thanks everyone for the overwhelmingly positive answers I've gotten. I makes me very happy and keeps me motivated to a actually write this.</p><p>Anyway, I'm working on the piper/Calypso thing right now, I'll upload the story soon (hopefully) and I'm figuring out the Jeyna one as well. I also have a bunch of other Famous AUs as well so I'll be figuring these out (I'm just a sucker for them what can I say)</p><p>So yeah, thanks for reading I hope you lads have a wonderful day and lets hope I update again within the year.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. High Hopes Are Getting Low</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is a mess but so am I so here you go good luck</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Leo wiggles in the chair he’s sitting in, too short to reach the floor with his feet but not short enough to comfortably put his feet up without seeming inappropriate. The microphone is set up in front of him and all they’re waiting for is the sound techs to finish setting everything up. Nick is telling him one thing or the other while they wait. Nico is sitting behind the glass wall with the rest of the staff, interns and assistants. They’ve been waiting for hours.</p><p>Nico had been afraid to come. The ten-and-a-half-hour flight had seemed daunting and if Nico is being completely honest, he’d been very close to bailing on it completely. If the flight to LA had been scary, the one to London had been downright terrifying. Nico can still feel his hands shake whenever he thinks back to it.</p><p>When they’d stepped on the plane at the ass-crack of dawn Leo had gone straight for the bed. Yes, the bed. There had been an actual, honest to the Gods, bed on the private plane. Nico could not and would not understand how or why there was a bed on a plane. Moreover, why anyone would want to sleep on the plane. He’d wanted to bring it up to Leo, to ask how he isn’t afraid of flying seeing as Zeus could blast him out of the sky any time he wanted, but he’d stopped himself before he could. It was too early to be telling Leo about the Gods.</p><p>Leo had woken up after a few hours and walked back into the main area and promptly dropped on the sofa. He’d been shirtless, tired and completely disheveled. Nico had told him to get presentable should the flight attendant come by to check on them and Leo had laughed and assured him that she’s seen much, much worse. Nico had decided not to ask. He’d also shoved down the strange feeling in his stomach. He was probably just hungry, having not eaten breakfast.</p><p>Most of the plane ride had been spent with Leo interrogating Nico and telling bad jokes he’d probably googled before coming out of his private room on the plane. The flight attendant had brought them food, which had been surprisingly good, and she’d even offered champagne to Nico. Leo had wanted to accept on Nico’s behalf, but Nico had stopped him. No drinking on his watch, at least not if he could stop it.</p><p>Leo had started singing Toxic by Britney Spears halfway through and Nico had seriously considered jumping off the plane. Nothing in the world, no amount of training, could have prepared him for a shirtless Leo Valdez, belting Toxic at the top of his lungs, at 12 kilometers in the air with an empty water glass as his makeshift microphone. Nico really shouldn’t have found it as endearing as he did. Still, he filed the moment to the back of his mind for future reference.</p><p> </p><p>Now he’s sitting in a radio studio, on what feels like the same day as they started flying, with no sleep after arriving and he thinks he should have jumped out of the plane after all. They’d gone from the airport straight to Leo’s apartment (which had been lovely, and Nico really hadn’t wanted to leave) only to change and then get ready to go to the BBC 1 radio. They’d barely had time to brush their teeth before Nico had had to usher Leo to the car so they could go to Yalding House down in central London. Nico wants to curse Annabeth for scheduling the day so horribly. He feels like he’ll die if he has to sit there motionless any longer. His fingers keep flexing, begging for something, anything to do. It’s like his muscles are on fire, waiting to be cooled down. He wants to scratch and peel at his skin before it burns off.</p><p>He used to be able to stay awake for days on end with only minimal sleep in between, but in the recent years of staying at camp and living a properly scheduled life, he’d lost that ability. He can still stay awake longer than most people, it comes with being a son of Hades really, but not like he used to. Sometimes he thinks he’s getting old. It’s hard not to think so when the last time he felt really alive, really aware of his own fragility and possibility of death was when he was twelve years old. Twelve years old and fighting for his life in a way he should have had to. He should have spent his days crying over celebrities and homework, not fearing that maybe he won’t walk another day if he doesn’t move fast enough. If he blinks one too many times or if he sleeps too long and too deep. Ever since then, nothing’s been enough. Nothing can satsfy that need within him to survive and to conquer. To fight and attack and to show who he is in a way he’s not sure he understands. Or ever wants to understand. He fears that if he thinks about it too much he’ll turn into Luke; he’ll empathize too much.</p><p>Every day he feels like he’s not how he’s supposed to be. He could be better, could be doing something more. Every day he spends sitting at McDonald’s waiting for the next job from his father, he’s reminded that he used to be so much more. He used to have interests and hobbies. He used to love playing Mythomagic, but if there’s no one to play it with, there’s no point in playing and the interest dissolves into a vague understanding of former affection. Just like he’d grown out of pirates, sharks and anything else he used to like. He remembers times where he’d go to bed excited for the next day. He remembers not wanting to sleep because there was just too much more to do. Things to tell and jokes to laugh about with Bianca. Slowly that had turned into going to bed and fearing that he won’t wake up the next day, so he’d stopped going to bed in favor of eventually passing out form exhaustion in an abandoned house somewhere. Now he goes to bed hoping that the next day won’t be worse than the last. Hoping that he won’t wake up in the morning. He doesn’t hate himself. Doesn’t hate his life either. He feels indifferent to it at this point. He’s gotten past wanting to die but he’s never arrived at wanting to live. He’s not sure he’ll ever get there. He’s not sure whether he knows how to enjoy living anymore. He thinks he grew out of that too.</p><p> </p><p>A count down starts and Nico internally does his best to wake up. Leo shoots him a quick glance. Nico tries not to look affected by the tiny smile he gets. It’s harder than expected.</p><p>“Good morning, everybody!” Nick Grimshaw begins the show, a bright grin on his face and he already looks a whole lot more inviting than Ellen did. “Welcome to the BBC Radio 1 Breakfast show, Grimmy here. It’s Friday morning, first of June, and it’s just gone 6:30am, and our guest is here. Good Morning, Leo Valdez.”</p><p>“Good morning, Nick.” Leo greets, shifting his headphones so they fit properly.</p><p>“How are you?”</p><p>“I’m, uh, yeah I’m good actually. A bit tired, but you know. Pretty good, overall.”</p><p> “You’re being weird.”</p><p>Nico’s eyes go wide and he’s surprised to find Leo’s grin widening. What the fuck? Did he just honestly tell Leo that he’s being weird on national radio at six thirty in the morning? The man has no fear, it seems. Also, no manners, but Nico thinks that no interviewer does. They’re all nosy fucks.</p><p>“Am I?” Leo grins even wider, if possible, at all.</p><p>“Yeah. Not bad weird. Just a little off.” Nick tells him, “I don’t know if you noticed, but you were all calm and mushy earlier. I don’t know if it’s tired weird or everyone’s gonna see the movie weird.”</p><p>“No, no, I’m not nervous about the movie at all! I think it’s gonna be great.”</p><p>“Well, I haven’t seen it yet but you’re in it so I’m sure it’s going to be amazing.”</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>Nick smiles, and Nico thinks it’s a real smile. “So, if it’s not the movie that’s got you nervous, what is it then?”</p><p>“Nothing, really. Just, you know, being back in London after a few months.”</p><p>“Really? Well, I’m glad you’re back here. And so boring as well. Last time you were here, what six months ago? I asked you to be as boring as possible until you come back. Looks like you did good on that, yeah?”</p><p>“I promised, didn’t I? Can’t disappoint my friends.”</p><p>“Speaking of friends, how are Piper and Jason? We haven’t seen you guys on a show together in a while. A travesty, really.”</p><p>“Pretty good, yeah. We’ve been hanging out a bunch. Not particularly recently but we’ve been talking a lot as usual. Pipes has been booking jobs and waiting for callbacks and Jason’s been doing whatever it is he does in his free time. Probably sitting in his room writing sad love songs and eating crisps all day long.” Leo says. He looks so calm. Calmer than Nico has ever seen him. He’s leaning on the table with his elbows, his eyes fully focused on Nick. Not just that, but he’s sharing information voluntarily. He’s telling Nick about his friends, making jokes and grinning.</p><p>When they’d been on Ellen, Leo had avoided all eye contact. He’d been looking at the audience half the time, or toward Nico. He’d avoided saying more than strictly necessary and only spoken when spoken to first. Now though, he looks like he’s talking to a friend from high school over a pint or two. They’re both grinning at each other the way Nico only ever sees Travis and Conner grin. Nico can’t help the tiny smile that creeps its way up his face.</p><p>“Good to know the lads are doing well then. Did Piper tell you anything about any new jobs then that we can look forward to? Any juicy new campaigns we can wait for? Maybe another Chanel shoot?”</p><p>“No, nothing like Chanel. But she did call me about a job she booked on the weekend. She already posted about it, so I think I can say, right? It should be fine.”</p><p>Nick nods encouragingly, “Please do share with the class. We want all the new gossip.”</p><p>Leo grins at him and leans on his elbows more, as though he’s at a sleep over telling his best friend about something outrageous that happened. He has a mischievous glint in his eyes that’s only slightly covered by the look of immense pride on his face.</p><p>“She called me the other day, I was out on a date with Calypso, the usual, talking and enjoying a rare moment of privacy when she calls, right? Typical Pipes timing. She’s squealing and giggling and even sniffling and crying a bit and then she starts talking a mile a second and I’m like barely catching on, right? I was like proper confused, because I couldn’t tell whether she was having a mental breakdown or telling me she won the lottery,” Nick nods along fully invested, “And anyway, she finally stops and then she just goes ‘I’m walking the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show.’ And I just lost my mind. Like, what? How amazing is that?”</p><p>“Piper is walking the show? That’s fantastic! It’ll be the best show of the year.” Nick is beaming, the way a father or older brother would when their family member has won a trophy. He looks positively estatic.</p><p>“I know right?” Leo looks so excited that Nico almost feels bad about not even knowing what the heck Victoria’s Secret is. He grabs his phone to look it up before they start talking about more important things. He’s bombarded with photos of women in, admittedly, pretty lingerie. When he types in VS fashion show it’s much the same except this time lingerie with wings. It’s extravagant and big and Nico can sort of, on a very basic level, understand the hype behind the show. He also knows that Piper will do amazingly, if her usual confidence is anything to do by.</p><p>“Pipes is gonna kill me for this, but I don’t care. I’m telling you, she cried while we were on the phone. Like full on sobs, I haven’t seen her that happy since we got to meet the more famous Leo.” Leo shifts his headphones again.</p><p>“It’s strange isn’t it? How grown you guys are now, I mean.” Nick has a nostalgic smile on his face, “I remember you guys coming in for the first time like it was last week. With your braces and lisp and Piper’s wild choppy hair that wouldn’t fit under the headphones in a way she liked no matter how much she tried. You guys were so small, literal kids. And now you’re here promoting a block buster movie and telling me Piper is walking a VS fashion show. I feel like a proud dad, watching you guys grow up.”</p><p>Leo laughs, a fond look on his face and it occurs to Nico that Leo had meant it when he said Nick is a friend. He’d meant it when he’d cradled his phone close to his ear during the call and he’d meant it when he’d told Nico that Nick is the best radio show host out there. It occurs to Nico that not everyone in the industry is as horrible as he though. Nick sounds genuinely proud to see Leo growing up, delighted and impressed even.</p><p>“Oh god, don’t remind me of the braces. Why did you have to bring those up?”</p><p>“Why not? I think they looked grand. Magnificent even.”</p><p>“That was the worst thing in the world! Worse than the lisp and the acne.”</p><p>“Even worse than the time we played call or delete?”</p><p>Leo goes pale, laughter already rumbling out of him, “Yes! Call or delete I can repress, but the acne and braces are forever out there, man. I can’t even get those away.”</p><p>“Did you see there’s a whole blog dedicated to your braces and teenaged self? It’s quite popular too.”</p><p>“I don’t even want to know.”</p><p>Nick grins and shuffles the papers that are around him, fixing his mic again. He’s perpetually moving, a constant whirlwind of comments, compliments and encouragement. He shoots Leo an excited smile and sits up straighter.</p><p>“How do you feel about the movie?” He asks, “When it was announced that the premier would be on June third it seemed so far away but now it’s here. You’ll be there on Sunday, all dressed up ready to see the movie.”</p><p>“Yeah, and you’ll be there too, I hope.”</p><p>“Oh, I will be, nothing can stop me from seeing you in your newest movie.” Nick sounds like an older brother promising to come to their sibling’s theatre play so he can embarrass them. “Have you seen then movie yet?”</p><p>“No. Only parts of it. The director wouldn’t let me, said I might end up spoiling it. Piper has seen more of it than I have.”</p><p>“And will they be there as well? Can we expect your usual group to be there?”</p><p>“Jason and Piper will definitely be there. I think Jason’s bringing Reyna, his former assistant now trainer, as well. Calypso also promised to be there, and I think Piper’s coming alone. Maybe she’ll bring Lityerses just so she won’t be alone.”</p><p>“No date on the horizon for her?”</p><p>“No. We’ve been meaning to set her up because she keeps complaining about third wheeling, but she won’t go on a date either.”</p><p>“Maybe she’ll meet someone nice at the premier, or her new gig, yeah?”</p><p>“One can only hope. At least her and Calypso get along, so it won’t be awkward.”</p><p>Nick grins, seemingly having the perfect set up for his next topic of choice, “So are you and calypso a thing again then? A few people saw you out the other day. You called it a date too.”</p><p>“Yeah. We’ve been talking more recently, going out sometimes. I wouldn’t say we’re a <em>thing</em>yet.”</p><p>Nico knows full well that that’s complete bullshit. Leo’s talked more to the Uber Eats delivery guy these past few weeks than he’s spoken to Calypso. He went on that pap walk, which Nico now finally knows the meaning of, and if Nico remembers correctly, they texted once or twice. But nothing else. Leo never even mentioned her. If someone were to ask Nico, he’d think Calypso is approximately on the same level of intimacy as Lityerses is. Which may be close, but no close enough to warrant relationship rumors.</p><p>“Someone was speculating that you guys are engaged now, and as your friend I have to say I’m disappointed you didn’t consult me on the ring.”<br/>
Leo snorts and nearly chokes on air as he laughs. Nick looks pleased with himself at making Leo laugh.</p><p>“God no. We’re not engaged, far from it. We’ve just been seeing each other around more and hanging out more. We’ve been in the same cities recently. She’s just finished her world tour and came back to relax a little.”</p><p>“Too bad, I would have loved an invite to the wedding.”</p><p>Nico doesn’t know why, but for some reason the thought of Leo getting engaged and possibly married does something strange to his chest. It feels uncomfortable. He shifts in his seat and glowers at the two through the glass.</p><p>“Trust me, you’ll be the first to know.”</p><p>“Good. So, are you excited to have her there at the premier? Has anyone else been in touch? Friends, or people from your life before fame suddenly wanting to be Facebook friends again?”</p><p>Leo laughs again and nods a few times, “I mean, yeah. I’m super excited for it and I think Calypso is going to enjoy the movie as well. A few friends called me as well. Congratulating and all that. Lit and I went for lunch to celebrate, that kind of stuff.”</p><p>Nick lights up at the mention of Lityerses and shuffles to the edge of his chair, “Oh, tell the story you just told me. The one you were telling just before we went on air.”</p><p>“Lit is going to murder me if I do.”</p><p>“So? You only live once.”</p><p>Leo shakes his head and leans back on his elbows conspiratorially, “We were at lunch and we’re eating, you know the usual when he starts telling me about his latest hook up, some girl we met at a party. We talk and he tells me about her and then suddenly, you know he turns around because there’s noise right, and there she is. All five feet something, pure rage in her eyes. Lit, being the idiot, he is, only shrugs and laughs except it wasn’t all that funny and so she spilled her drink over his Armani shirt.” Leo grins, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him that upset before, and I was present when he found out his Play Station was stolen.”</p><p>Across from him, Nick his losing his shit. Nico can’t fight the smile either. The story itself is pretty basic and if anyone else had told it Nico would have rolled his eyes and told them to quit being stupid and to get a life, but the way Leo tells it, with pure excitement and conviction in his eyes just makes it the funniest thing Nico’s ever heard. He thinks Leo has potential to be a child of Aphrodite.</p><p>Nick and Leo talk for what feels like hours. Nico thinks that he’ll get bored, that he’ll end up on his phone browsing through meaningless memes and trying to memorize Leo’s schedule for the next week. Except, that’s not what happens. He listens to every word, hangs on to it like it’s a prayer he’s meant to recite at mass. Nick asks questions that are fun, and Leo answers the same way he does with Piper and Jason, and recently, even Nico. Around him people are doing their own thing during the first segment, but Nico finds himself unable to stop listening. He hates that he’s turning into the Aphrodite cabin kids.</p><p>They take a break in between segments, playing music that Leo and Nick sing along to. Leo ushers Nico into the studio during one such break. He shuffles into the room awkwardly and Leo throws his arm around Nico as best as he can while sitting down.</p><p>“Nick, meet my new assistant Neeks. He’s the one you called and hung up on.” Leo introduces. Nico isn’t quite sure when they entered nickname territory, but he finds that he doesn’t mind as much as he thought he would.</p><p>“So, you’re the cute one that Leo won’t quit talking about?”</p><p>Leo’s face twitches, “Excuse me, I did no such thing.”</p><p>“Right, so you didn’t call me at three am panicking about your new hot assistant who never smiles?”</p><p>“I did not.”</p><p>Nick raises his eyebrow at him, “Leo.”</p><p>“Nick.”</p><p>“<em>Leo</em>.”</p><p>“Nicholas.”</p><p>“Leonidas.”</p><p>“Nico.” Nico interjects to get both of them to stop. He doesn’t want to know how much longer these two can go. He also doesn’t want to hear what Leo was saying about him to Nick. At least not here in public when they were meant to be on air in a few very short minutes.</p><p>“Right. Sorry, about that.” Nick turns to Nico and reaches out his hand, “I’m Nick Grimshaw, Leo and I have been friends for literal ages. It’s good to see someone responsible taking care of him. Not that the other assistants weren’t responsible or anything, Leo just never spoke of them so fondly.”</p><p>“Nico di Angelo.” He shakes his hand, as much as it pains him to do so, “It’s nice to meet you too. Leo has spoken very highly of you.”</p><p>“Has he now?”</p><p>“He has.” Leo hisses out, his arms crossed over his chest. He’s pouting like an eight-year-old who didn’t get a treat.</p><p>“Well then, we’ll have to go out for a pint sometime. I do it with all of Leo’s assistants. Get a feel for what they’re like.”</p><p>Nico hates drinking. There’s absolutely no way he’s agreeing to this. He should say no.</p><p>“Sure, why not. I’m free whenever he doesn’t need me.” Nico answers.</p><p>“Which is never, am I right?”</p><p>Leo rolls his eyes and glares at Nick.</p><p>They talk a little more before they’re meant to go back on air. Most of it is Leo and Nick throwing jabs back and forth.</p><p>When they do go back on air it’s as enthusiastically as before. Nico finds his seat behind the glass wall again and waits for the next break so he can go to the bathroom in peace. It’s not that he’s forbidden from leaving during the show, he’s free to do whatever he damn well pleases, it’s just that he doesn’t want to miss anything Leo says. His words are dripping from his mouth like liquid gold. Nico wants to treasure them and speak them holy.</p><p>They go through a few more segments with questions and easy banter before Nick asks a question that has Nico sitting on the edge of his seat. It’s not all that important, it’s more that Nico wasn’t aware of it which is bad because it involves a lot of planning and calling Annabeth. Also, a lot of panicking but mostly just planning.</p><p>“So, a little birdie told me that you’re doing your annual <em>Drop Out</em> again.” Nick states, his head on his chin. Leo laughs and Nick looks like a kid on Christmas eve. Nico feels his hands go abnormally cold.</p><p>“Who told you that?”</p><p>“No one important. Could be anyone, really.”</p><p>“It was Jason, wasn’t it?” Leo asks, “He was here a few days ago, right? God, that man can’t keep a secret for the life of him.”</p><p>“He didn’t say much. Just a few comments here and there. But it’s true then? You’re doing it again?”</p><p>“Maybe. I’m not gonna tell you a lot, because there isn’t much yet. But yeah, we’ve been talking about it. Late night calls and random ideas, that type of thing.”</p><p>“Is it at all weird to do it again after such a long time? You haven’t done it in what, three years now?”</p><p>“Yeah, three. It is a little weird. But I think it would be cool. To just disappear for a month or two and live my life and all that.”</p><p>“So, do you guys already have a destination in mind then?”</p><p>Leo shrugs and leans back in his chair, “No, not yet. We’ve been talking and I think we’re getting close to deciding but there’s nothing safe yet. Piper will probably decide again. Nobody can deny her anything.”</p><p>“Can I come visit? I could use a few weeks off to lounge at the beach and relax.”</p><p>“Sure, you can come by.” Leo grins, “But only if you bring your boyfriend. You know we only tolerate you for him.”</p><p>Nick laughs loudly, “So I’ve been told. You already know who’s going then? Will it just be the golden trio or will anyone else unexpected come?”</p><p>“I don’t know, man. Pipes and Jace will definitely be there, they’re a must. Calypso will be there as well I think, she’s said that she’d like to come along. And If I bring someone then Jace will insist on bringing Reyna so then Piper will bring Lityerses because she doesn’t like being the odd one out. And then if you’re coming… It really won’t be a holiday anymore, will it?”</p><p>“Is your hot assistant coming as well, then?”</p><p>Leo nearly chokes on air and Nick only grins wider, “My hot… Oh my God. I hate you so much. You’re an idiot. I hate you.”</p><p>“Well, is he? The fans want to know, Leonidas. They’ve been patient but it ends somewhere.”<br/>
Leo screams humorously, turning his head to look at his handler and Nico behind the glass. He’s pushing his chair away from the table jokingly. Nick just continues prodding further until Leo relents,</p><p>“How do they even know? We barely went anywhere.”</p><p>“Twitter says differently, mate. Have you not seen <em>Replace Leo Valdez </em>trending? He’s very popular.”</p><p>“No, but now I want him to replace me. He’d do so much better, too.”</p><p>“So is that a yes to him coming on the holiday?”</p><p>Leo shrugs and glances at Nico through the glass again, a little anxious even. Nico can’t comprehend why Leo would be anxious.</p><p>“I mean, it’s up to him. I don’t strictly need him there, but if he wants to come that’s cool with me. I’ll hang out with him. If he doesn’t, he can just go home or chill at my house for a month.”</p><p>Nick laughs and the conversation continues as normal. At least for the two behind the glass. For Nico, the panic sets in fully. What the <em>fuck</em> is Leo’s annual drop out and what does it have to do with beaches. And why the fuck is it so important. Nico tries to rack his brain for anything he might have read about it but there’s nothing. His research hadn’t been that in-depth. He’d spent most of it frowning at press interviews and eating crisps.</p><p>He pulls out his phone to find approximately fifty billion twitter notifications greeting him. Almost all of them are about the Drop Out. The ones that aren’t, are incomprehensible gibberish that might as well also be about the Drop Out. Gods, do these people never sleep?</p><p>He types ‘Leo Valdez Drop Out’ into the search bar and instantly there’re articles and photos coming at him. The photos are all blurry, exclusively taken at airports with either Leo making ridiculous faces at the cameras or looking like a God while wearing PJs and getting on a plane with a stuffed toy in his hand. There seems to be no in between, but maybe Nico is just biased.</p><p>None of the articles are really useful. Most of them speculate where he’s going and who he’s with and whether any drama or scandals will ensue. A few are also just run downs of his outfits which aren’t helping either.</p><p>Nico finds a fan blog and clicks on it hoping that there’ll be an explanation there. To his luck there is. Except the explanation isn’t helping much either. The post is from three years ago.</p><p>‘<em>Leo’s annual Drop Out is cancelled this year. He said that it’s not happening and that he can’t afford to take time off right now. For anyone who lives under a brick and hasn’t been keeping up with the gang, The Lost Trio goes on this one to two-month holiday every year where they basically drop off the face of the earth. They hole themselves up and come back afterward looking a whole lot more alive than before. There are theories of where they go and who they go with, but nothing’s ever been confirmed. Tho it’s pretty obvious what Caleo is getting up to on those vacations if you know what I mean</em>.’ The post reads. Nico’s glad someone cleared it up for him but now he has to google what the fuck the Lost Trio is and who Caleo is and whether there’s anything else about the Drop Out he should know. Ten more minutes of googling (and missing what Nick and Leo are talking about which is a travesty as well) and Nico finally figures out why Leo, Piper and Jason keep being referred to as the lost trio. There are two explanations that seem to be the most common and Nico never thought he’d find them as funny as he does. He has to physically refrain himself from laughing in front of everyone.</p><p>‘<em>They always speak and behave like they don’t know what they want to do yet, like they’re afraid to settle down and like they feel lost in the world</em>.’ One explanation is. Nico finds it to be surprisingly accurate, if not badly phrased. It describes Nico’s perception of the three well, but somehow when reading it on a stan account it just feel cringy.</p><p>The other explanation is considerably funnier, and he chooses to focus on that one instead.</p><p>‘<em>They just get really fucking lost often. Like they have no sense of direction. Someone should rail them in and never let them go anywhere alone.</em>’ It says. Nico likes this one more.</p><p><em>Caleo</em>, it turns out is just a ship name which is ridiculous because why in Hades would a fake relationship need a ship name? In fact, why would anyone need a ship name in the first place? Can’t two people just be with each other without it being another person’s business? More importantly, are people really that blinded by the seemingly picture-perfect couple that they can’t realize Leo and Calypso are nothing more than good friends?</p><p>Nico puts down his phone, realizing in abject horror that he’s getting far too invested in this and there’s absolutely no reason for him to care about any of these things. His job is to make sure Leo doesn’t get murdered and to bring him to camp. Not become friends and not to become invested in the guy’s life.</p><p>Nick calls another break to play music and Nico almost immediately walks into the room. He has to know exactly what Leo is planning and why it involved dropping off the face of the earth for a month or so.</p><p>Leo smiles at him when he walks in and kicks out another chair so he can sit.</p><p>“So, when was I going to find out about your little holiday?” He asks and he can see Nick’s face going even brighter.</p><p>Leo shrugs, “When we actually agree when and where we go. And if I can keep myself out of rehab.”</p><p>The ease and deprecation with which he speaks about his rehab makes Nico uncomfortable in a way he’s never encountered for. He shoves the feeling down in favor of focusing on the task at hand.<br/>
“So exactly what are you planning then?”<br/>
“Nothing big, don’t worry man. You won’t even have to plan anything. You can hang at my house for all I care.”</p><p><em>No</em>! that’s not at all what Nico is supposed to do. He’s meant to be protecting Leo and letting him go on some unknown island in the middle of fuck knows where with no supervision is definitely not protecting him. Chiron would skin him alive if he lets Leo go.</p><p>“Or you can come along if you want. I don’t mind and I’m sure Piper would appreciate having more people there.” Leo says as though he’s reading Nico’s mind, which he really, really hopes he’s not. That would be awfully inconvenient.<br/>
Nico narrows his eyes at him, “You’re telling I’m not supposed to worry about you, someone who gets into notoriously much trouble, suddenly disappearing for a month?”</p><p>“Exactly. See it as a vacation for all of us.”</p><p>Nico shakes his head, vacation his ass. There is no way in Hades it’ll be a vacation, no matter whether Nico actually comes along or not. He’ll either spend two months stressing and worrying in an apartment in London (he’s decided he likes that one the most) or sitting at the beach somewhere and trying his hardest not to do anything stupid, like fall for the person he’s meant to be protecting on a purely professional level. Either way, it won’t end well. He can already see himself in Chiron’s office, his head mounted on the wall and his body discarded or burned at a pyre. It would be a sad way to go, Nico thinks. Surviving Manhattan just to get killed by Chiron for doing one (1) stupid thing. Yeah, no thank you, Nico would very much like to not have his head mounted on a wall as an example to every camper who dares mess up a quest. Although, it would fit awfully well with the whole Greek tragedy and being a child of the big three theme. Still, Nico isn’t keen on explaining to Hazel why he can’t make it home for her birthday.</p><p>“Alright. Whatever you say. Just tell me the details and I’ll set it up. Next time tell me beforehand. I don’t want to find out about these things in an interview.”</p><p>Leo nods and does a mock salute. Nico doesn’t brother sticking around longer. He has planning to do.</p><p>He leaves the recording studio and walks down the hall. He stops in walking only once he’s standing in front of the building, a cigarette in his hand and a frown plastered on his face, his phone resting between his shoulder and his head as he tries to light eh cigarette. Annabeth picks up the phone on the third ring and Nico spills his guts to her without thinking. He’s tired and she listens, and Nico feels as though if he stops talking for even a second, he’ll never be able to tell her the whole capacity of his frustration at the moment. She takes it in stride and by the time Leo walks out of the building Nico feels that he can look at Leo without wanting to mount him on a wall.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope this wasn't too all over the place I honestly don't even remember writing this<br/>Like I started writing, dyed my hair, had a meltdown (unrelated to the hair dying), and then finished this chapter at like midnight </p><p>So yeah, once the words leave my mind they're not my problem anymore so good luck lads</p><p>also thank you so much for all the sweet as heck comments I got on this I swear I almost got cavities reading them (in a good way) you guys are too nice and the comments made me super super happy and motivated to actually finish this chapter<br/>Come yell at me on social media I wanna talk to people<br/>Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/it-is-i-your-local-bitch</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Don't leave me wasting all alone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Leo Takes a deep breath and smooths down his trousers. The mirror in front of him feels like a look in another dimension. He’s watching himself move and turn but it doesn’t feel real. It never does. The suits and expensive clothes don’t feel the way Leo does. He doesn’t mind them, not really. It’s more that he’d rather wear things that feel more like himself. He’d liked a few of the outfits he’d worn over time. Back when it first started, he’d loved the outfits his stylists chose for him. He’d downright adored them, couldn’t wait to wear them and look like a million bucks. Back then Cindy had allowed him more colorful land fun suits. Ones that screamed personality, be it Leo’s or the designers. It had felt better anyway. The prints on the suits used to be busy and colorful, like Leo felt. He’d felt represented in the way he dressed. In colorful yellows and floral prints that screamed energy and obnoxiousness. Then he’d gotten older. He’d grown up and so had his style.</p><p>Cindy gave him more conservative suits, because <em>adults don’t dress like children, Leo</em>. She styled his hair more meticulously and had him cut it shorter because it was becoming too messy. She had him go to a cosmetician and had his teeth fixed. The braces had been adorable once upon a time, great even to accentuate the boyishness he’d possessed, but they hadn’t fixed his teeth entirely and Cindy had wanted them whiter. So, she’d had them fixed and now they feel eerily perfect. Just like everything else about him.</p><p>Leo barely even feels like he’s wearing his own skin anymore. With every new tattoo he gets Cindy nearly throws a fit and tells him which motives are acceptable and which aren’t and which she’ll be covering with make up for every event. She’d nearly fainted when Leo came home with his ears pierced. She’d instructed him to never wear them again, so he’d taken them out and holes had grown shut. Sometimes he runs his hands over them, wonders what would have happened if he’d told her no. If he’d enforced himself for once. He thinks nothing would have come of it anyway. He’d still be standing in front of a mirror, in a navy three-piece suit, the vest grey and the shirt black with a golden tie. He’d still have a metric ton of make up on his face and perfectly styled hair. He knows that if he turns around Piper will look much the same. They’re dressed to match. The stars of the movie, friends since childhood (complete crap Leo thinks, they met in high school) now starring in a romantic comedy together, with past relationship rumors blooming again. Of course, their styling teams had taken the chance to dress them up like a more expensive version of prom.</p><p>Not to mention that Calypso, Leo’s supposed girlfriend, would be attending as his date. They’d decked her out in a beautiful gown as well, but that wasn’t the main attraction of the night. The main attraction would be the two costars appearing in matching blue outfits and golden accents, never parting from each other. It’ll spark drama, Leo knows. It always does. There will be questions and people will wonder why they match when they’re not dating. Leo will laugh and shrug and jokingly press a kiss to Piper’s cheek. It’s a trained regiment. He could recite it in his sleep, and he thinks he maybe even has.</p><p>“I fucking hate this. Next time I’m wearing a suit as well.” Piper says behind him, turning around in her dress. “Do you know how sick that would be?”</p><p>“As if they’ll let you wear a suit. That’s not your image, Mrs. Romantic-Comedy-Starlet-Of-the-Century.”</p><p>She rolls her eyes at him and moves back to the tiny pedestal she’d been standing on. Around them stylists and designers are running around fixing their clothes, hair or anything else they can think of. Behind Leo, someone’s measuring his back and Leo can’t help but think that it’s a little late for adjustments.</p><p>“Like you’re any better. You’re a teenage heartthrob.”</p><p>“Don’t remind me.”</p><p>“Don’t worry, I think Jason is worse. He’s probably been the reason for many people’s wet dreams.”</p><p>“I don’t get it. He’s basic as heck. No actually, he’s a golden retriever in human form.”</p><p>Piper grins at him and moves accidentally. The tailor fixing the hemline of her dress scowls and glares up at her. Piper apologizes quietly.</p><p>“Did Lit say whether he’s coming?” Leo asks. He’s trying very hard not to flinch every time someone touches him. He’s had enough touching within the last two hours or so to last a lifetime.</p><p>“I have him listed as my date, so he better fucking come.”</p><p>“He’s not arriving with us?”</p><p>“He said he’d join us just before it starts, we’ll see how that goes.”  Piper rolls her eyes just thinking about it, “He said something about wanting to be dramatic.”</p><p>“Leave it to Lit to nearly ruin everything.”</p><p>“It’ll be fine. Don’t worry. And if he fucks up it’s not you they’ll be coming after.”</p><p>“Still, we’re sort of a package deal, so if they come after you, I’ll be down next.”</p><p>“God, Leo quit it. It’ll be fine.”</p><p>He doesn’t believe her, but what else is he meant to do. He can’t very well call Lit and tell him to stop being an idiomatically dramatic ass and to just arrive with them, can he? He could, actually but that would ruin the fun. As much as Leo is scared of his management team, he also really wants to see Lityerses’ entrance to a premier he wasn’t even technically invited to. Leo can already hear the organizers sighs of annoyance.</p><p>“Calypso is coming over in a bit so we can all go together.”</p><p>Piper stiffens momentarily then shrugs, “Cool. It’ll be good to see her again.”</p><p>“Pipes…”</p><p>“No, I mean it. I’m happy to see her again.”</p><p>Leo sighs and gestures at the people around them to leave. One by one they leave the room until only Leo and Piper are left. He moves closer to her until her can take her hands in his.”</p><p>“Pipes…”</p><p>“It’s fine. You guys are dating again, and I’ll have fun with Lityerses at the premier.”</p><p>“You know it’s not fine. <em>You know that</em>.”</p><p>Piper chuckles wetly, “Was it stupid of me to think I could forget about her?”</p><p>“No, no not at all. God, Pipes. Why didn’t you say anything?” he asks, “I would have told Jo that the whole thing is off.”</p><p>“No. It’s good for you guys. You need it, especially now. I couldn’t ruin that.”</p><p>“You wouldn’t have. I would have been fine. Piper, why won’t you let me help you?”</p><p>“I don’t need help.” She states, “Today will be great. You guys will be beautiful, and the tabloids will go crazy. We’ll go to the after party and we’ll have the time of our lives.”</p><p>“But-“</p><p>“No, Leo. It’ll be fine. I’ve been pushing it away for four years, I can do one more day.”</p><p>“You don’t have to. I can tell Jo that it’s off. You can take your chance-“</p><p>“There is no chance. Please just let me deal with it on my own, yeah?”</p><p>Leo swallows the lump in his throat and grips her hands tighter. They’re shaking and her rings stab into his own hand painfully. Still, he wouldn’t let go even if the world depended on it. Her eyes are glassy and suddenly Leo regrets ever thinking getting back with Calypso would be good.</p><p>“I’ll fix it, yeah? It’s gonna be fine. I promise.”</p><p>Piper laughs and Leo pulls her into a bone crushing hug. He doesn’t know what else to do. He’s not Jason. He’s not good at comforting people. Leo’s never been good at it, but he’d sooner die than let Piper cry over something he can fix. He’s Repair Boy, for fuck’s sake. He can fix this. Piper can and will be happy again, Leo will make sure of it.</p><p>He gives Piper one more reassuring smile and then steps away from her.</p><p>“I’ll be alright, I promise.” She whispers just loud enough for the both of them to hear. Leo hopes she means it. He doesn’t know what he’d do if she didn’t.</p><p>“Just promise me that you’ll talk to me if you feel alone?”</p><p>“I promise.”</p><p>He takes a deep breath and lets the designers know that they’re good to come back in. He doesn’t take his eyes off Piper the entire time for fear that if he does, she’ll break. He’s afraid of seeing her the way he sees himself.</p><p> “When is Nico coming by?” Piper asks in an attempt to diffuse the tension.</p><p>“He’s waiting at the venue with the rest of the team. We’ll meet him there.”</p><p>She nods and Leo can’t bring himself to say anything else. He should be elated and excited for today yet somehow, he feels like it’s Sunday like any other. Except that on this particular Sunday, Leo will be sitting in a movie theatre watching a movie he’s starring in for the first time in front of an audience. So yeah, just like any other day.</p><p>Piper makes a few jokes here and there, but Leo doesn’t feel like responding. He’d rather be sitting in his bed watching Queer Eye right now. He still has to catch up on a few episodes anyway.</p><p> </p><p>Harrison texts Leo at around half an hour before the red carpet starts. Leo breaths deeply and Piper takes his hand then they’re out of the door and in the car before Leo has time to back out. Piper holds his hand throughout the entire drive. They stop to pick up Calypso. She sits with them and Leo knows that Piper doesn’t like it. He knows that she’d rather be anywhere else in the world right now. At least they have that in common.</p><p>Calypso smiles and greets her and asks a few mundane questions but most of the ride to the venue is spent in silence. Leo and she had spoken on the phone earlier, there was nothing new to discuss. She does hug both of them in greeting though. But that’s the extent of it really.</p><p>The car stops at the end of the line of cars waiting to stand in front of the red carpet. Piper squeezes Leo’s hand tighter and Calypso reaches for the other one.</p><p>“It’s gonna be great. You both did amazingly.” She tells them. Leo smiles weakly at her. Piper only nods.</p><p>“Better get ready then.”</p><p>The three of them sit on the edge of their seats all the way to the front of the line and even when only one car is left before they get to exit, Leo feels like he must pass out. Jason sends him a text a few seconds before Leo, Piper and Calypso exit the car and get on the red carpet, telling him that he’s in the car behind them and that Reyna is with him.</p><p>“Let’s get it guys.” Leo mumbles and watches as a valet opens the door for them. Leo steps out first and then helps both Piper and Calypso out of the car. Piper looks around the area in a frenzy. Leo follows suit, scanning the area for Lityerses. Just as Leo thinks they can’t stand at the beginning of the carpet anymore Lityerses pops out from the side of the venue. He joins the three of them with a bright grin. For once in his life, he’s even wearing a suit. He has a blue tie with golden accents. It goes with Piper’s dress. It’s cute.</p><p>“Lit you fucking idiot! You should’ve just come with us.” Piper whisper yells as they make their way down the red carpet, standing occasionally to let people take pictures.</p><p>“Where’s the fun in that though?” He grins.</p><p>Piper very nearly decks him, and Leo would’ve paid money to see that. <em>Especially</em> on the red carpet. They keep arguing quietly, grinning at the cameras the entire time. It’s a little bit impressive actually.</p><p> </p><p>“Did I do something to Piper?” Calypso asks Leo as the two of them stand in front of a row of camera’s and photographers. Leo has his arm around her waist, her hand resting on his. It’s purely for show.</p><p>“Hm? Why?”</p><p>“She’s ignoring me. She wouldn’t even speak to me in the car earlier!”</p><p>Leo shrugs, careful not to drop the smile, “Nah. She’s just a little exhausted. She’ll come around.”</p><p>“Are you sure?” Calypso sounds more than a bit worried, “I don’t want her to hate me. Maybe it’s because I didn’t call or text while I was on tour. Do you think it’s that?”</p><p>“No, she didn’t care about that. If she’d wanted you to reach out hat badly, she would’ve texted you first. She’s just tired. There’s been a lot going on.”</p><p>“You’re keeping something from me.” Calypso says, almost glaring at him but not quite. She would never do that on the red carpet. People would make assumptions.</p><p>He smiles wider and tightens his grip around her waist in warning, “Interviewer coming. Get your in-love face on.”</p><p>Calypso rolls her eyes but doesn’t stop the smile crawling up her face. Leo knows that he’s hiding something from Calypso, and he knows that she knows but it’s not his secret to tell. If Piper wants to think that her feelings aren’t reciprocated, then she can do that. Leo won’t go spilling her secrets.</p><p>“Leo, Calypso, it’s fantastic to see you guys.” The interviewer, Becky, her name tag reads greets them. Leo and Calypso stop in front of her. She’s taller than both of them with her heels. If it weren’t for the situation Leo would be miffed about it. Screw it, he’s actually miffed. There’s no reason for anyone to be that tall. Calypso seems to have a similar thought process with the way she’s eyeing Becky. Or maybe she’s checking Becky out. That could be as well. It’s hard to tell with Calypso. Leo doesn’t really care either way.</p><p>“How are you feeling? Are you excited to see the movie?” Becky asks Leo, pointedly not looking at Calypso. She’s only the date after all.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, I’m pretty excited. I haven’t seen it yet, so I think it’s going to be fun, yeah.” He’s never really been good at articulating his thoughts. He wishes he could still go to these events with Piper as his date or with Jason standing next to him to speak when Leo doesn’t think he can.</p><p>“And has Calypso seen it yet? Did she like it?”</p><p>Leo squeezes Calypso tighter to keep her from lunging at the Interviewer. His smile stretches even further from real.</p><p>“I don’t know. Have you seen it, love?” He turns to Calypso who has a similarly fake smile on her face.</p><p>“I have, yeah. It was fantastic. I loved every minute of it and Piper and Leo did a fantastic job. I’m very proud of them. I think they’ve come a long way with it and I’m glad to be here for the both of them.” Her answer is so much more composed than Leo’s had been and he’s slightly jealous at her ability to speak so well.</p><p>“Are you jealous of Piper at all? She and Leo were getting awfully close in that movie.”</p><p>Calypso laughs forcedly, barely keeping herself from rolling her eyes. Leo can share the sentiment. He knows she’s more jealous of Leo for making out with Piper and romancing her in the movie than she is of Piper for kissing her PR boyfriend. If it had been up to Calypso, she'd probably have played Leo's part just to get the chance to kiss Piper. </p><p>“No, I trust the two of them. Besides, it’s just a movie. I didn’t think much of it.”</p><p>“So, you didn’t mind the two of them kissing so much? Not even the steamy scenes?”</p><p>“No, like I said. They’re two adults and I trust that Leo would never hurt me like that.”</p><p>Calypso gives the lady one last tightlipped smile and begins steering Leo away from her and to the next interviewer. She doesn’t even grace Becky with a goodbye or thank you.</p><p>They go through a few more interviews, most of them pretty boring and a few halfway offensive but toward the end Leo has gotten back into it and he’s answering questions like a media trained chipmunk with his pretty girlfriend on his arm. Calypso makes snarky comments the entire time and Leo finds it increasingly hard to not laugh loudly in front of everyone. She’s just too damn funny for her own good.</p><p>Jason and Reyna join them a few minutes before the actual Premier starts. Jason looks absolutely ecstatic at being there and even Reyna looks happy. It’s a rare look. Even rarer when it’s directed at Leo. Back when they’d first met Reyna had damn near wanted to kill Leo and honestly, Leo couldn’t blame her. He’d been an insufferable teenager who’d started getting rich  faster than he'd had any right to and hated working out. Jason had dragged him to his training sessions with Reyna and Leo had, predictably, failed at nearly everything. There had been no teaching him no matter how hard Reyna tried.</p><p>“Jace! My man, you came.” Leo greets him, “And Reyna. You look great.”</p><p>She nods but doesn’t take his outstretched hand, “I’m proud of you. You did very well.” She tells him. Leo’s heart swells and he feels on top of the world.</p><p>“Dude, the movie is fantastic. I can’t wait for you to see it.” Jason tells Leo when they’re a little off to the side. Calypso and Reyna have gone off to get champagne and catch up leaving only Jason and Leo.</p><p>“Thanks, man. This is the last time I’m ever doing a romantic comedy.”</p><p>“Why? You were great.”</p><p>“Making out with your best friend is just weird dude. Plus, romcoms aren’t funny. They say they are but they’re really just cringy and embarrassing.”</p><p>“That’s a lot of wisdom you got there.”</p><p>“Pipes and I watched like fifty romcoms to prepare for our roles.”</p><p>Jason only barely holds in his laughter. Leo glares at him.</p><p>“Where’s your assistant? Shouldn’t he be here somewhere?” Jason asks when he calms down, “The movie is starting soon so…”</p><p>Right. Yeah. Nico should be here somewhere. Along with the rest of Leo’s team. Leo stands in his tiptoes, doing his best not to spill the flute of champagne he got earlier, and looks around the room. He’s too short to see anything properly but the hope of seeing a black mop of hair still keeps him going. Jason joins him in looking around soon enough as well. Jason pats his shoulder twice and points across the room. Leo can’t see but he assumes that Jason, being tall and all that, must have seen something. He grabs Jason’s hand and abandons his champagne flute on a tray beside them.</p><p>“Neeks! I see you decided to join us today!” Leo greets as they arrive. He looks Nico up and down and <em>fuck</em>. Okay. He hadn’t expected that. He really, really hadn’t expected Nico, good old Nico with the ripped jeans who drowns in gabardine, to look so good in a well fitted suit. Fair enough, the suit isn’t <em>perfectly</em> fitted and probably store bought but it looks good. Fucking amazing actually. It’s a normal black suit with a white shirt and black tie but it makes Nico look refined and handsome. His hair is tied up into a bun, with his bangs escaping no matter how many times Nico tugs them behind his ear.</p><p>It's not like Leo hadn’t known that Nico is handsome before. Of course, he knew. He would have had to been blind not to notice. But it’s a whole different thing to have it on display this way. Nico isn’t handsome in the traditional sense, Leo decides. If Nico walked into a casting, he’d be sent home just like every other average looking person. But he’s intriguing. He’s pale like your grandmother’s finest china with blue veins making beautifully haunting paintings all over his skins. His frekles make constellations that Leo could honestly spend hours tracing and watching. He wonders how they change when Nico smiles. Whether his eyes crinkle or whether he has dimples. Nico looks like someone who could have dimples. Or maybe just one. It would fit. Nico is so blindingly asymmetrical, it’s almost symmetrical again. His hair is a mess no matter how much hairspray and gel he applies, and his eyes look tired even though he’s wearing concealer. Nico looks like he hasn’t slept since 1989 and Leo is here for it. He wants to hold his hand and lie with him until the early morning, too tired to sleep but and too awake to get up. He wants to exist simply in the same space as Nico does. And whoa. That’s new. That’s… not something Leo has considered before. He’s thought about having sex with people or even thought about short term relationships. But never this. Never has he looked at someone and wanted to simply be and exist within proximity of them.</p><p>Leo feels his chest tighten at the realization and suddenly all he wants to do is leave and sit in his room and figure it all out. He wants to be alone. But he’s not. He’s on a red carpet in front of hundreds of people, many of whom have cameras. The event is being broadcast and Leo knows that his fans will pick up on anything. Any shift in behavior or emotion. For once in his life, Leo wishes he were just a regular person. Just anyone else going to a nine to five job and having stupid crushes on his coworkers that go away eventually. Instead he’s visible 24/7 ready to be scrutinized and judged. Leo thinks he really needs the drop out. Otherwise he might combust.</p><p>“You gonna watch the movie with us?” Leo clears his throat in an attempt to seem more composed than he feels.</p><p>“Do I have a choice?” Nico asks.</p><p>“Of course, you do. You can either stand here all night and dodge drunk superstars who think they’re hot shit and will probably try to hit on you, or you can come inside with us, sit in a perfect seat, have a glass of champagne and enjoy a movie. Your choice.”</p><p>“That’s not much of a choice.”</p><p>“It is. It’s completely up to you.” Leo smiles at him cheekily.</p><p>Nico rolls his eyes and shoves his hands in his pockets, “Where are we sitting?”</p><p>Leo lights up like a Christmas tree and throws his arm around Nico. He doesn’t miss the flinch and the fact that Nico stiffens, he’s not stupid. But he decides that if Nico’s really that uncomfortable he can push Leo away. It’s not like Leo will kill him for it or anything.</p><p>He could have gone into the screening earlier, any time really, he’d just been putting it off the past few minutes. He really hadn’t wanted to go in. Calypso was excited the whole time, she always was, but she’d smiled and nodded when Leo had asked her not to go in yet. Sometimes he thinks he’d go insane if it weren’t for Calypso, Jason and Piper (and on occasion also Reyna).  </p><p>Nico sighs next to him and Leo frowns.</p><p>“You alright there, Neeks?” He whispers as they enter the theatre.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah. Just a lot of people around. Not a big fan.”</p><p>Leo tightens his arm instinctively, “Well, don’t worry. When the lights go out no one cares anymore. Until then just enjoy evening.”</p><p>“I don’t think I can do that.” Nico mumbles, “How do you do this?”</p><p>“I think of the fact that after this event I can go home, lay in my bed and not get up for at least another twelve hours.”</p><p>“That really works?”</p><p>Nico sees right through him so Leo shakes his head, “No.”</p><p>“Then what does?”</p><p>“I don’t know. Let me know when you figure it out. I’d love to know.”</p><p>Nico stares at him in stunned silence and Leo feels satisfied. He may not have calmed Nico down, but at least he’s distracted now. Better than being on the verge of a panic attack. Always better than that. He does not need Nico to stop breathing at a red-carpet event.</p><p>Leo lets go of Nico when they near the bottom of the theatre where more cameras are set up. He misses the pained look Nico sends him. Leo wraps one arm around Calypso, and she places her hand on his around her waist. It’s a practiced move and the moment the movie starts their hands will be back to themselves. The longer they sit in their seats the more miserable Nico looks. He’s slumped in his seat staring at the live feed of the red-carpet. Leo doesn’t think he’s paying attention to what the people are saying. He looks like he’s close to having a meltdown. Leo thinks that wouldn’t be good press.</p><p>He takes a grounding breath and slips his hand over the arms rest to stop at Nico’s wrist. It’s cold to the touch and Leo almost retaliates. Just almost though. He wills himself to keep his hand on the deathly cold skin and squeezes it tightly. Nico whips his head around, first to look at Leo then at where their hands are connected. He has a questioning look on his face. It’s cute.</p><p>“You looked like you needed a reminder that you’re not alone in here.” Leo whispers, barely even loud enough for the both of them to hear. The others in the theatre are blissfully unaware of the exchange.</p><p>“You didn’t have to.”</p><p>Leo squeezes his wrist again, “I know.”</p><p>Nico opens his mouth to say something else when the live feed stops, and Leo stands up. Piper stands form her seat as well.</p><p>“I’ll only be a minute, don’t go crazy without me.” Leo sends Nico a wink and makes his way down to the front of the theatre. Piper is already waiting for him, a friendly smile plastered on her face. She has her hands clasped in front of her, but Leo knows she’s nervous. Being beautiful and smart does not exempt her from being insecure. Leo stands next to her and places his hand on her back. She immediately relaxes into him.</p><p>The director of the movie says a whole lot of shit that nobody gives a flying fuck about and Leo is having a hard time listening. Piper has by now placed her hand on Leo’s lower back and is now (successfully) trying to tickle Leo. She has a mean smile plastered on her face and she nods along to everything the director says and occasionally makes her own comments. Leo hates her.</p><p>He tries to distract himself by looking for Nico in the theatre. He’s still sitting where he was before, looking about as miserable as a single person can. Leo regrets forcing Nico into the movie theatre. He should have just let him stay outside with the rest of the team. But no. Leo had to let his feelings get in the way. His inner teenager had longed for a movie theater date, like everyone used to do with their high-school sweethearts, except Leo never had one. He’d longed for a childhood he’d lost long ago and now he’s just making Nico feel miserable by dragging him into it.</p><p>He forces himself to look away and focus on what Piper is saying. She squeezes his back and hands him the microphone.</p><p>He tries not to let his voice crack, “I don’t have much to add, so I hope you all enjoy the movie. It meant a lot to me to work with Piper on a blockbuster like this. We had loads of fun making it.” He announces trying desperately not to look to where Nico is sitting, “So, uh, yeah. Thank you all for coming. Have fun!”</p><p>The theatre cheers, and Leo forces a smile on his face. He doesn’t think he could make it genuine even if he tried. Piper walks him back to their seats. He finds the empty. Calypso is still there, a gentle smile on her face. Nico is gone. Leo should have known. He should have known that trying to force Nico to stay would be stupid.</p><p>“He went out to get some air.” Calypso tells him. Leo nods and lets her drag him into the seat. He doesn’t protest when Calypso rests her head on Leo’s shoulder, and he doesn’t say anything when Jason grabs his hand in the middle of the movie squeezing it tightly.</p><p>He tries not to cringe when he watches himself kiss Piper on the movie screen in a cliché romantic scene that has Jason and Calypso fake gagging and Piper wheezing in her seat.</p><p>At the end of the movie they cheer. They all do. It was a good movie, there’s no questions. Piper and Leo had given it their all and the cast and crew did a fantastic job. It’s not their fault Leo can’t force himself to make the applause feel genuine. It’s not their fault that Leo hates watching himself kiss someone on a screen when he’d much rather be kissing someone else right now. He doesn’t blame them. It doesn’t make him feel any better though. He hopes no one notices. The public is probably too caught up in his date or Piper and his matching outfits or whatever else they come up with.</p><p>They leave the theatre and Leo bails on the after party. Calypso and Piper go together, and Jason eventually convinces Reyna to go as well. Leo has Harrison drive him back to his flat. He thinks about calling Nico to apologize for dragging him into it but eventually decides against it. He wants to be alone right now. Leo thinks that if he calls Nico now, he’ll end up asking something stupid. Maybe even ask Nico on a date. He doesn’t think he could deal with the fallout of that.</p><p>His phone buzzes with texts from friends in the industry congratulating him on the movie and a few Instagram mentions. He doesn’t even bother checking twitter. He knows it will be full of tweets and mentions that he can’t be bothered to sift through. He feels bad sometimes. He thinks that if he was a good person, he’d be responding to all of them. Interacting with his fans and letting them know that he hears, listens and appreciates all of them. But he doesn’t. He’s a coward too afraid to face to possibility of backlash.</p><p>He remembers when his very first proper, block buster movie came out. It was his first movie without Piper and the first time he’d had a proper leading role. So afraid of hate and disapproval and so used to it at the same time, he’d closed his eyes and put his hands over his ears to shun out the world. He’d been afraid to hear bad feedback, so he’d refused to hear any feedback at all. He’d been so caught up in himself and the familiarity of hatred and insecurities he’d refused to listen. Refused to listen so much he’d refused to listen to the love. He’d ignored the hate and in turn become oblivious and unbelieving of the love and appreciation he’d received. Leo thinks, there’s no fixing it anymore. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to go back to being indifferent to the world.</p><p>He lets himself into his flat and tries not to be disappointed when he doesn’t find Nico sitting at his kitchen counter. He shakes his head and drops his key in the bowl by the door, toes off his shoes and trudges up to his bedroom. The suit feels like armor and when he takes it off, he feels too vulnerable.</p><p>He looks at himself in the mirror and hates what he sees. He sees his ribs and his thin legs, and his tiny bony wrists and he hates it. He doesn’t understand the people who idolize him. The ones who make fan accounts with close ups of him shirtless or in tight jeans. He never understood the interest they took in him. He has moles and scars all over his body and his stylists complain every time he has a photo shoot because they have to cover it up. The tattoos he keeps getting are messy and unorganized and a few of them he regrets. He thinks about getting them removed sometimes. He always decides not to. There’s a memory attached to them and Leo’s not sure he’s ready to let it go, even if it’s a bad one.</p><p>He remembers when he first got a tweet saying that he was someone’s sexual awakening. It’d been a joke and it’d been followed by a lot of comments agreeing and raving over him. Leo had felt ecstatic and showed it to Piper and Jason. They’d laughed with him. He’d retweeted it instantly attaching ‘Always happy to be helpful’ as a comment. His management team had called him almost immediately. He’d been a stupid eighteen-year-old who’d thought that he was free to be whoever he wanted. His management team had wanted to ensure that there was absolutely no way he could in any capacity be anything but straight, so they’d had him in the next day and had him sign a contract preventing him from coming out. It didn't forbid coming out, technically, as Jo had informed Leo. More that he was to not speak about certain things, and part of that had been his sexuality. For better PR, she'd claimed. He’d been eighteen and stupid and willing to sign anything if it meant moving up in the world. Besides, Piper signed the same contract. He’d assumed that if Piper was doing it, it couldn’t be so bad. Now he’s twenty-two and regretting every single decision he’s made in his life. He’ll never get those years of hating himself and thinking that something was wrong with him back and he hates that it was all his own doing. He could have said no. He could have done what his mum always wanted him to. He could have insisted on being himself and lived his life a free man. Instead he’d been too caught up in the prospect of fame and fortune to think much about what his mum would think other than knowing she’d be proud of him. Now he’s not even sure of that anymore. He thinks if she were here, she’d be disappointed and sad. Maybe even a little angry.</p><p>The bed feels cold and Leo wishes he wasn’t alone. To have someone lay next to him, warm body to hold and cling on to in moments of panic. He starts an Instagram live instead. It’s the only way he knows how to be close to people anymore. His fans love him, he knows. He clings on to that love in moments where he’d rather be dead.</p><p>The chat fills with greetings and Leo forces himself to smile. He talks about everything and nothing and answers questions until he can't physically stop himself from crying and ends the live. He stares at his ceiling until he falls asleep, a heavy heart and an empty feeling in his hand where Nico's wrist had been just a few hours before. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi, yes, hello, it's me again. This one turned out to be a lot more angsty than I intended so I guess sorry about that lmao I didn't mean to.<br/>I promise, I really really do, the plot will pick up soon and we'll get into more demigod business soon pinky promise</p><p>ALSO </p><p>The first chapter of the Piper/calypso story is now up and you can find it here https://archiveofourown.org/works/25106521/chapters/60824140</p><p>I've already started working on the Jeyna one so look out for that when I post it</p><p>Anyway, thanks for the comments kudos and love this story is getting love you lads lots and stay safe and hydrate and wear a mask my loves</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Mind over Matter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm back this time with a very busy chapter which has, as customary, not been beta'd in any way shape or form but at least it's formatted so that's something</p>
<p>good luck with this</p>
<p>Also I FINALLY posted the first chapter of the Jeyna fic. it's been added to the series and can also be found at https://archiveofourown.org/works/25454161/chapters/61739050</p>
<p>so ya you're welcome</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nico knows from the moment he feels Leo’s hand on his wrist that he’s fucked. He’s completely and utterly fucked in every sense of the word. You see, he hadn’t been expecting Leo’s hand on his. It shouldn’t be a big deal, it really, really shouldn’t be. Except, Nico’s kind of touch starved and he’s craving any sense of intimacy Leo is willing to give him. He knows that he shouldn’t be so desperate for approval and maybe even love but he can’t help himself. Not when he’s spent years alone, never touching or even breathing near anyone and now Leo’s within reach. Pretty, perfect Leo who could probably ask Nico to fuck right here right now in the middle of the red carpet and Nico would ask him whether TMZ has a good camera angle. He’s that desperate. And okay, it would all be fine and good if it weren’t for Leo fucking Valdez. Leo, who had to, for some Gods’ forsaken reason, show up in a three-piece suit that suddenly made Nico understand all those teenagers tweeting about Leo’s appearance and the ridiculous amounts of fan-cams and paparazzi photos online. If Nico’s being honest with himself, which he’s not because that would mean confronting his feelings, he’d probably be one of them if he’d had a normal childhood.</p>
<p>Not just that though, Leo’s actually fun to be around. Like, what the fuck. Nico had taken this job expecting a hefty pay cheque, a sick house to live in and an arrogant employer who couldn’t even be bothered to learn Nico’s name. He’d gotten the opposite. Sure, there were cool apartments and the pay cheque was indeed hefty, but Leo is <em>nice</em>. He’s genuinely nice on more levels than Nico cares to admit. He’d allowed Nico to get to know him and even asked him to hang out. Which again, what the fuck.</p>
<p>“You’re from camp, aren’t you?” Calypso whispers next to him. Nico whips his head around to her faster than he ever imagined he could.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“Chiron sent you. You’re from camp. You want to bring Leo there.”</p>
<p>Nico’s brows furrow and he’s close to impaling her with his sword and calling her a monster.</p>
<p>“How do you know about that?”</p>
<p>“Tell him no. We’re not letting Leo go there. We’ve said it before.” Calypso says, turning back to look back to the front, “Tell Chiron to leave us alone.”</p>
<p>She doesn’t offer any more explanation. Then it clicks for Nico. She’s fucking Calypso. Nico had assumed, when Leo told him about her, that she was just some singer with a fable for Greek mythology who’d picked Calypso as her stage name and insisted that everyone call her that. Except that’s not at all what she is. He’d never bothered googling her, because, in all honesty he’d been too lazy of her to bother knowing more than necessary about her.</p>
<p>She’s Calypso. Calypso from the myths, the one Percy saved from Ogygia. The actual, honest to the Gods, Calypso. The one who came to camp for a few days just to tell both the hunters of Artemis and Chiron to fuck off and that she was done with the Gods and their stupid game only to never be heard from again. That, Calypso. The very same one that Nico had resented for months because Percy had liked her.</p>
<p>Which raised a few questions for Nico. Like, for instance, does Leo know? He must know, Calypso just said so. What is she talking about concerning Chiron? Has Leo been at camp before? Did Chiron try this before?</p>
<p>Nico’s head is swarming with thoughts and questions. Gods this is all sorts of messed up. Nico’s not sure where one thing begins and the other one ends.</p>
<p>He’s not even supposed to know about Calypso. Chiron had made sure that the only ones at camp who knew she’d ever been there, or even really existed, were Percy and Annabeth. Except, Percy is horrible at keeping things to himself especially if he’s had one to many pints and is feeling heartbroken over not being able to see Annabeth for a few weeks. So, he’d let it slip to Nico one day when they were out for drinks. Nico hadn’t thought much of it. He’d figured it was good that the Gods kept their promise and that was that.</p>
<p>But now Leo’s in the game. Nico wants to know why Calypso chose to become famous instead of just laying low and living her life and he wants to know exactly why she chose to date Leo. Nico knows he should be concerned about the demigod aspects of it all right now, but deep, deep down a small selfish part of himself wants to know whether Leo feels anything for her. He just can’t help himself.</p>
<p>Next to him, Calypso has a proud smile on her face as she watches Leo stand in front of the big screen, while Piper and the director of the movie speak. Nico can still feel the heat of Leo’s hand around his wrist and he really wants it to be back.</p>
<p>Then Piper makes a joke about how awkward it was to kiss her best friend, practically brother at this point and Nico remembers that he’s about to watch a romcom starring the guy Nico’s starting to have feelings for and said guy’s best friend. There is no way, absolutely <em>no way</em>, that Nico can watch two plus hours of Leo romancing someone else. And fuck where did that come from? Nico shouldn’t be feeling this way. Leo’s his employer and, even more importantly, his quest. Not someone to go after. Leo is virtually the most unattainable person in the world right now and if Nico lets himself fall then there’s no going back. He can already feel his heart breaking.</p>
<p>He can’t stay. He can’t sit in the cinema and pretend everything is fine when in reality everything just got so much more complicated.</p>
<p>He takes a shaky breath and thanks the Gods that the theatre is mostly empty, and no one is paying attention to him. He conjures the image of camp-half-blood in his mind, thinks of the strawberry field and the baby blue big house before the world around him starts slipping away and he falls into the nothingness of the shadows beneath him. The last thing he sees is a knowing smile on Calypso’s face and he wonders momentarily what else she knows.</p>
<p>Then he feels the wooden floorboards of the big house underneath his feet and the warmth from the hearth around him. His vision is blurry, and he sees spots, but he wills himself to stand still and look around. He’s thankful that he’s been practicing lately, otherwise a travel from London to Camp would have surely made him pass out for at least a week straight. Right now, he feels like throwing up and his hands and feet are numb, but he thinks he can fight through it, if it means getting his questions answered.</p>
<p>The sun is shining, and it takes Nico a few seconds to adjust to the sudden change in brightness. He can hear campers yelling and practicing outside and Nico remembers that it’s around noon and not evening. He still feels like it’s seven PM and he can slowly feel the champagne he drank earlier set in. He does his hardest to keep his footing.</p>
<p>Chiron is sitting at his desk, doing paperwork or whatever it is he does when he’s not out telling campers to run laps. Nico’s frown deepens and he stalks toward the desk, his feet hitting the floor heavily. Chiron looks up when he hears the first step being taken and does a double take at Nico’s appearance.</p>
<p>“Nico, what in the Gods names’ are you doing here?” Chiron accuses, “Aren’t you meant to be at a premier, <em>protecting Leo</em>?”</p>
<p>“I have some questions you need to answer right now.” Nico spits.</p>
<p>“And what would those be? I believe I made the quest clear when I gave it to you.”</p>
<p>“You did. But did you intend on telling me that the Calypso currently hanging off of Leo’s arm is in fact the Calypso from Ogygia? You ever think that maybe that shit could be important?”</p>
<p>“Now, there’s no need for language like that-“</p>
<p>“Yes, there fucking is! Chiron, I don’t know if you noticed but that makes a massive fucking difference.” Nico nearly yells, “She’s the daughter of Atlas! She’s a fucking Titan, Chiron! Who knows what she told Leo. And even if she didn’t tell him shit, it still makes a difference.”</p>
<p>“It hardly does. What she is has no impact on Leo whatsoever.”</p>
<p>“Except how it does. Did you not think that half-bloods attract half-bloods? Did it never occur to you that she might seek out people that are like her?” Nico takes a step back and runs a hand through his hair, “For fuck’s sake, from what I’ve seen Leo’s not even the only demigod. He’s surrounded by them. Everywhere I go, I see people that feel inherently godly.”</p>
<p>“Nico. Your quest is to bring home Leo safely. Nothing else nothing more.”</p>
<p>“So, you admit that you knew then? You admit that you knew Calypso was there?”</p>
<p>“What difference does it make whether I knew or not?”</p>
<p>“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because Calypso being there instantly explains why Leo survived till 22? She’s strong, monsters won’t go near her. If she’s around him constantly, which she is mind you, then he’ll be safe. There’s no fucking reason for me to bring him to camp.”</p>
<p>“Nico…”</p>
<p>“No. Tell me why you sent me. Tell my right fucking now why you sent me to bring him here if you knew that he’s safe.”</p>
<p>Chiron grows quiet. He puts down his pen and rests his head in his hands, heaving a deep sigh. The longer he stays silent, the more Nico grows afraid of what he’ll say.</p>
<p>When he does answer, Nico’s not sure he really did want that answer after all.</p>
<p>“I knew that he’s surrounded by demigods. You were right in figuring out that same attracts same.” Chiron begins, “Josephine, his manager, she’s one of them as well. As is her wife. Over the years she’s built a supposed safe place for demigods in her agency. She seeks them out. She’s protective of them. I had a disagreement with her once. I asked her to bring her demigods here, so they could be safe from danger. She disagreed. She claimed they were safe already and that camp would put them in more danger than she was comfortable with. That camp only prevents demigods from living their life to the fullest. She said that the only way I’d ever get her to bring them here was over her dead body.”</p>
<p>Nico stares at him in silence, “So, what? you were angry that there are more places for demigods than just this one camp?”</p>
<p>“No, you misunderstand. I am glad that her agency exists. I simply believe that they would be safer here. After Manhattan we have so few left, I don’t think it’s safe for them to be roaming about without protection. Without knowing how to defend themselves.”</p>
<p>“So you thought that if I could convince Leo to come, you’d have him without having to go through Jo?”</p>
<p>“It’s not like that. I want them to be safe. I thought that if Leo came, so would the others. They could learn to defend themselves, at least over the summer.”</p>
<p>“If you say, others, who exactly do you mean?”</p>
<p>Chiron sighs and reaches into his file cabinet pulling out a long sheet of paper, “There are many of them. I figured if only a few would come at first, then Jo would see that it’s good.” He tells Nico, “The first few I found other than Leo, were Piper McLean, Jason Grace, Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano and Lityerses.”</p>
<p>“I’m assuming when you say Lityerses you don’t just mean some dude who chose that as a pseudonym, do you?”</p>
<p>Chiron shakes his head, “No, unfortunately not. I mean the Lityerses, son of king Midas and brother of Zoe. The one killed by Hercules all those years ago.”</p>
<p>“Chiron this so fucked up on so many levels, I don’t even know where to start.” Nico says, “You should have told me this. All of it.”</p>
<p>“I was sure you would refuse if I did.”</p>
<p>“Is there anything else that I should be aware of? For real this time?”</p>
<p>Chiron stays quiet just long enough for Nico to grow afraid of what he might say, then answers, “No. That’s all.”</p>
<p>“I swear to the Gods, if find out that there’s anything else…”</p>
<p>“There isn’t.”</p>
<p>Nico isn’t foolish enough to believe that Chiron’s telling the truth. He’s also not stupid enough to have him swear on the river Styx. It only ever ends in bloodshed.</p>
<p>Nico glares at Chiron one last time, grabs the list of demigods from the desk and then turns to leave.</p>
<p>“I won’t forgive you for this, Chiron. Just know that.”</p>
<p>“I won’t forget.”</p>
<p>Nico shakes his head and bangs the door shut behind him. He’s standing out on the patio looking out over camp. He immediately darts to the Aphrodite cabin to find Silena.</p>
<p>Fuck, he didn’t even ask Chiron about what Calypso said. If the argument was with Jo, then why did Calypso know about it? Surely Jo wouldn’t have told them. And more importantly, Nico needs to know whether Leo and the others know that they’re demigods. Because if they don’t it just complicates things.</p>
<p>Leave us alone, Calypso had said. Not me, not Jo, but us. Nico’s not sure how many there truly are. More importantly, he’s not sure anymore whether he wants to bring Leo to camp. For the Gods’ sake, Nico had hated camp at first. He’d felt safer outside of it, living his life as best as he could. Wasting away in an old McDonald’s or spending the summer in an arcade or movie theatre hiding from monsters. Camp had made the reality that there were monsters out to get him a lot more real than the real world did. Does he really want to force Leo into that? Nico’s not sure he likes the answer his mind comes up with.</p>
<p>Silena spots him as he approaches the cabin, a furious look on his face.</p>
<p>“Nico? I thought you were down in London for the premier?” She asks but Nico doesn’t let her finish. She grabs her hand begins dragging her away into the forest where he’s sure no one will listen.</p>
<p>“Are you alright? You’re freaking me out.”</p>
<p>“Chiron is keeping something from me.” He tells her when they stop in front of Zeus’ Fist.</p>
<p>“Come again?”</p>
<p>“Chiron won’t tell me what’s really going on and it’s messing with my quest.”</p>
<p>“Why would he keep anything from you? Isn’t it in his best interest to have the quest go smoothly.”<br/>
Nico’s frown deepens, “I don’t know. I’m gonna tell you what happened, but you cannot under any circumstances tell anyone else about this. I need you to keep this absolutely secret.”<br/>
“Yeah, of course. Anything to help the quest.”<br/>
Nico takes a deep breath and tells her everything. About Calypso, about the supposed argument with Jo and about Leo possibly knowing about his status, even about the other demigods there. Silena’s brows furrow as she goes on and by the end of it she has a deep frown on her face. It almost rivals Nico’s own. Just almost thought.</p>
<p>“I don’t understand, why is he going after Leo if he already refused?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know either.” Nico mutters, “What bothers me more is that Calypso said Chiron had talked to them, not to Jo, but to them. She told me to tell Chiron to leave them alone.”</p>
<p>“Implying that he’s asked more than once, and likely didn’t stop at asking Jo.” Silena fills in for him.</p>
<p>“It would explain the piles of knowledge he has on him.”</p>
<p>“It does seem odd. I’ve never seen Chiron care this much about one single demigod. Even during the war. I don’t like this. Not one bit.”</p>
<p>“Neither do I.” Nico says, “What if it’s something special about Leo and the others? Like what if Chiron knows something we don’t?”</p>
<p>“But why would he keep that from you? Wouldn’t it be better if you knew everything?”</p>
<p>“That’s what I don’t get either. Chiron said that he accepts that Jo doesn’t want Leo at camp but then sends me to get him? There’s something wrong here.”</p>
<p>Silena sighs and sits down at the foot of the rock, “I really don’t know how to help you. I really, really do, but I just don’t know how. I can’t do anything from camp.”</p>
<p>Nico sits next to her and tries to think.</p>
<p>“What if you work for Leo as well?”</p>
<p>“Pardon?”</p>
<p>Nico sits up straighter, looking right at her, “What if we tell Chiron that I can’t do it on my own. You’re the most qualified to be working in this industry. We’ll get you a job as his stylist or something. That way you can help me but also talk to Chiron. Think about it.”</p>
<p>“Nico, I’m not sure about this.” Silena sounds more than a little unsure, “Chiron doesn’t trust me yet. He hasn’t forgiven me completely, and I doubt he ever will. He won’t let me do this.”</p>
<p>“But you’re saying that if I convince him, you’d do it?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know, I guess, yeah. But Nico-“</p>
<p>“No, this is great. We’ll get you a job there. You have charmspeak, you can get any information you want. This is exactly what we need.”</p>
<p>“If you’re sure that you can pull this off.” She mumbles.</p>
<p>Nico’s eyes light up marginally and he gets up from his seat, “I have a call to make and you have a cover story to think of. Better get to it.”</p>
<p>“There’s no way we’re pulling this off.”</p>
<p>“If you can ride into battle pretending to be Clarisse, you can pretend to be a stylist.”</p>
<p>Silena sighs, a tiny smile on her lips, “Fine. But if this fails, I am not taking responsibility.”</p>
<p>Nico nods and turns to leave. He can hear Silena muttering something about a goodbye, but Nico doesn’t have time for that. He has calls to make and a certain centaur to convince that this is a good idea.</p>
<p>He sits himself down on the bed in his cabin, phone in hand, laptop next to him. The easiest way would be to have Silena work as an intern with Cindy, or one of the other stylists. The only thing to figure out, is whether any of them take interns. Nico absentmindedly reaches for the coke on his desk and chucks it against the wall when he finds it empty. Fucking hell, not even that is working out today.</p>
<p>He shakes his head and tells himself he’ll get a new one later. He’s in fairly good standing with the Hermes kids. Which might actually come in handy. He might be able to get them to make a cover story for Silena.</p>
<p>Nico wonders for a second whether he should call Jo, Cindy, or Leo to ask for an internship. Jo would be the obvious answer. She’s the manager. Everything goes through her. Cindy would also work, given she’d be the one Silena would be interning with and asking her directly might put Nico good standing. Asking Leo is a good idea in theory. In practice it’s a horrible idea. Leo is probably mad at Nico for ditching the party and Nico doesn’t think Leo will feel particularly generous tonight. Nico dials his number anyway. He doesn’t know why, just that it feels right.</p>
<p>It rings five times and Nico thinks Leo won’t actually pick up. Then there’s a wet sounding voice on the other end and a croaky ‘Hello? Who is this?’ fills the silent cabin.</p>
<p>Nico gulps and takes a deep breath, “Hey, it’s Nico.”</p>
<p>“Oh. Right. I didn’t check the caller ID.”</p>
<p>“Did I wake you up?”</p>
<p>“No, I was just napping a bit.”</p>
<p>“This late in the evening?” Nico asks, trying to do the mental calculations, “It’s like three am.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know what time it is. I just felt tired earlier.”</p>
<p>“Right.” Nico says awkwardly, unsure what exactly to say to that, “I need a favor.”</p>
<p>“A favor?”</p>
<p>“Yes. A favor. I have a friend who’s trying to work her way up in the industry and I was wondering whether you could set her up with a stylist close to you? I think she’d do great and it would be really good for her.”</p>
<p>“You want me to give your random friend a job?”</p>
<p>“I know this is a massive thing, and you’re probably mad at me but I would really appreciate this. I’ve known her forever and she’s truly amazing at her job.” Nico tries his best to sound sincere, “She interned for Nadine West and she’s been working nonstop to get better. I promise she wouldn’t disappoint.”</p>
<p>“You think I’m mad at you?”</p>
<p>Nico wants to smash his head against a wall. Of course, that’s the only thing Leo took from that sentence. Stupid tired asshole with the attention span of a goldfish.</p>
<p>“That’s not important right now.”</p>
<p>“It is to me.” Leo whispers, “I’m not mad at you.”<br/>
He sounds drunk and momentarily, Nico is afraid he fucked up big time. Leo should not be alone right now. Shouldn’t be alone at any time, especially not late in the evening after a massive movie premier. Which raises another question, why isn’t he at the after party?</p>
<p>“Leo, are you drunk?” Nico asks, “We can talk about this later, if you’re not in the right state of mind right now.”</p>
<p>“No, I want to talk to you. I like your voice.”</p>
<p>Yep, definitely drunk.</p>
<p>Nico feels his hand shake as he closes his laptop and lays back on his bed, “Where are you right now?”</p>
<p>Leo makes a vague sound, “’M home.”</p>
<p>“Did you drive there yourself?” <em>Gods Nico hopes he didn’t.</em></p>
<p>“Harrison drove me.”</p>
<p>“Are you drunk? You sound drunk to me.” Nico asks.</p>
<p>“No, just tired.” Leo tells him, “The movie was nice. I liked it. I’m proud of Pipes. You should have seen it with us. Why didn’t you see it with us?”</p>
<p>Nico’s heart breaks into a million pieces he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to glue together again. He takes a shuddering breath and turns on his side, looking out the window at the forest. He thinks he can see a few dryads playing with younger campers. The sun is slowly going down, blinding him. Nico doesn’t move though. Too caught up in the pain he feels in his chest and hands. Not even the loud yelling and constant rustling of trees can distract Nico from the echo of Leo’s voice in his head.</p>
<p>“I saw that you did an Instagram live earlier.” Nico says trying to distract from the fact that he ditched Leo. He hadn’t actually seen the live. Silena had told him about it. She’d said that Leo had seemed sad and tired.</p>
<p>“Oh. That. I was bored. I didn’t want to go to the after party.”</p>
<p>“Was it fun?”</p>
<p>“I guess.” Leo mumbles, “I like talking to my fans. They make me happy. I like them.”</p>
<p>“What did you talk about?”</p>
<p>“Why do you care?”</p>
<p>Nico shrugs even though he knows Leo can’t see, “Just asking.”</p>
<p>Leo seems to ponder this and eventually answers, “I answered a few questions. I talked about what I like.”</p>
<p>“What do you like?”</p>
<p>“I dunno. Stuff.”</p>
<p>“What stuff?” Nico meant to ask simply to make sure Leo doesn’t go and drink himself into a stupor. Now he finds himself genuinely waiting for an answer. He wants to know. He wants to know what type of things Leo likes and does in his free time. Nico doesn’t remember every being this interested in someone. It feels foreign.</p>
<p>“I talked about a bunch of things. And you. I talked about you a lot.”</p>
<p>Nico’s heart skips and beat. He has to physically stop himself from raising his eyebrows in surprise. He does anyway.</p>
<p>“Oh? What did you say about me?”</p>
<p>“I told them that you’re nice. I like you. You don’t think of me as an object.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“All the others think of me as an object.” Leo says, “They think of me as a property to be promoted, not a person. You do. You never looked at me as Leo Valdez, A-list actor. You always saw Leo. I like that.”</p>
<p>Nico’s not sure his heart can take any more. The fact that others think of Leo as a property or a product to be advertised it horrible in and of itself. What’s worse though is that Leo’s perception of Nico is completely false, and Nico feels like he betrayed Leo for giving him a false sense of security. Until recently, hell until maybe three hours ago, Nico would have thought of Leo no different than those other assistants. The only difference being that to Nico Leo’s not a product but a quest. It’s not better. It’s turning Leo into an object and reducing him to what he’s worth. Be it monetarily or in form of demigod blood. Only a while ago has Nico begun thinking of Leo as Leo. Not a product but Leo. As a person with hopes and dreams and corny jokes they like to tell. Nico feels like he betrayed Leo.</p>
<p>“What else did you talk about?” Nico asks, too afraid to hear what else Leo thinks of him.</p>
<p>“I told them that Jason’s planning a new MV.”</p>
<p>“You can just tell them that?”</p>
<p>“Jason would keep it secret until the day it drops. That’s no fun.”</p>
<p>“Oh.”</p>
<p>Leo hums and it gets silent again. It’s a comfortable silence. Sort of at least. Nico wonders whether Leo was telling the truth earlier, whether he’s really at home. He wonders what Leo is thinking. Will he even remember this in the morning? Or will he just wake up and forget this phone call ever happened? Nico’s not sure which hhe likes better.</p>
<p>He wonders where in his flat Leo is. Whether he’s sitting at the dining room table in front of a bottle of Jack or laying on his bed, an empty glass of whisky sitting on the bedside table. The image is pretty in Nico’s head and Nico can’t stop his mind from wandering further down that road. He forgets all about his original plan, all thoughts replaced only by Leo and what he’s doing.</p>
<p>“Where are you?” Leo asks suddenly. His voice cuts through the thick silence like a sword and Nico nearly drops his phone on his face in surprise.</p>
<p>“Out. I needed air.” He lies.</p>
<p>“When will you be back?”</p>
<p>“Before you wake up in the morning.”</p>
<p>“Do you promise?”</p>
<p>Nico hesitates for a second, then answers, “I’ll be at the first press junket before you can even say your own name. I promise.”</p>
<p>He hears Leo hum in vague approval, “I’m tired.”</p>
<p>“You should go to bed. You sound like you had approximately fifty bottles of Jack.”</p>
<p>“Only a bit. I think I’ll sleep now.”</p>
<p>“You should.” Nico whispers, too afraid to speak up, “Good night, Leo.”</p>
<p>“Get home safe, okay?”</p>
<p>“I will.”</p>
<p>“Good night, Neeks.”</p>
<p>The line clicks shut, and Nico is left lying on his bed, alone wondering what would have happened had he been there in person. He knows that he should be getting up and going to talk to Chiron. But the conversation lays heavy on his heart and Nico can’t bring himself to get up. He lays in bed until he falls asleep. The last thing he hears is the ding of an Instagram notification. He unlocks his phone bleary eyed to find that Calypso posted a picture. It’s of a passed-out Leo, shirtless on his bed with his phone somewhere on the bed, still glowing. Nico sighs in relief. So, Leo did get home safe. Nico falls asleep soon after, dreaming for the first time not of monsters and Manhattan but of Leo curled up in bed with his phone cradled in his hands. It’s a peaceful thought. Nico doesn’t remember having one recently. He burns the image into his brain as a reminder that things do change. Slowly. But they do. Eventually, even Nico will be able to sleep peacefully again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I meant to get this out like yesterday but then the 1D ten year anniversary happened today so like what was I thinking lmao I spent the whole day worrying that I was missing something so now I have the chapter out today and that's all you're gonna get lol I hope you're happy</p>
<p>One day I will edit this story but that day is not today and also not tomorrow but it will be one day</p>
<p>comments, kudos and any other love are always appreciated and I love you lads lots</p>
<p>&lt;3 thanks for reading this ily</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Seeing you Change Little by Little</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>heeeeey im not dead guess what </p><p>anyway this got kinda angsty and slightly, just a bit horny on Nico's part so beware</p><p>please don't hate this lmao I haven't written for this story in like 6 months okay I'm doing my best</p><p>title from Day6 'Not mine' (English Ver.)</p><p>Please let me know if there are any typos or mistakes I was too tired to beta this</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>[The camera shutter echoes through the air. It’s louder than expected but still only barely audible over the loud streets below them. Leo leans back further over the edge of the building, his hands gripping the railing he’s sitting on. Piper has her arms securely around his legs. She wouldn’t dare let him fall. Not during a photoshoot and not any other time. It doesn’t stop the longing in Leo’s chest to just let go of the railing and let himself fall. To stop holding on to something he should have stopped holding on to years ago. But Piper won’t let him. She lets her thumb run over his ankle, her head resting on his thigh. Leo knows that the moment his hands waver she’ll tighten her grip and lean into him more. She’ll fall with him if she needs to. Leo won’t let it happen. So, he grips the railing tighter, lifts his head to the sky and lets himself breathe deeply. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>The camera goes off a few more times and soon enough Leo is lost in the feeling again. Piper shifts a few times but she never lets go.]</i>
</p><div class="center">
  <p>________</p>
</div>Nico curses and hits the steering wheel in anger. He was meant to be at Leo’s first shindig twenty minutes ago, yet he’s not even close to being there. The cars in front of him don’t move and a few simply honk at each other. Nico is seriously tempted to simply shadow travel there, but for numerous reasons he can’t:<p>1.	There aren’t any shadows big enough for him to step into and disappear into.</p><p>2.	Silena is in the car with him and, if the shadows aren’t big enough for one person, they’re definitely not big enough for two people, especially with all the stuff Silena has with her.</p><p>3.	He can’t just leave the car in the middle of the road</p><p>4.	It takes too much energy. Nico still hasn’t recovered from his impromptu trip to camp and he’d rather not risk it on this. He thinks he’ll need all energy he can get to face Leo.</p><p>Now, Nico is in favor of disregarding reason number three. He’d leave the car behind in a heartbeat if it meant not disappointing Leo. Even more so if it meant being there to hold and maybe comfort him. Last time they’d spoken Leo had sounded out of it. Nico would rather not repeat that. As it is though, he can’t. So, he’s stuck in the car with Silena who keeps repeating her data as though she’s afraid she’ll forget it if she stops for a second. Nico can’t really blame her. This whole thing may be fake for Nico, but for her it’s entirely real. It’s like a foot in the door to becoming a stylist for the top percent of the world. For her, working with Leo is everything she needs to be able to make it big. </p><p>Nico glances at Silena and for a second considers asking her whether she’s okay. He doesn’t. They’re not friends and it’s not his business what she’s feeling. They’re barely acquaintances. The only reason she’s here is because she’s the only Aphrodite kid he can stand. Anybody else would have been to much of a pain to deal with. </p><p>The cars begin moving again and finally Nico can press his foot on the gas and get going. Every meter he gets closer to the address of the hotel Leo’s meant to be shooting at is another meter to being close to Leo again. </p><p>Over the last week and a half, Nico’s had a lot of time to think. Leo hadn’t had anything planned or scheduled so Nico had been free to make plans with Silena. He’d messaged Jo to let her know he’d be out of town because of family reasons for a few days and she’d reluctantly agreed to let him go, after he’d spun some convoluted story about how is second cousin had gotten sick and he needed to be there to help out for a bit. It wasn’t strictly wrong. Technically it was a family issue that took him to Camp. Just a lot more distant, barely related family. Still, in his head it hadn’t even been a complete lie. He’s sure there’s at least one sick kid at camp that he could claim is his second cousin if he needed to. So, Jo had sent him off with get well wishes and had promised to sort things out for a few days. Nico hadn’t messaged Leo personally too scared to disappoint Leo. Yet somehow, when thinking about telling Leo, Nico had felt a lot more like he was lying than when talking to Jo. Maybe it’s because he’d promised to be there the next day after that terrifying call with Leo and then had ghosted Leo instead. Nico hadn’t dwelled on that longer than he’d dwelled on his recent change in feelings toward Leo. Which is to say, not at all. The moment a thought that sounded even distantly not platonic entered his mind he’d banished it and focused on more important things instead. After his little realization at the premier he’d elected to ignore the spike in his chest whenever a text from Leo came. </p><p>After a lot of arguing and whining on Nico’s and Silena’s parts, Chiron had agreed to let Silena out on the quest. Nico had had to promise that he’d make sure she wouldn’t try anything and that he’d take responsibility for everything she did, before he agreed but in the end, they’d walked out of the big house with permission and a command to talk to the Hermes kids for a cover story. Nico had left Silena to figuring it out and gone to his own cabin to pack some more clothes for the future. They’d shadow travelled to London the next day.</p><p>Since then they’ve gone over the plan more than necessary. Silena would pretend to be a childhood friend of Nico’s (Not entirely a lie, they’ve known each other long enough) who’s always wanted to become a stylist (Also not a lie). Nico had always taken an interest in the entertainment world (A complete lie, he couldn’t physically care less) and the two had promised to make it big together one day (entirely a lie, they’d never even spoken until a few weeks ago). Really, Nico is proud of himself for not vomiting every time they go over it. It’s a ridiculous plan and Silena had put more effort into her cover story than Nico had but in the end they’d both been too nervous to do much more planning.</p><p>“I don’t want to replace my phone wallpaper.” Silena whines a few minutes before they’re due to arrive at the venue, “It’s so pretty.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“My wallpaper.” She says as though it explains everything, “It’s of Leo and me at a fansign event. I can’t have that as my wallpaper if I’m to be working for Leo, genius.”</p><p>Once more Nico is reminded why he stays out of these things. He’d never thought about phone wallpapers or fansign events or creepy friends. </p><p>“Is he like he is in interviews?” She asks just as they step out of the car and walk to the main entrance. Nico hands her a lanyard with her ID on it and opens the door for her.</p><p>“I dunno. I don’t care about him enough to judge that.” Nico really needs to stop lying so much. It’s getting out of hand.</p><p>“Come on, you have to know a bit. Is he at all?”</p><p>“I guess he’s nice. Don’t worry too much.”</p><p>That last part earns him an incredulous look and a shove in his side from Silena who glares. Nico’s not sure what was wrong with what he said. She shouldn’t worry. She’s naturally charming, easily as much as Leo is, though Nico will always be partial to Leo, so really Nico should be the worried one. What if Silena and Leo hit it off too well and Nico has to deal with their combined chaotic energy? He’d rather not. So, he checks his phone to find a text from one of the other assistants telling him that they’re just about to start getting ready now at the hotel bar. Nico leads Silena there, who looks like she might pass out. She’ll be fine. At least he hopes so.</p><p>Silena grows impossibly pale when they arrive. Her eyes light up like a Christmas tree and she honest to the Gods squeals. It’d be adorable if it didn’t mess with Nico’s vibe. He scoffs and keeps walking toward where Cindy is standing in front of Piper. She’s focused on laughing at something Piper said so she doesn’t notice them arriving.</p><p>“Cindy?” He asks.</p><p>She turns away from clipping Piper’s hair away and gives Nico a once over, “Have you decided to show up as well?” There’s a smile in her voice but she also sounds like she’s genuinely bothered by the fact that they’re barely on time. Nico gulps and tries to suppress the shame bubbling up in his chest.</p><p>“This is Silena, the new intern. I had to pick her up from the airport and traffic was terrible as usual.” He explains, gesturing to Silena who waves meekly, “We’ll be on time next time.”</p><p>“I hope so. Today is an important shoot. It’s not every day you get to be on the cover of Harper’s Bazaar.”</p><p>Nico can faintly hear Silena gasp behind him before she answers, “Thank you so much for letting me work with you. I promise I’ll do my best to learn and work hard.”</p><p>Cindy’s gaze softens when it lands on Silena and she smiles gently, “Don’t worry about it honey, I’m sure you’ll be great,” She says, “I’ve seen your portfolio and I asked Nadine about you. She said you were a fantastic student. I have no doubt you’ll do well.”</p><p>Silena preens under the praise, “Thank you so much. It means a lot coming from someone as well established as you.”</p><p>“Don’t worry about it.” Cindy says, “Why don’t you go and look at the concept pictures to get a feel for what we’re doing. After that you can help me with Piper’s hair.”</p><p>Silena nods and leaves to go look at the board in question where the concept photos are all hanging. It’s a lot of green and dark brown. Nico’s not sure how to feel about it. He doesn’t have long to dwell about it before he feels someone punch his hip. He looks down to find Piper glaring at her. He thinks it’d be more effective if she didn’t have numerous hair clips in her hair, making her look like a little girl who isn’t getting a Lolli pop.</p><p>“Where the fuck were you?” She asks, “Leo nearly went insane without you.”</p><p>Nico highly doubts that, but he answers anyway, “Family emergency.” The answer is practiced by now.</p><p>“And why did you not tell Leo? Was he just meant to know without being told?”</p><p>“I didn’t think it’d be a big deal. It was just a few days anyway.”</p><p>“You ghosted him. You promised to be back before he even got up and then you disappeared for like a week and a half. Tell me how that’s not a big deal.”</p><p>“He has you guys and a bunch of other assistants. Besides, he can survive a few days without me. I’m sure he knows how to fold laundry.”</p><p>Piper’s glare deepens and he feels another hit on his hip, “It’s not about surviving you idiot. He likes you and trust you for once and you go and ghost him. In case you haven’t noticed you’re his longest running assistant right now.”</p><p>Nico swallows his pride and hangs his head in shame. Piper is right. Of course, she is. Fuck, Nico knew she was right even before she said it. He’d spent the past few days wallowing in guilt, deleting every message he sent Leo just to send the same one again. But hearing her say it made him feel a hundred times worse.</p><p>“I’ll go talk to him.” He mumbles.</p><p>“You better.” Piper tells him, “He’s over by the bar already. Don’t fuck it up.”</p><p>Nico nods and does his best not to let his nerves get to him. It’s fine. He can do this, right? He’s just going to go there, swallow his pride, apologize and hope that everything goes back to normal and he can keep working on his quest.<br/>No amount of hyping himself up could prepare him for the sight in front of him. Really, he should’ve expected it. He hadn’t seen Leo in days and only caught glimpses of his Instagram lives in midsts of preparing with Silena, so sue Nico for having the wind knocked out of him the moment his eyes focus on Leo. </p><p>Leo is, well, he’s Leo. Always gorgeous, perfect, beautiful, fantastic Leo. He looks tired. So, so tired but not even that can make him any less breathtaking. The Gods must have loved him a great deal to bestow him with such beauty and Nico wonders whether Leo might be a son of Aphrodite. He wouldn’t doubt it for even a millisecond. For Leo, he’d fall on his knees and take back every bad word he’s ever said about the kids of Aphrodite. Gods, he’d fall on his knees without reason, simply because Leo asked him to. No further words necessary.</p><p>Except he looks different. Nico wonders whether he was really just gone for a week and a half or whether he was gone for longer. Maybe a month or a year. Nico should know exactly how much can change in a week and a half. A monster can kill you; the Gods can decide your fate, or the camps can be at each other’s throats again. Or Leo can turn into what can only be described as a living heart attack. Nico thinks it should be illegal to be dressed like that.<br/>Last time Nico had seen Leo, he’d been running around in baggy clothes, simple but expensive suits and very little make up with his natural hair sticking every which way. He’d had a boyish charm about him. Like Nico could squeeze his cheeks and hold him tight and protect him from the world. All big pastel sweaters and faded jeans. Nico had barely been able to believe that the Leo he’d met was the one who’d made a sex tape, going down on someone like it was his reason to live. <br/>The Leo sitting on the bar, staring into the camera longingly was not at all the one Nico remembers. Nico has a hard time believing that they’re even the same person.</p><p>Leo is wearing a tightly fitting brown and gold floral suit with the occasional rhinestone decorating it. The lapels are black, covered in black sequins. His leather shoes shine brightly in the stark but low light. His skin glows pink and blue from the neon signs around him. Nico’s eyes followed the seams of his suit, travelling up to Leo’s chest only to find no shirt. Leo wasn’t wearing a shirt under his blazer. No shirt. Leo wasn’t wearing a shirt. If Nico didn’t have a reputation to uphold, he’d be passing out right about now. Not only was the blazer already low cut, but Leo just had to slouch, his legs wide open to the camera, head tilted upward. His neck looked infinitely long, and his collarbones made Nico wants to reach out and touch. To feel the smooth and bright skin under his hands. </p><p>Nico forced his eyes away from Leo’s chest, telling himself off mentally for even looking for so long, and moved up to Leo’s face. That heavenly and magical face. </p><p>Usually, Leo didn’t wear make-up. Not for lack of trying of course. Silena had filled Nico in on all of Leo’s past escapades, quite a lot of which involved rumors of Leo wearing make-up and dresses and whatnot in his free time or messing around with it with Piper. Nico had never put much thought into make-up and who was and wasn’t allowed to wear it. He’d been too busy saving the world and trying not to die. Now though, he wanted to personally hit whoever said guys shouldn’t wear make-up.<br/>Leo looked breathtaking with the dark brown eyeshadow around his eyes, a wet glistening look, with minimal golden glitter decorating his lashes. The stylists must have gone all out with the lip-gloss today because Leo’s lips looked a whole lot shinier than usual. </p><p>Nico knew that Leo always wore make up for events, but it was never this. Never so people would notice. Usually, at least from what Nico had seen in the past few months, it’d always been just foundation, concealer, powder and sometimes a tiny bit of blush to make him look less ghastly. <br/>This though, Nico could get behind. He didn’t see the point in wearing make-up to cover flaws when everyone had them anyway. Make-up to show a creative vision and mess around with colors though, that Nico could get behind. <br/>Leo shifted and leaned back, his hands gripping onto the edge of the counter he was sitting on, legs spread further as they hung over the edge. </p><p>The bar looked like it was made to be form the 20s. Extravagant golden ornaments and stucco covered the walls, and everything was kept in dark brown shades. Behind Leo an assortment of crystal liquor bottles covered the walls, lined by pink and blue neon lights. It looked like it came straight out of a noir movie. A whiskey glass sat next to Leo on the counter and they’d piled bottles onto the counter around him. Leo looked like a sinful dream sitting among all the things he shouldn’t even be thinking about. Nico wasn’t sure whether he liked the idea of having Leo sit on a throne of his addictions for a magazine cover. </p><p>An assistant came over and smiled sweetly before spraying something all over Leo’s chest and face to make it shinier. It looks wet now, though Nico is very sure the woman didn’t spray actual water on Leo. It looks too perfect and it doesn’t run the way water would. Nico distantly recalls Silena telling him something about glycerin and water being mixed together and baby oil to be used to make models look shiny. Nico can’t be bothered to remember, too busy staring at Leo as he looks into the camera like he wants to devour it. Nico wishes Leo would look at him like that. He doesn’t even have the decency to be ashamed of his thoughts when Leo looks like that.</p><p>Nico stands to the side, unable to move, until the photographer smiles and nods at Leo telling him this section of the shoot is over for now and to take a break. Leo nods but doesn’t smile back. It’s so uncharacteristically unlike Leo that Nico thinks there’s a whole different person standing in front of him.<br/>He finally regains his voice and calls out to him, lifting his hand, “Leo, I need to talk to you.”<br/>Leo’s head snaps over so fast Nico’s scared Leo will break his neck. When his eyes fall on Nico they narrow, and his face goes uncomfortably blank. He nods and gets off the counter, making his way over to Nico. With the suit and the shiny skin Nico has a hard time remembering what he meant to talk about.</p><p>“You’re back.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Nico says kind of breathless. He hates that in a matter of seconds Leo has managed to rock Nico’s world. </p><p>“You missed the first shoot today.” Leo tells him.</p><p>“This is the first shoot.”</p><p>Leo shakes his head, still terrifyingly unbothered, “No. Jo sent you an updated schedule this morning. We were shooting over the park this morning for Vanity Fair.”</p><p>“But I checked, and it said this is the first one.” Nico argued. </p><p>“Check again next time and do your job.” Leo told him before nodding toward the hotel entrance a few feet away, “Go get me a latte with extra crème and caramel from the café across the street. I’m tired.”</p><p>That’s all Nico gets before Leo turns on his heel and walks back to where he was sitting, letting the photographer know that he’s ready to go again. Nico stares for a bit before looking over to the entrance of the hotel and across the street. </p><p>Leo just asked him to get a coffee. No, not asked, he demanded. There was no ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ just a command coupled with a demand for Nico to do his job. Not once since Nico had started this quest months ago had Leo ever treated Nico like an actual assistant. Even on his first day he’d invited Nico out with them and asked for everything with a ‘please’ and ‘Thank you’.<br/>Begrudgingly he makes his way to the café and waits in line for what felt like hours only to order a single coffee overly sugary coffee for Leo. He gets cavities from just ordering He balances the hot beverage in his hands, doing his best not to burn himself on his way back to the hotel. </p><p>When he returns Piper is sitting with Leo by the counter. Nico nearly drops the coffee at the view.<br/>Piper sits in-between Leo’s legs, who’s still sitting on the counter. This time he has his arms wound around her neck, leaning his head next to hers. Piper is leaning into him, one arm gripping his leg loosely the other resting on his knee. Her head is thrown back on his shoulder, her eyes focused on the camera. Nico understands now why they’re such hailed actors. Anyone who can look at a camera held by a photographer in his late fifties, with an unkempt beard, lying on the floor with probably the ugliest sweater Nico has ever seen, and still stare wantonly and sexily into the camera deserves an Academy Award or five.<br/>Nico grips the coffee tighter and tries not to think about the fact that it’s his fault that Leo won’t talk to him.</p><p>“He’s changed hasn’t he.” Someone says from beside him. <br/>Nico turns to find Cindy standing next to him. Her glasses are perched high on her nose, a sad smile on her face.</p><p>“What happened?” Nico asks carefully, “Last time I saw him he was trying very hard to play the straight dude-bro type and this is well, not that. He’s wearing make-up and a blazer without a shirt. I can see his chest.”<br/>Cindy laughs and nods, “You left.”</p><p>“I have nothing to do with this.”</p><p>“You do. I know you think you mean nothing to Leo and that you’ll just playing assistant for the time being. I don’t know what you’re trying to accomplish but I know that whatever it is it’ll hurt Leo.” Cindy says, “He trusts you; you know. He was talking to me about taking you with him on their little vacation.”</p><p>“But I was only gone for a few days.”</p><p>“It only takes a second to change things.”</p><p>“I don’t understand how me leaving for a couple of days makes him turn into that.”</p><p>“You leaving, that was the last straw.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Cindy turns to look at him finally, a tired look on her face, “He told me the other day, ‘If everyone’s gonna call me a slut and a whore anyway, I might as well be whatever the fuck I want.’” She says “He thinks you left because you got tired of him and the way he was. All of this, is because he’s decided that he’s tired of being someone he’s not.”</p><p>Nico feels the breath get knocked out of him for an entirely different reason than earlier. His throat feels dry and he thought me might suffocate if someone doesn’t say sike right now.</p><p>“Didn’t Jo tell him I had a family emergency?”</p><p>Cindy stays quiet and Nico doesn’t like what that implies, “She didn’t think Leo needed to know the details. She said there was too much going on right now to distract Leo.”</p><p>“What’s that supposed to mean?”</p><p>“If Leo had known, he surely would’ve worried about you and tried contacting you. Jo said we had too many things to get done to allow that.”</p><p>“He had an entire week off! There was nothing for me to distract him from! One call and I would’ve explained everything to him.”</p><p>“Jo said she can’t afford Leo being distracted when things pick up. Especially with the style change and everything. He’s been posting recently so she took his phone and told him to just lay low and figure out who he wants to appear as now.” Cindy tells him, “This shoot is important. It’s the first one with the new styling and the new Leo. We don’t know how the public will react so we’ve scheduled a bunch of interviews these next few days to make sure we can control it.”</p><p>“She should’ve told him.” Nico says, “I told her to tell him.”</p><p>“Well then go tell him that yourself. I’m not the one you need to convince.”</p><p>Nico’s eyebrows knit together, and he tries hard not to let his heart fall apart at the sight in front of him. He wants to be happy that Leo’s decided to be himself, to let it all out as far as he’s willing but not like this. Not because he thinks no one cares enough about him the way he was before. Not because he thinks Nico grew tired of him. Not like this.</p><div class="center">
  <p>________</p>
</div><i>[Leo can feel Nico’s eyes on him. Has felt them for hours now. He wonders what Nico thinks. Whether he’s happy now. Now that Leo’s no longer the clingy, needy boy, desperate for everyone’s approval. He thinks that Nico should be happy. Maybe now he’ll stay. If Leo finally lets it all go then maybe people will like him. </i><p>
  <i>Piper’s grip on his leg shifts to hold on to his knee and Leo doesn’t ever want her to let go. She won’t let him fall too deep into this. Not alone. If he lets himself go too far she’ll be right there next to him guiding him like a compass. Piper and Jason are his compass. Jason keeps them grounded, always pointing north and knowing what to do. Piper stays with him, navigates him through uncharted waters. For a while Leo thought Nico might be part of it too. Never letting Leo get too far into his head. Then Nico left and now Leo knows that it was dumb to think Nico cares. It’s better now. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>Still somehow Leo feels that in the process of finding himself he lost part of himself along the way. He’s independent and uncaring now but he feels he lost it somewhere on the way to greatness. He’s not sure whether he can get it back. Not sure whether he wants it back.]</i>
</p><div class="center">
  <p>________</p>
</div>The photoshoot drags on for far too long. Nico’s feet fall asleep halfway through and the coffee is cold by the time they get through all the locations in the hotel and Leo finally wipes the sweat off his forehead and makes his way to Nico. Steeling his nerves, Nico takes one more deep breath before handing the coffee to Leo and looking him in the eyes.<p>“We need to talk.”</p><p>Leo barely even looks up at him, too busy emptily staring at the cold coffee in his hand, “Cold coffee makes you beautiful.” He says like he didn’t hear Nico at all, “I guess it’s useless now there's no need to make me any more beautiful.”</p><p>“Leo. Listen to me.”</p><p>“Can you get me a new one?” Leo asks instead of answering.</p><p>“Leo.”</p><p>“Nico. I told you to get me another coffee.”</p><p>Nico’s chest grows impossibly tight and he has to do his best not to make the floor crack open right then and there. The way Leo is acting makes Nico want to throw up and strangle him at the same time. This isn’t the Leo Nico met. This is the Leo Nico was afraid to meet. An arrogant, self-centered celebrity with no concept of compassion. Nico won’t let Leo do this. He’s lost too many people already and he’s not letting Leo fall too deep into himself to climb back out.<br/>He reaches out his hand and grips onto Leo’s sleeve tightly, </p><p>“Fucking listen to me right now.”</p><p>“I want another coffee.” Leo says but his voice sounds shaky, unsure. When Nico focuses on his eyes, he can see they’re glassy. Nico doesn’t think it’s from the make-up.</p><p>“I’ll get you your dumb fucking coffee if you listen to me for one goddamn minute.”</p><p>“I don’t want to listen to you. I want my coffee”</p><p>“I don’t care. Just listen.” Nico says. Leo makes a face and gestures for Nico to continue, “I’m sorry, okay? I told Jo to let you know I wouldn’t be here, but she clearly didn’t tell you. I had a family emergency and had to go back to New York to take care of it. I should’ve told you. I wasn’t thinking clearly.” Nico says, ignoring the pain in his chest at Leo’s dejected look, “I didn’t mean to make you think I disliked you or that I didn’t want to be around. I should’ve just called you myself. I’m sorry. Seriously.”</p><p>Leo sighs deeply and when he finally looks Nico in the eyes, Nico wishes he never had. They’re empty and tired and Nico can’t find any of the wonder he used to see there. Leo pushes the cold coffee into Nico’s hand and gives him a tight smile,</p><p>“Nico, somewhere out there I’m sure someone cares about your apology, but it’s not me.” He tells Nico, “Now get me my coffee. My first interview of the day starts in an hour and I don’t want to be late.”</p><p>With that he leaves, completely oblivious to the fact that he just broke Nico’s whole world off its axis and tossed it into the depths of space. Nico is left standing in the foyer of the expensive hotel, cold coffee in hand and the ghost of a man he used to know walking away from him. Nico doesn’t think it’ll be okay again.</p><p>They leave for the first interview half an hour later and Leo is sipping a steaming hot latte with extra crème and caramel. Nico wants to puke.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>so that's a thing now</p><p>anyway Im not in fact dead Im still here and I know this was last updated in like juli but its not that I don't have interest in this story anymore, I do, its just that I legit didn't know how tf to continue it lmao and then I got covid and my school and city went into lockdown like twice and now its in lockdown again so I figured fuck it I'm just doing this and whatever happens happens so *hands you this* you're welcome lads</p><p>also sorry that Nico got low key horny over Leo in this I didn't mean for that to happen but I saw that one pic of Jaehyun in that suit and I was like ah yes Leo needs to wear this so yeah</p><p>I hope you've all been staying hydrated and healthy while I was gone and didn't remind you. if you haven't I will come to your house and force you to be healthy do not test me I love all of you and Its not below me to force you to be okay k thx ❤️ </p><p>seriously though I hope you're all doing well or at least not terrible right now with everything going on so please stay safe and stay at home if you can!!!</p><p>thank you to everyone who's still here I love and appreciate you very much and Im glad you stuck around I hope this update wasn't too disappointing lmao </p><p>comments kudos and whatnot make me immensely happy so thanks to everyone who does that ily ❤️ </p><p>See you next time (hopefully not 6 months again but who knows whatever happens happens amirt)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Maybe I need to find a different miror</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Title from Stray Kids 'Mirror' (translated in English)</p><p>I hope you like it everyone I actually put effort into this for once.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His suit lies crinkled on the floor and Cindy will get mad at him. The flowery pattern makes him want to wretch, makes him want to reach out and tear the damn suit into pieces. He can’t bring himself to move. His legs won’t move, and his fists stay clenched at his sides as he glares at the piece of clothing on the too clean floor. That damn floor. It’s too clean, too perfect. The whole house is too perfect. He’d bought it when he was seventeen, right after his big break and first blockbuster movie. The house had been bigger than he’d ever need, more than enough for at least five people. But he’d bought it anyway. Because he could. That’s all it’d been. He hadn’t looked at the house and fallen in love or at the garden and dreamt of days sitting out by the pool watching the clouds go by. He’d bought it out of pure, unadulterated hubris. He could so he did. And now it all feels wrong.</p><p>A massive house out on the coast in Maine.</p><p>A floral suit on the too clean parkette.</p><p>A broken glass on the counter.</p><p>Everything feels wrong.</p><p>Leo had thought he’d be happy. That if he just got his shit together and dressed how ever he wanted he’d be happy. That if he let go of everything that’d been hurting, he’d be fine. Except it’d just made it worse. Fuck everything had gotten worse. For some twisted reason, he’d thought that if he just let it all go then it never happened. If he dressed in expensive suits and pretty jewelry and covered the dark circles under his eyes, then the sleepless nights and endless crying and angry outbursts never happened. Then Leo can pretend that he was just like any other vain and self-obsessed celebrity out there.<br/>But that’s the problem, isn’t it? It had happened and Leo knows that no amount of make-up and loud outfits could make it go away. No matter how drastically he changes his look or his personality, he’ll always be the botched child star with abandonment issues.</p><p>For a few weeks, Leo thought that maybe Nico could fix it. That Nico could make Leo right again. What a dumb thought. Leo had been foolish to think he meant anything to Nico. He’s nothing more than a job to him. Another celebrity to keep happy just to get his monthly cheque. Leo doesn’t know why Nico specifically struck a chord. Hell, all of Leo’s old assistants quit within the month, and most did so with loud outbursts, followed by trashy tabloids filled with new gossip dished out as revenge by the ex-assistants. From rumors about Leo throwing things in a violent rage to rumors of him inviting over girls to fuck every night, Leo’s seen it all, and after the first few supposed scandals, he’s grown accustomed to it. Has grown used to the routine. A new assistant, a few exhausting weeks, a loud resignation, and then the gossip magazines claiming a new conspiracy. </p><p>But Nico had been different. </p><p>Nico had looked at Leo and seen a person instead of an object to be used. He’d called Leo out on his bullshit, but he hadn’t blamed Leo for the things that happened, and the way Leo’s life had fallen apart. Nico had been there and picked Leo up when Leo couldn’t pick himself up. And maybe that’s why it hurts. Maybe that’s why Leo looks at the room down the hall of the house where he knows Nico would be sleeping soundly right now if Leo hadn’t bailed on the last minute and ran away from everything. Leo wonders whether Nico would like the house. Maybe he would. He doesn’t know. Nico didn’t talk about himself and the bored expression never left his face. What Leo wouldn’t give to see Nico’s smile just one more time. Just one more evening sitting together on the sofa, watching movies until their eyes fall shut and neither can remember what’s going on anymore. One more night of chicken wings and fries and donuts Leo shouldn’t be eating. One more night of Nico.</p><p>But Nico left. </p><p>Nico had made his choice and Leo isn’t going to be the one to run after him and beg him to stay. Nico made his choice and that’s on him. He decided that Leo isn’t worth his time and that’s okay. Leo hates it and he wants to grab Nico by his shoulders and ask him why, beg him to tell him, but he won’t. He’s too proud for that. </p><p>Leo’s phone is only a few feet away, on the kitchen counter buzzing with unread messages and incoming calls from Jo and Piper and Jason asking where he disappeared to. It’s been three weeks since he’s last seen them. Three weeks since he packed his bags, took his car keys, and drove all the way to his house in Maine at three in the morning. Piper has been calling every day. Jason’s left more than his fair share of messages begging him to call back and Jo is surely having an ulcer down in LA. From what Leo has seen, Jo has been posting on his social media, informing everyone that a big reveal is coming soon and not to worry, that Leo is working on a big new project. Leo wants to laugh. He’s not working on a project. Not even close. Hell, work is the last thing on his mind right now. He hasn’t thought about auditions and callbacks in weeks and he’s never felt so liberated. And yet he can’t relax. Can’t go down to the shore and let his feet dangle in the water peacefully. Every time he manages to relax, he glances at his phone and finds a new message, a new tweet Jo posted on his Twitter pretending to be him, another crying emoji from Jason, and another angry text from Nico to quit being stupid and to come back. The latter hurt. Leo doesn’t want to admit it, but they do. It’s strange that Nico is texting him. Sure, it’s his job and right now Leo is making it incredibly hard for him to do his job, but he hadn’t bothered to inform Leo when he disappeared for a week and a half, so Leo doesn’t think he owes Nico anything. Especially not an apology or an explanation.</p><p>Leo blinks the tears in his eyes away, pulls his shirt over his head, grabs his phone, and goes upstairs to stand on the balcony looking out over the ocean. It’s early morning, the fog is thick over the cliffs and Leo can barely see the water with the clouds moving across the sky. He sets up his phone by the door, turns on the timer, and goes to stand by the railing, his back to the ocean, head tilted back, staring at the sky. If Jo wants updates, she can have updates. All she has to do is ask. It’s her own fault for not specifying what she wants. </p><p>He reaches for the pack of cigarettes on the small coffee table on his right and lights a cigarette, putting it in his mouth and taking the first drag in months. He’s been clean since he got out of rehab again. He thinks today is a good day to give up on fruitless efforts and attempts at a life he’ll never have. Jo can make of this whatever she wants. For all, she knows he’s somewhere in the middle of nowhere, alone and unattended.<br/>No one knows about the house. Not Jason, not Piper, definitely not Jo, and not Reyna. The only one who knows is Calypso. Leo took her here the day after their PR relationship was announced. At the time they’d needed a break and Calypso had mentioned that she’d always wanted to travel so he’d grabbed a duffle bag and driven them up to the house. Much like this time. Except this time, he’s alone. He knows Calypso knows where he is. If she hasn’t figured it out yet she’ll definitely know once he posts the pictures to his Instagram. She’ll recognize the balcony in a heartbeat. The balcony that Leo and she talked about life and she told him about herself for the first time. She’d smiled and nudged him and asked if he believed in monsters. He’d laughed and asked her whether she’d ever met him.</p><p>
  <i>“They live among us.” She’d said.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“All monsters do.” He’d answered, still staring at the ocean, passing the cigarette to her, “That’s why they’re so scary. They could be anyone.”</i>
</p><p>Calypso had laughed and shaken her head. She’d grabbed his hand and asked him if he believed in gods. He’d said no. He’d been wrong. For the first time, life had made sense that morning. The heat in his chest and the fire that killed his mom had made sense and for the first time, Leo had felt at ease. Like the mist he’d never known was there was lifted and suddenly he could see clearly. Maybe that’s why he drove up here of all places. Maybe, in a way, he’d longed for that feeling of clarity again. </p><p>His phone goes off again and it’s a message from Calypso. He swipes his thumb across the screen and unlocks it, opening the green messenger app immediately. He ignores the dozens of unread messages and opens Calypso’s chat instead.</p><p><b>Calypso:</b><br/>You look tired<br/>Get some sleep<br/>I’ll keep Jo away</p><p>He’s about to respond when another message comes in and his chest feels warm out in the cold, windy morning.</p><p><b>Calypso:</b><br/>I love you<br/>Be safe</p><p>She cares. Calypso cares and she doesn’t tell Leo what to do or how to live as long as he comes back to her at the end of the day. As long as he comes back to her she lets him run free. Leo will always come back to her. Even just because she put her trust in him. It’s only fair he doesn’t abuse it.</p><p><b>You:</b><br/>I promise.</p><p>Leo sends back and takes a selfie, half his face hidden out of frame, and posts it on his Instagram story and subsequently presses the button to go live. He sets the phone on the coffee table and as his phone loads to go online he pulls a loos shirt back over his head. No need to flash anyone this early in the morning. Even if his latest Instagram posts were a little more scandalous. He figures it goes with his new vibe. The whole unbothered and ‘I don’t give a fuck anymore’ vibe.</p><p>Quickly people start joining in, the number of viewers rising steadily. A grin makes its way on his face and he can’t shake it even when he sees Jo is watching from the official Waystation Instagram account. He doesn’t acknowledge her. Just grins wider, makes a heart at the camera, and laughs when people start spamming him with questions about his absence. It feels good to be wanted. With all the attention on him and the flood of hearts and ‘I love you’s in the chat Leo thinks he can forget about Nico and his dumb way of making Leo feel things for him. After all the love his fans give him is way better and deeper than anyone else in the world could ever give him. They love him more than anyone else. So, sue Leo for amping it up on the flirting and the jokes and the playful innuendos.</p><p>“<i>Are you dating anyone?</i>” He reads one of the comments out loud. </p><p>He laughs. The idea of dating someone hadn’t crossed his mind for months. It wasn’t above him to admit that his feelings for Nico were less than platonic and bordered more on love than they should, but Leo won’t let himself think further than that. Nico is out of reach and besides, he’s made his choice. That choice simply happened to not include Leo.</p><p>“I don’t need anyone, I have you guys.” He tells the people watching, “You’re all I need.”</p><p>He hasn’t said things like that in ages. Hasn’t had to play boyfriend material to the public since he turned twenty. Back then that’s what he’d been marketed as. In a way, Jo had assigned each one of them a role to play. </p><p>Piper had been the pretty, strong girl with a soft heart. The unattainable one. Sitting on a glass throne to be admired far away from everyone else. Kind of like that cheerleader in high school who everyone had a crush on. They’d dressed her like that too. With perfectly done makeup and pretty beach waves and expensive dresses. She’d been told to appeal to the boys watching them. To flaunt her femineity. Leo remembers her yelling at Jo about it several times. </p><p>Jason had been the sweet boy next door coupled with the jock. The all-American boy with the blond hair and blue eyes and tall build. He played the guitar and sang sweet love songs that only ever said ‘you’ and who always said his love songs were about his fans. The boy anyone could and would fall in love with. Jo had described it as ‘your childhood best friend who’s always there for you and loves you unconditionally’ once. Leo had wanted to throw up at the idea, but Jo had insisted that it would see. It did sell. It sold way too well for anyone to be comfortable with.</p><p>Calypso had been the mysterious girl who showed up out of nowhere. The one nothing was known about, with the goddess aura and the angelic voice. Whereas Piper had been the unattainable yet cheeky and pretty girl you see in every high school, Calypso had been marketed as the mile-high goddess among mortals. With pretty gold makeup and long flowy dresses and regal concepts. She’d been marketed as the queen among mortals. It’d sold far better than Leo had expected. Then again, everyone seemed to like a bit of mystery and Calypso covered herself in it.</p><p>Of all of them, Jo had put the most effort into creating Leo. The persona she’d built for him was like the opposite of who he’d actually been at the time. Jo had turned a happy-go-lucky boy who made dick jokes and had pimples all over his face, into a boy who made smooth pick-up lines and wore leather jackets, yet still maintained that innocent image. He’s the youngest of the bunch, only by a few weeks, but Jo had milked it dry. She’d shoved him in mismatched converse and told him to act rebellious and to flirt with the camera any chance he got. She’d sent him to game shows and variety shows telling him to laugh and answer all questions about his love life by diverting them to his fans. To pretend he’d never kissed anyone and to act like he didn’t know what sex was. She’d wanted a boy who looked tough on the outside but was soft on the inside and Leo had been the most convenient target, with his mischievous eyes and naturally mean smile. Leo can’t blame her for taking advantage of the situation. He can’t lie and say Jo is bad at her job. She did a remarkable job marketing them to the public and turning them into superstars. But she shouldn’t have been so surprised when the personas ruined them.</p><p>Piper’s persona consumed her and eventually being pretty and validated was all she could think about.</p><p>Jason never learned how to love for real and eventually ran out of material for love songs about people he never met. </p><p>Calypso grew tired of the mystery and the unattainability and began longing for a quiet life away from all the control. </p><p>And Leo grew tired of being innocent. He never wanted to be sweet and soft and innocent. He acted out and he got into everything he’d been told to pretend he’d never heard of. Really, Jo shouldn’t have been as surprised as she’d been when he’d walked into the first meeting high off his ass when he was eighteen. Two years of acting like half the world’s little brother and the other half’s boyfriend damaged him more than he’d like to admit.</p><p>“Where’s my assistant?” He reads out after he sees the question more times than he can count. Jo will be mad at him for addressing it, but he’s decided he doesn’t care anymore. Let her be mad for all her cares. He’s done being her doll to push and pull however she wants. </p><p>“He’s not here with me right now.” Leo answers, “He’s busy at the moment. We have a lot to get done.”</p><p>The comments that follow make him smile involuntarily. He can’t stop himself. It’s not his fault.</p><p>
  <i>He’s cute.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Will you post about him?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>What’s his name?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>What are you guys working on?</i>
</p><p>Leo’s heart tugs in his chest when he reads them. He knows Nico is cute. He knows Nico is nice and sweet and perfect, but he also knows that Nico is probably the worst person on the planet. He left Leo and no number of sweet smiles and nice reminders will make that go away. Leo thinks he can be a little mean once in a while. Just once he can hit back.</p><p>“I think I’m way cuter than my assistant. He’s average at best.” Leo says. He doesn’t mean it but it fits with the persona he’s finding himself falling back into, “I can’t tell you what we’re working on, it’s a secret.” He leans close to the camera as though he’s telling a secret and presses his finger to his lips, “But I can tell you that it’s super important to me and close to my heart. That’s a secret though, don’t tell anyone. Jo will get mad at me, so shhh.”</p><p>The comments flood with people promising not to tell anyone and Leo tries not to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. There are seven thousand people watching him, listening to him talk about this and he’s pretending like he’s only talking to one person like he’s not spilling the beans to the whole world.</p><p>Leo’s stomach turns at how easy it is to fall back into his old persona. The innocent and sweet one that Jo created. He doesn’t want to think about how he’s been trained into this like a performing dog.</p><p>“Aww, I love all of you too!” He tells them, “I’ve missed talking to you so much. I’ve just been super busy these past few weeks and I barely had time to sit down and breathe. But I’m glad I have the time now. Jo is really nice for allowing this.” Lying to over seven thousand people should feel more daunting but Leo’s gotten used to lying to the world three times over, “Maybe I can convince her to do a fan-meeting again or something. Or at least a fancier live. This one kinda sucks. My WIFI isn’t good here.” He laughs a bit and watches as people spam the comments with laughing emojis.</p><p>He talks about anything that comes to mind as he reads the comments. Talks about the photoshoot four weeks ago, the one where he debuted his new look with the suit (he doesn’t mention Nico or any of the arguments and cold looks that followed the week after that). He tells his fans about a dress Calypso bought and about a movie he watched recently. Someone asks if he’s auditioning for anything and Leo tells them he’s too busy with his project. He doesn’t know what the project is, but he knows he has to think of one now. Maybe that’s what will get him out of his slump. A new project is the way to go. To let go of everything that happened, to fit with his new persona, and to cover up his stunt. But most importantly to let go of Nico and everything to do with him. To get lost in his projects like he used to.</p><p>He smiles at the camera and gets up from his seat on the railing to go downstairs and make breakfast. He hasn’t eaten yet and he knows Jo will be happy to see he’s at least taking care of himself wherever he is. God, why is he always thinking about Jo? Wasn’t the whole style change to let Leo finally be his own person? Then why is he falling back into the persona Jo created for him?<br/>He angles the camera downward to hide his face in case the frustration shows. He tells his fans it’s because he’s walking down the stairs and that he doesn’t want to fall. Whether they believe it or not, they don’t ask. They simply watch as he sets his phone down on the kitchen isle and gets to work on finding food in the empty house. The house is freezing, he hasn’t turned the radiators on yet even though it’s been getting colder recently especially by the coast, but Leo has always run hot. He doesn’t mind the freezing stone floor or the cold marble counter.</p><p>“Did you like the new style?” He asks as he sets out ingredients to make a brunch of some sort, “I thought it looked really nice. I liked the suit.”</p><p>Leaning over a bit to catch a glimpse at the comments his frustration subsides at the positive feedback, but the sick feeling in his stomach doesn’t go away.</p><p>“I’ve been working really hard on all these changes and stuff so I’m glad you enjoy them!” he tells them, trying to get his stomach to calm down. Suddenly the eggs he’d been making don’t seem to appetizing anymore and he wants to take them and throw them away. It’d be a waste. Thousands of people are watching him, he can’t just throw it away. Not this time. </p><p>Eating in front of a camera like this makes a lot more memories resurface than Leo would like. Memories of his very first live after becoming half-way famous, sitting in his dingy apartment with Piper streaming themselves having lunch and answering questions. Memories of the first live he’d done where he’d been drunk, kebab in one hand, phone clutched in the other. Of lives sitting with Calypso while he sang and he ate a meager lunch to stay slim. <br/>After a few minutes of forcing the eggs down his throat without wincing his phone vibrates loud enough against the wall where it’s propped up to be heard through the live. He nearly drops his fork and curses quietly at himself before checking the notification. The chat is blowing up with people demanding to know who’s texting and all Leo can do is let out an awkward chuckle while he reads the message. He tilts his head, the phone at an awkward angle and he has to squint to actually read the small text at the top of his screen, there for only a second before it disappears again. He frowns when he sees the message.</p><p><b>Nico Di Angelo:</b><br/>Stop live streaming and answer my messages. Jo needs to talk to you. The live wasn’t scheduled.</p><p>Leo’s good mood from before is gone in an instant and he almost regrets leaving message notifications on in the first place. Only almost though. He reads the message once more, sets down his fork, and smiles at the camera in a way he knows means nothing but trouble for everyone involved.</p><p>He turns his attention back to the live stream in front of him and picks up the phone, moving to go upstairs to his bedroom.</p><p>“I ordered some stuff online; what do you say we have a little fashion show?” He asks, knowing full well what the reaction will be, “We haven’t had a proper Supersized McShizzle Show in a while, I think it’s high time we catch up on that.”</p><p>The moment the words leave his mouth his phone begins blowing up with messages from Jo again. He figures the only reason Nico isn’t spamming him further about the clothing is that he hasn’t been briefed on the whole situation. Even better for Leo. He knows that Nico is watching. He doesn’t know how, but he knows he’s watching. This means it’s Leo’s one and only chance to give Nico a taste of what he’ll be missing.</p><p>When he was younger, just after turning 18, Piper had bought Leo a black choker. She’d said it’d look cool with the leather jacket Leo’s stylists had had him wear. He’d put the choker on and a set of fishnet gloves just as a joke, and because they’d thought it’d be fun they’d done an Instagram Live where they showcased it. Jo had been livid when she found out but once they’d explained she’d allowed them. She’d allowed them to do a live stream once a month showing off whatever new clothes Leo’s stylists had gotten him but he hadn’t been able to wear. It’d all been nice and peachy until Leo decided he wanted to choose his own clothes. They’d been a bit riskier than his usual bad-boy aesthetic and when he’d had the audacity to wear a set of thigh-high socks with shorts once, Jo had had enough and called the whole thing off. She’d told him no more fashion shows and no more unauthorized live streams. <br/>Leo knows she’ll be furious once she finds out, but he can’t be bothered to care. This is more fun. He hasn’t had a proper fun time in a while and if it spites Nico then Leo can kill two birds with one stone.<br/>He pushes the thick wooden door to his bedroom open and sets the phone down next to the door on a small ledge where he usually keeps his house shoes in the morning. </p><p>The room isn’t big. He’d specifically not picked the master bedroom to sleep in. it’d been too big when he’d bought the house at 18 and even now the master bedroom only ever gets visited by the cleaning lady who comes by once a week. Still, Leo likes the room he sleeps in. It’s a guest room on the second floor, right above the living room. The windows look out over the garden leading to the ocean and the view never gets boring. Not when the clouds come and the fog is thick and not when the sun is shining too brightly and the waves crash against the shore. The carpet is a pretty forest green that Leo spent all of two minutes picking before impulsively deciding that dark brown and green must look good together. In general, the room is dark. Leo likes it better that way. Likes it better when he can just sit in darkness, the only light coming from the single, wide window on the far end of the room. Beneath the window, right next to the wall, Leo had bought a big soft bed, littered with more pillows and blankets than most would deem necessary, but it’d been the only semblance of being held that Leo had been able to achieve. There’s a plushie that Calypso gave him, a small lion with a golden chain around its neck, sitting on his pillow. He doesn’t want to admit that he holds it at night when he can’t sleep. Calypso had called the lion Sunny, claiming whenever Leo is sad, he could just look at the plushie to brighten up.<br/>Next to the bed, the bedside table is filled with old meaningless books that Leo had meant to read but never gotten around to. He figures that now that he’s taking an impromptu break he may as well try to read some of them. No matter the dyslexia.</p><p>His closet covers the entire right side of the small room, spanning to the admittedly low ceiling. It’s the same dark brown as the door but it looks more modern. Leo had it custom made. He’d figured he should keep his clothes safe. There’s a standing mirror in the corner where the window and the closet meet. One of Piper’s old pearl necklaces is hanging from it. Leo isn’t sure how it ended up there.</p><p>Standing in the middle of the room he smiles and gestures to the room, “Welcome to my bedroom! I designed it myself. I’m super proud of it.”<br/>He sees the blast of hearts spiking and the angry feeling in his stomach subsides a bit. Not enough to go away completely but at least a little bit.</p><p>“Now, I think it’s time we finally do a proper, real, high-class, Leo Valdez fashion show.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>so</p><p>hello</p><p>I mean to post this on Sunday, but then I fell asleep and it was my birthday the next day so I didn't do anything and then on Tuesday I was too tired and so finally today instead of doing my school work for online classes I'm doing this :)<br/>Also, I got my report card today and my worst grade was a 3- and I have an average of like a 2+ which I'm very proud of bc this semester has been super tough so yay me I guess</p><p>anyway, I put a lot of effort into this and it turned out to be a lot angstier and angrier than I intended so I hope you like it anyway haha.</p><p>so do yall like want more angst or...? lmao jk jk but seriously its probably gonna get a whole lot angstier before there's any conclusion or confession/it gets better so I hope you're prepared for a lot of arguing and tension :))</p><p>well I hope you liked it, feel free to talk to me in the comments be it about the fic or anything else idc just talk to me I'm sad and bored :))) i promise I'm nice uwu</p><p>lastly stan stray kids and nct they're great k thanks</p><p>ps this is 200 words shorter than I wanted it to be so I'm sorry don't be</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Born to Shine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>almost 10k of mild angst you're welcome</p><p>(not BETA'd, take a shot every time i misspell Silena)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nico’s heart very nearly gives out. Leo’s words echo in his brain, quite literally reducing him to mush in his chair. He doesn’t know what’s happening. He wasn’t briefed on this. Nothing Jo or Chiron or Cindy or anyone else on the planet had mentioned had involved a fashion show in Leo’s private bedroom. Nothing could have prepared Nico.<br/>
If Leo had any other look in his eyes, Nico might have been excited at the prospect. If the situation was different and if they’d met under different circumstances, then maybe Nico would be sitting in his bedroom now, grinning at his screen, watching Leo with love struck eyes and admiration, maybe with a poster of him on his wall. As the circumstances are now, Nico is sitting at Waystation Entertainment, gripping his phone tightly, laptop next to him, watching anxiously as Leo steps in and out of frame to change form one outfit to the next.</p><p>Nico is terrified.</p><p>He’s terrified because Leo looks like he’s losing it. He looks one small step away from the edge, one wrong comment, one heart too little, away from having a meltdown in front of—Nico had to check twice to be sure—nearly 950 000 people watching. Fuck, Nico needs to find him. He needs to find him before Leo loses it completely. But he can’t look away. Every little twirl Leo does and every tiny, if worrying smile, he gives the camera makes Nico’s heart swell and he can’t bring himself to look away and focus back on his laptop where he’s meant to be tracking Leo.<br/>
He tells himself it’s because he doesn’t want to miss anything Leo says in case it’s important. He knows it’s a lie. Nico is used to lying to himself. One more little lie won’t be the end of the world. Just one more minute will be fine.</p><p>The outfits Leo dons are, to be frank, not something Nico has seen before. It’s been years since he left the lotus Hotel, but he’d never cared much for fashion or celebrities, so his scope of fashion is within the limits of a t-shirt, jeans and maybe a jacket when he feels extra fancy. What Leo is wearing, shouldn’t even be called fashion anymore. If someone were to ask Nico, he’s sure that what Leo is doing is art. The way he moves, the clothes he chooses, the way he combines them. Everything about them screams masterpiece and Nico wants to frame him and put him in a museum.</p><p>Since the first outfit, it’s only gotten more outrageous. In a good way. Nico hasn’t seen a single outfit he hasn’t liked so far. Sure, there had been ones where he’d seriously questioned the designer, but Leo is like a mannequin. Everything looks good on him. Nico thinks he could wear a garbage bag and it’d be the next big trend within a week.</p><p>Leo moves out of frame, not once ceasing his mindless rambling, and returns a minute later wearing an entirely new outfit. Nico wonders momentarily how many clothes he really has if he can spend more than half an hour just showing off outfit after outfit. The thought is banished from his mind when Leo steps into frame fully and Nico thinks that if he wasn’t sure that he was gay before, he’s certainly sure now.<br/>
The thing is, Nico doesn’t understand the outfit. It’s strange and nothing he’s ever thought could even be an outfit but that’s not what matters. What matters is that it looks nice, and even more importantly, Leo looks nice in it. No, nice is an understatement. He looks breathtaking. Nico doesn’t want to look at Leo and only see his appearance, he’d be no better than everyone else on the planet drooling over him, but he can’t lie to himself and pretend that he doesn’t see what Leo looks like. Doesn’t see that Leo is the hottest person the grace the earth since James Dean.</p><p>The outfit is less outrageous than others Leo has worn so far, but something about it just feels contradictory.<br/>
The white mesh blouse with the long almost floor length black cardigan with matching flowers to the blouse look soft and comfortable, almost like lounge wear—expensive lounge wear—but they look comfortable. The white, skintight jeans Leo chose to wear them with do not. Nico can’t help but wonder how Leo got into them in the first place. Still, the outfit looks perfect. Every part of it works, it looks fantastic against his tan skin and the pieces mesh well together, but something feels off. The way Leo twists and turns in the outfit doesn’t feel real. He looks like a nymph, like the ones at camp, singing in the woods, smiling and laughing as they grow the strawberries. He looks peaceful. Not at all the image that Nico has seen so far. Leo looks serene almost. It feels off. Not in a bad way. Nico thinks he’s watching something he shouldn’t be seeing.</p><p>“I’ve wanted to wear this in forever,” Leo says to the camera as he twirls, “But Jo always said it doesn’t fit my style. I like it. I think it fits me.”</p><p>The comments blow up with hearts and people saying they love it. That they want to see more. That Jo was wrong. The little heart icon in the side is going nuts, with people spamming it. The smile it puts on Leo’s face looks entirely ecstatic, manic almost. He grins and his pearly white teeth look too bright, too polished. Nico wants to grab him and make him drink coffee or something. To make Leo look human again. To make him real. Not this caricature that Jo created.</p><p>For the first time, Nico looks at Leo and he doesn’t see a broken boy, he sees a boy locked inside a persona someone else shoved him into. Like a doll in a doll house, surrounded by toys and pretty lace, never to be touched. And maybe, Nico thinks, subconsciously he’s always seen that. That somehow, deep down, he’d known that the Leo he’d met wasn’t real. But maybe he’d wanted him to be. He’d wanted Leo Valdez the super Star to be real, because then Nico wouldn’t have to look closer and feel bad for him. Looking at him now, Nico can’t force himself to be blind anymore. He can’t look away.  </p><p>“I watched a movie the other day,” Leo says pulling Nico back to reality, now sitting in front of the camera, putting on a white choker absentmindedly, “It was this romance drama, I saw it on Netlifx. It was nice.”</p><p>Leo makes a face and shakes his head. Nico tries to find the comment he must have seen. There are too many coming in too quickly and it’s gone as soon as it appeared. Luckily, Leo seems to have caught it though.</p><p>“I can’t tell you what the movie was called. Jo says I’m not meant to recommend stuff anymore. It was good though. I wish I had watched it with someone else.”</p><p>More comments pop up.</p><p>“No, I’m alone up here. Calypso is in New York; she has stuff to work on. We face time but she’s very busy right now.” He says, eyes flicking across the comments, “No, I already told you Nico’s not here. He’s with Jo. I told him not to come. I don’t need an assistant right now.”</p><p>The crease between his eyebrows deepens but so does the emptiness in his eyes and Nico wants to reach through the screen and hold him close. To squeeze him and tell him it’ll all be alright.</p><p>“We didn’t fight. It’s fine. He just has other stuff to do, and I don’t need him here right now.” Leo argues. Nico sees comments arguing back but Leo seems done with the topic. He rolls his eyes and grabs the phone. Unsurely, he gets to his feet and stumbles his way out of the room and down the hallway toward the stairs. The camera shakes and all Nico can see is the ceiling.</p><p>“I’m going swimming. I’m feeling kind of hot.” He tells the camera, as he opens the terrace door downstairs and moves to the pool.</p><p>The phone gets abandoned by the door, giving a perfect view of the pool and the coastline behind it. It’s still foggy and the sky is gray. Nico thinks it must be cold there. The sun is barely visible through the thick clouds. Leo looks ethereal in the grey, stark light, painting him like a ghost. He pulls his cardigan off first, followed quickly by the mesh shirt, leaving him only in the white pants. He makes no move to get rid of them, instead he moves closer to the pool. With a loud splash, he drops into the pale water, disappearing underneath the blurry surface. Nico panics for a second, afraid that Leo won’t come up again.</p><p>Just as Nico is about to text Leo again, too afraid for him, he feels a hand on his shoulder. He whips around fast enough to give himself whiplash.</p><p>The first thing he sees is long pale brown hair, a white dress, and tan skin. His eyes travel up to find Calypso. She’s not wearing any make up, her eyes tired and her skin red around the edges. She looks like a mess. Nico wonders whether she’s just as worried about Leo.</p><p>“What are you doing?” She asks him. Nico stares at her, at a loss for words. Her eyes stay on him as she sits in the seat next to him at the conference table. The room is empty save for the two of them. Outside the sky is clear blue and the streets are busy. Yet somehow, the room feels empty.</p><p>“Jo told me to find Leo.”</p><p>Calypso hums and leans back in her chair, “Why did Chiron send you?”</p><p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Nico lies.<br/>
She shakes her head, a tired smile slowly carving itself on her lips, “You’re better than the last one he sent.” She tells him, “The last guy lasted three weeks before Chiron took him back. Why are you still here?”</p><p>“I seriously have no idea what you’re talking about.”<br/>
“Is Chiron giving you something in return? He must be. Everyone eventually gives up on Leo. They don’t have what it takes to stick around. They don’t bother with him. What’s Chiron giving you, that you’re putting all this work into it?”</p><p>Nico scoffs. The idea that Chrion is paying him, is ridiculous. At the beginning maybe that’s what drove Nico, but now all Nico wants is to know that Leo is safe and sound. Hell, Nico’s not even sure he wants to take him to camp. At least not full time. Camp is no place for Leo. It’s too violent. Too real. Leo doesn’t deserve that world.</p><p>“Chiron’s not paying me shit, if that’s what you’re thinking.”</p><p>“So, you admit you’re here to take Leo to Camp, then?”</p><p>Nico’s eyes go wide, and he realizes what he said. Too late to back out now. Might as well just admit it. Calypso knows everything already anyway.</p><p>“So what? I’m doing my job. What more do you want?”</p><p>“I want to know what you plan to do with Leo.” Calypso says, “I know he’s a half-blood. So are Piper and Jason. I’ve known since the day I met him. Jo has known even longer. It’s why he’s with this agency and not any other. The question is what you’re planning with him.”</p><p>“You’re making it sound like I’m trying to take advantage of him.”</p><p>“Are you?”</p><p>His hands run cold, “What in Tartarus is wrong with you?” He accuses, “I don’t know what the fuck kind of people you’ve had around here in the past, but you should know by now that the last thing I want to do is hurt him. I mean, fuck, I’ve been sitting here since six thirty in the morning, trying to find him.”</p><p>Calypso levels him with a look and stays quiet. Nico stares back at her, the live on his phone completely forgotten. She leans back further in her chair, not once letting him out of her sight. After a while, Nico shakes it off and goes back to the tabs in his laptop, where he’d been trying to find Leo by weather. He was grasping at straws, but it was all he had.</p><p>“What will you do with him once you take him to camp?” Her soft voice shatters the silence like a spear through the chest.</p><p>Nico’s stomach turns at the prospect of going to camp, “Who says I’m taking him to camp?”</p><p>“Isn’t that what Chiron wants?”</p><p>“What makes you think I care about what Chiron thinks?” He asks.</p><p>“You’re here on his behalf,” She answers, “I think you care a great deal what he wants.”</p><p>“Chiron can fuck off.”</p><p>The corners of her mouth quirk, and a tiny little glint lights up in Calypso’s eyes, “You don’t like him?”</p><p>“I don’t understand him,” Nico settles on. Calypso already knows. There’s no backing out now anymore, “Why now? He’s known about Leo for years, since he first got into the public eye, so why now? Why me? It doesn’t add up. He and Jo are in on something and I don’t know what.”</p><p>“So, you don’t trust him,” She says more than asks. Nico nods. “Then why did you agree to it in the first place?”</p><p>“I wanted to get out of camp.”</p><p>“What do you mean? Don’t you live there?”</p><p>Nico nods, “That’s the point. You of all people should know what it’s like to have a parent no one trusts. I may not have gotten locked away like you did, but they sure as hell don’t trust me. I have a cabin now, but it doesn’t mean the kids at camp trust me or Hades any more than they did during the Battle of Manhattan.”</p><p>“So, you wanted a vacation form it or what?” She asks, “You’re using Leo to have a little sabbatical before going back?”</p><p>“<em>No</em>. I was going to use my paycheque to get an apartment somewhere. To leave. I won’t leave camp forever, but I don’t want to spend my life there anymore. It’s not home.”</p><p>Calypso narrows her eyes at him. Nico knows that she’s suspicious of him. He understands. He understands that she’s trying to look out for Leo. It doesn’t make the uneasy feeling in his chest any less though, “If I give you more than enough for an apartment in downtown New York, will you leave? If I make your dream come true, will you leave and never come back? Will you tell Chiron that it was impossible and to leave us be?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“No?”</p><p>Nico shook his head, “No. I told you that that was what I <em>was</em> going to do. That’s not my plan anymore.”</p><p>“Then what is your plan now? To go back to camp and live there?”</p><p>“I’m going to find Leo.”</p><p>“I won’t let you.” She tells him decisively.</p><p>“I’m not planning on taking him to camp, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Nico shuffles around his chair and shuts the laptop, he needs Calypso to understand than he means it, “I know you care about him and that you want to protect him. So do I. I’ll find him, whether you help me or not, and I’ll make sure he’s safe.”</p><p>“He’s safe with us. He doesn’t need you.”</p><p>“Clearly he needs someone.” Nico argues, “He’s off to bum-fuck nowhere, without telling anyone. Look me in the eyes and tell me right now that I should leave and never come back. To turn my back on Leo just like all the other idiotic, useless assistants you hate. Look me in the eye and tell me you want me to betray Leo, and I’ll do it.”</p><p>Calypso stares at him, eyes filled with something Nico can’t place. She looks sad and terrified and resigned to whatever she’s thinking. The room suddenly feels a lot colder. The cold had never bothered Nico much before, but now his skin is prickling uncomfortably and his hands itch to warm up. The urge in his chest to run, at the way Calypso is watching him, grows stronger with every second.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re in love with him.”</p><p> </p><p>The air in his chest gets pushed out faster than Nico can process the words and with the breath of air that leaves him, so does any feeling of security he’d had lingering in his limbs. Calypso is looking at him like she doesn’t need any more confirmation than that. Nico thinks he might die. The floor beneath him feels like it might open up any second now and wouldn’t that be embarrassing. Fuck. Nico can’t think. It’s one thing to be aware of it deep down in his heart when he can’t sleep at night, and another to be told straight to his face. Nico doesn’t like the sensation it evokes in him. It feels wrong. The way Calypso says it feels wrong. Like it’s a tragedy. As though loving Leo Valdez is a tragedy rather than a Comedy.</p><p>“I should’ve known,” She says wistfully, “You’re a lovesick fool. That’s why you stayed.”</p><p>“Who cares what I feel or don’t feel for him?” Nico grits out, “That’s not what this is about. I don’t need to be in love with him to want him to be safe.”</p><p>Admitting to Calypso that he’s in love with her PR boyfriend feels wrong too. He knows, realistically, that Leo and Calypso haven’t dated in ages. But somehow it feels like they are still something. Like maybe they do have feelings for one another, and Nico is butting into something he has no business shoving his nose into.</p><p>“It makes a massive difference,” She answers, “Of course, it matters what you feel for him.”</p><p>“It doesn’t.”</p><p>Calypso has the audacity to laugh, and Nico thinks he might jump across the table and strangle her, “When you first showed up you seemed to hate your job. The job, the people, Leo, Jo, me, the situation, the cameras, everything about our world, you seemed to hate. But then you and Leo went to London that one time. You came back and Leo seemed a bit happier and you seemed to hate your job a little less every day. You’d come in with a small smile and you’d chuckle at Leo’s jokes.”</p><p>Nico doesn’t like where she’s going. He doesn’t like that she noticed. That he was obvious about it.</p><p>“I know that look you have in your eyes when you look at him,” She continues, “I have it to. Or I used to have it. You look at Leo and you see the Sun; the entire universe revolves around him and only him. You wonder what you did right in life to deserve someone like him smiling at you, don’t you? You want to hold him close every time the tabloids write something horrible about him and you want to kill anyone who dares hurt him.”</p><p>“Everyone would do that. That’s human decency.”</p><p>“But you’re not everyone. You’re a son of Hades. You pick and choose the people you love so carefully, and you chose Leo.”</p><p>“I didn’t pick anything.”</p><p>“Not consciously.”</p><p>“What’s all this about anyway?” Nico asks defensively, “So what if I love him? Who cares, it doesn’t matter. I’ll find him and make sure he’s safe and then I’ll leave. I’ll bring him back to the Waystation and none of you will ever have to see me again.”</p><p>“Are you mental? Of course, it matters!”</p><p>“It doesn’t.”</p><p>“Loving someone always matters, you absolute idiot!” She argues, her voice growing louder with every word, “You love him and it’s the only way I know you won’t hurt him! It’s the only way I can be sure that you’ll bring him home to me!”</p><p>Nico’s chest shudders and the world becomes blurry around the edges, “You’re wrong. It makes no difference whether I love him or not. He’s my mission and nothing else.”</p><p>“He stopped being your mission the night of the premier and you know it.” Calypso argues, “It was never about Chiron and his stupid demands, or Jo and her incessant controlling nature, it was always about Leo. Everything was about Leo and you should stop lying to yourself before it ruins you.”</p><p>“Stop! Stop, telling me what I feel. It doesn’t matter. Leo doesn’t know and he won’t ever find out, so it doesn’t matter. I’ll bring him home and then I’m leaving.”</p><p>“Why not? Why can’t you stay?”</p><p>“I thought you wanted me gone.” He answers instead.</p><p>“That was before I realized you love him,” Calypso says, “Why won’t you stay?”</p><p>“I’m not meant for this world. I don’t fit into this, any of this.” He says, “I’m a demigod, I fight, and I kill monsters and I’m lucky if I live to be 35. That’s what I am and that’s what I’ll always be. I don’t fit into Leo’s world and he doesn’t fit into mine.”</p><p>“You’re wrong.”</p><p>“Yeah? How do you know? You were stuck on an island for thousands of years; you don’t know the first thing about me or the world today.”</p><p>Hurt flashed across her face but Nico was too furious to linger on it.</p><p>“Leo would want you to stay. He wants you to stay here.” She says.</p><p>“That’s bullshit. Leo doesn’t want me. He’s said so more than enough times.”</p><p>“Then why are you still holding on to him?”</p><p>“Shouldn’t you know? You just told me. I fucking love him and I don’t know how to stop and the only way I can feel okay right now is if I know he’s safe.”</p><p>Calypso sighs, her eyes soft and tired, “Why won’t you let yourself be happy with him?”</p><p>“There’s nothing there for me.”</p><p>“You don’t see the way he looks at you, do you?”</p><p>“There is no <em>way</em> he looks at me.” He tells her, “He hates me. He doesn’t want me around.”</p><p>“He’s scared and angry right now! Are you too blind to see? You said it yourself earlier, he needs you.”</p><p>“He needs someone to bring him home. Nothing else.”</p><p>Calypso opens her mouth to argue but Nico stops her before she can,</p><p>“Don’t. I’m bringing him back and then I’m leaving. There’s nothing you can say to change my mind.”</p><p>He grabs his laptop, the phone, and his jacket before stalking out of the room, leaving Calypso sitting alone in the conference room. Nico can’t be there right now. He needs to think. He needs to be alone and most importantly he needs to find Leo right now.</p><p>He stumbles down the endless grey hallways, past rows of offices until he finds one that’s empty and locks the door behind him, his stuff discarded on the ground by the wall. His stomach lurches, and he thinks he might throw up. He can’t throw up. Not now. Not here. He hasn’t thrown up in years and today would not be the day to change that. He needs to find Leo. But he can’t think. His head is filled with static, the air around him like pinpricks stinging him with every intake of breath. Below him the ground shakes and swims, and Nico thinks he’s standing in the middle of Manhattan gain. He scrambled across the floor to rip the window open, sucking in a deep breath the moment his hand leaves the handle. The air is cold. Colder than he’d thought. It’s not enough. Nothing is enough. His chest burns and his hands shake, and nothing is alright. Fuck. He can’t think. He needs to think. He needs to get it together. This isn’t right.</p><p>There’s a knock on the door Nico slaps a hand over his mouth to stop himself from sobbing. He doesn’t want anyone to know. He can’t let anyone know. If it’s Calypso she’ll rip him a new one and if it’s a staff member he’ll get kicked out. Right now, he can’t leave. Can’t go back to Leo’s house in the suburbs and pretend like everything is fine.</p><p>That house. That godawful house he’s been living in. They stayed there together, and it’d been fine. They hadn’t talked, it’d been tense but it’d been fine. No arguments, only lingering glances and glares on Leo’s part. It had worked. And then one day Leo was gone. Nico had woken up that Saturday, thinking of making breakfast for Leo, to make amends. But after an hour of waiting in the kitchen Leo still hadn’t stumbled his way out of his room. An hour later, Nico had gone to check on him only to find his closet doors wide open, clothes strewn across the room and the bed unmade. Leo was gone. Neither Claypso, nor Piper and Jason knew where he’d gone. An hour later, Nico had gotten a notification informing him that Nico was doing an Instagram live and when he’d logged on to watch, Leo had been sitting in an unfamiliar house at an unfamiliar coast with unfamiliar clothes. Nico hadn’t known what to do. He’d called Leo over and over and over again for nothing. Every text, every call, it all went unanswered. Jo had taken to twitter to reassure everyone that Leo was fine and well, simply working on a project alone for a bit. There had been no project. Leo was gone and that was it. Nico had hated lying. He’d hated having to type out tweets to post on the official twitter, pretending to be Leo. Those days since, not knowing where Leo was, whether he was safe, whether anyone was with him, were the worst days of Nico’s life. It was like Manhattan all over again. The one person he loved, slipping through his fingers like sand in a storm.</p><p>There’s another knock. Nico curses.</p><p>“Nico, I know you’re in there.” Someone says and it takes him a second to realize that it’s Selena, “Will you let me in please? I need to talk to you. It’s important.”</p><p>“I’m busy.” He calls back.</p><p>“It’s about Chiron.”</p><p>Nico nearly trips over himself in his haste to get to the door and unlock it, ushering Silena inside as fast as he can. She stumbles inside and closes the door behind herself, locking it again. She's a mess. Her hair is out of order and her make up is smudged around the edges. Nico doesn’t want to know what she’d found out, to look like that. A daughter of Aphrodite looking disheveled is unheard of. He tries not to think too negatively.</p><p>“Annabeth called.” She says finally.</p><p>“What did she say?” He asks, “Did Chiron tell her anything?”</p><p>Silena nods and pulls out her phone, “She called me, I missed the call because I was working with Cindy, but she left a message.”</p><p>Nico’s heart beats in his ear as Selena taps across the screen, eventually finding the voice message and letting it echo through the room.</p><p>“Silena, hey, I hope you get this message,” Annabeth’s voice said, rumbling through the speaker, “This is kind of important so please get this to Nico as soon as possible. He’s not answering his phone.”</p><p>There’s a long pause, and Nico almost thinks that’s it, but then she continues and Nico wishes she never did,</p><p>“I was snooping around the Big House earlier because the stuff you’ve been telling me is kind of suspicious, right. So I’m messing around with the stuff when I find a drawer filled with old newspaper articles. All of them were about random people. I tried to figure out what the connection is but I couldn’t find it. A few of them are actors or singers signed with Waystation, but then there are others working at companies or going to high school. But here’s the thing. They’re all part of associations or clubs. The high schoolers are all going to the same sports club across town. The people at the companies are all part of the same Union and every entertainer is signed with Waystation. So, I started thinking, and I called Hazel and asked her to get me some records of organizations like Camp or Camp Jupiter. I figured maybe they’re all safe palces like Camp is for us, just less regulated.”</p><p>There’s rustling on the message and it sounds like Annabeth is flipping through something while she talks,</p><p>“Hazel sent me a bunch of records yesterday. Gods, there are so many organizations. We always thought it was just the two camps, but in Zeus’ name, there are so many. Waystation is just one of them. When I started digging I found piles upon piles of companies offering safe places for Demigods in exchange for signing with them. When I looked into Waystation contracts, I found ones specifically designed for Demigods. They basically bind the Demigods to the agency to make them easier to protect. It’s super fascinating, but that’s not what I wanted to tell you.”</p><p>Then there’s more rustling and Nico’s not sure what’s happening, but it doesn’t sound too good, “I think Chiron’s afraid.” Annabeth says and the words weigh heavy in the air. Nico doesn’t know what to think.</p><p>“I think he’s afraid that he won’t be needed anymore. He’s immortal only as long as he’s needed and I think he’s afraid that with all the new safe places, he won’t be needed anymore. Demigods are figuring the world out for themselves, and more and more of us are living life away from Camp.”</p><p>The rustling gets louder and Annabeth yells something indistinct, “Listen, I have to go, I have to return the files to the Big House before Chiron comes back. Please relay this to Nico. He needs to know. Call me as soon as you listen to this. I gotta go. Be safe.”</p><p>The message cuts off and so does Nico’s heart. The silence is piercing. Silena has a hand on his shoulder, but Nico barely registers it.</p><p>Chiron is afraid. Chiron needs people at Camp to make sure he’ll still live. As much as Chiron claims that he’s happy to live as long as he’s needed, he’s afraid. Nico wants so desperately to be mad. To resent Nico for using them to live. But he can’t. Fuck, he too would be afraid if he knew he’d die the moment the Gods deem him unnecessary. He can’t fault Chiron for wanting to live. But he doesn’t want Leo there. He can’t let Leo go to camp. Letting Leo go to camp would open a flood gate of kids from Waystation following and Camp isn’t their world. Swords and death for them exist on a screen and in a studio, not in real life, lurking heind every street corner waiting to take them to the Underworld to meet Thanatos. Death and loss aren’t their world.</p><p>Annabeth is right though. More and more campers have been living away and cloaking devices have been getting better, there is no need for duels and mock battles anymore. Nowadays there are monsters on the subway, but you move on from them too quickly to notice. You stumble past the dark corners where a Cylclopse lurks because you’ll be late to your meeting if you look too long. You convince yourself that it’s the booze when the woman at the club has nails that look like claws. There is no time for monsters anymore. And if there’s no time for monsters, there’s no need for Chiron. Within the decade, the world will have moved on and Chiron will cease to be needed at all. Nico doesn’t want that.</p><p>He may not love Chiron the way Annabeth does, or admire him the way Percy does, but he cares for him. Nico gets mad at him and tells him to fuck off and he doesn’t agree with most things Chiron does, and he’ll never forgive Chiron for letting the other kids at camp treat Nico the way they did, but at the end of the day, Nico would give his life for Chiron. Because at the end of the day, Chiron would do the same. At the end of the day, Chiron is the closest thing Nico has ever had to a dad.<br/>
Nico knows that Chiron isn’t afraid to die because he’s afraid of death, he’s afraid what his death means for the world around him. Nico knows that Chiron worries, that when he dies, years later, someone will need him, and he won’t be there. Nico knows that Chiron is scared of death because it means he won’t be there when someone needs him.</p><p>“I don’t know what to do,” Nico mumbles more to himself than anyone but the grip on his shoulder tightens and the next thing he knows is Silena is pulling him into the tightest hug of his life, and he feels warm. The world feels wamr, and fuck he hasn’t hugged anyone in a long time.</p><p>“We’ll figure it out,” She tells him.</p><p>Nico doesn’t think they will.</p><p>“What if I don’t take Leo to camp?” He asks, “Eventually no one will come anymore, I’ll move away and so will you and when there are no new campers, what will happen? Leo is just one demigod but fuck he’s all of them at the same time. Leo is just the start. More and more won’t come, they have new places now, places that don’t play wargames and have lava climbing walls that nearly kill you. Places that let you live a normal life.”</p><p>“I know. I’m afraid too.”</p><p>“I just—I’m scared. I don’t want to lose Chiron,” His cheeks feel wet, and he belatedly realizes that he’s crying, “I don’t want Chiron to go but I don’t want Leo to be forced into this. He doesn’t deserve this.”</p><p>Silena grips him tighter. Nico lets her. For once, he lets himself be held and cry. Her dress has a wet patch on her shoulder and he’s sure her neck is covered in his tears as well, but she doesn’t seem to care, just holds him closer and grips him tight like he’ll fall apart if she does. Maybe he will. He thinks his limbs might turn to glass and shatter if she lets go now.</p><p>“I love them.” He mumbles into her dress. Her fingers dig into his back. It grounds him,</p><p>“I love Chiron. He’s like a dad and I can’t watch him go. I can’t. I can’t let him go too, not like Bianca, not like mom. I can’t.” He chokes on his words, “But fuck I love Leo. I don’t want him in this. I want him to be safe, to be ignorant to all the pain and the hurt and the death. I want him to live without knowing he’ll die by thirty-five.”</p><p>His voice breaks and the words come out barely above a whisper, “I don’t know what to do.” Silena grips him tighter, “Tell me what to do. I don’t know what to do. Please—I—Please, I don’t know.”</p><p>“It’s going to be okay.” Silena promises. Nico can’t bring himself to believe her.</p><p>“How can it be okay?” He finally lifts his head, looks up into her endless golden eyes, desperately searching for an answer he knows she doesn’t have, “How can it be okay when I’m meant to pick one of them?”</p><p>“You don’t have to pick.”</p><p>“How?” He asks, “If I take Leo to camp, he’ll never forgive me. He’ll be in danger for the rest of his life, and I can’t do that to him. Calypso will hunt me down and kill me. Leo will get hurt. I can’t let him get hurt.” Nico can’t suppress the sobs breaking through every syllable, “But if I don’t take him there, if I leave Camp, then that only proves that we can survive without Chiron and that he’s not needed anymore. Then one day I’ll get a call that Chiron’s gone, and I can’t—”</p><p>“Nico listen to me. We’ll figure it out. I promise. It’s going to be okay. You don’t have to choose between either.”</p><p>Nico knows that she’s trying to be strong for the both of them. He can see the fear and worry in her eyes clear as day. The way they flicker across his face, never settling long enough, never letting herself focus on one thing, in case it gives her brian time to think. Nico has known her long enough to know that right now, the way her lips trembles and her hands fist his shirt, she’s absolutely terrified.</p><p>“We’ll bring back Leo, and then we’ll figure it out,” She says while trying to keep her vpice steady, “We’ll take it one step at a time. First, we’re making sure Leo is okay. While you find Leo, I’ll talk to Annabeth to figure out more. But for now, you focus on Leo and getting him home safe. Okay?”</p><p>Nico doesn’t respond. He doesn’t trust his voice.</p><p>“Is that okay? Can you do that for me?”</p><p>He nods slowly, “Yeah. Yeah, I think I can do that.”</p><p>“Good. So, go find Calypso, tell her what’s going on and ask her to help you find Leo. Do you think you can do that?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Silena smiles gently and pulls him into one more tight hug and holds him close, “I’m proud of you, Neeks.” She says and Nico feels a little more at ease, “You’re doing so, so well and I’m proud of you. No matter what, just know that I’m pound of you and that I love you.”</p><p>Nico doesn’t know what to answer so he just nods over and over again to try and show that he understands. He does. He really, really does understand. He feels the same for her. Silena has always been nice to him. She’d never been mean because of his father. As long as she can remember, Silena had always been there for him. Like a big sister, when he lost the one, he’d had. Silena was the best big sister he could’ve asked for after what happened to Bianca. Nico felt at ease, knowing that no matter what happened, no matter how much he fucked up, Silena would always be there to hold him close, knowing what to say to bring him back from that space deep inside of himself.</p><p>She lets him go, presses a soft kiss to his forehead and squeezes his shoulder, wipes his tears away, before unlocking the door and pushing him out into the cold hallway.</p><p>“Go and get Leo.” She tells him and Nico nods.</p>
<hr/><p>It takes him two days to find Calypso. She’s nowhere to be found and she doesn’t answer his calls and after the second day he’s ready to give up all hope and go back to trying to find Leo by weather. It’s a stupid idea but it’s all he has. Looking at real-estate purchases hadn’t worked because clearly, if Leo had bought the house he was staying in, he’d done it without Jo or anyone in the company knowing. Trying to pin-point his location via GPS hadn’t worked either. Leo must have turned his GPS off the moment he’d stepped out of the house all those days ago, because the last known location Nico finds is his stupidly, pretty house in the suburbs where Nico is still staying. Nothing works. He tries to call again but to no avail. He tries to call Calypso, but she doesn’t answer either. He asks Jo where Calypso is, but Jo doesn’t know either, just knows that Calypso has been going to the recording studio regularly these past few days, but every time Nico goes there, she’s just left. With every fruitless attempt, Nico’s determination swindles and he’s close to calling it quits. But then when he closes his eyes at night, tries to sleep and start over the next day, he sees Leo sitting in that doll house of a world he lives in, and Nico can’t sleep without promising himself to do anything to get Leo out of that.</p><p>On the third day of looking for Calypso—because reasonably, she’s the one who’ll know most likely where Leo is—she reaches out to him first.<br/>
He’s sitting in the living room of Leo’s townhouse, laptop open on google maps, a mug of cold coffee next to him. He made it an house earlier but hasn’t touched it since. He’d been too focused on re-watching Leo’s live—Gods bless whoever recorded the entire live on their phone and posted it on YouTube—to think about the coffee.</p><p>The front door opens and shuts and before Nico can so much as even utter a word, Calypso is throwing her flimsy jacket on the table and taking his coffee, sipping at it.</p><p>“Cold coffee makes you beautiful.” She says. So had Leo. Nico wonders whether that’s something that’s beaten into them. Sayings like that. As though either of them could get any prettier than they already are.</p><p>“Jo said you’re looking for me.”<br/>
“Where the fuck have you been these past two days?” he accuses.</p><p>Calypso smiles sardonically and sets the mug down, depositing herself on the table, her legs swimming. She looks far too innocent for the smile playing her lips.</p><p>“I needed to know whether you were serious.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I had to figure out whether you’re actually in love with him,” She says, then pauses and tilts her head, “Or just attracted and horny for him.”</p><p>“Why the fuck would you think I’d lie to you?”</p><p>That makes her laugh, and she shakes her head, “It’s not that I thought you were lying to me. Feelings are complicated and with someone like Leo involved, it’s hard to know whether it’s love or lust. They are easy to mix up.”</p><p>“I care about him more than I want to fuck him.”</p><p>“So it’s both then?”</p><p>“What do you want?” he asks to avoid further questioning.</p><p>“The question is, what do you want?” Calypso leans forward, close enough that he can make out every single one of her freckles, “You’re the one trying to reach out to me. Now I’m here and you’re asking me what I want. Do better.”</p><p>Nico grits his teeth slams the laptop shut to get a better look at her, “Tell me where Leo is.”</p><p>“Why do you think I know?”</p><p>“You know everything,” He answers, “You’re like a bloodhound when it comes to Leo. Anything he does, you know. You know shit not even Jo or Piper and Jason know. So, tell me where he is.”</p><p>“Just because I know, doesn’t mean I should tell you.”</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“There’s a reason he left. A reason he told no one where he went.”</p><p>“But he went somewhere he knew you’d recognize. He wants to be found.”</p><p>The sardonic smile on her face turns into something prouder, something more interested, “Now we’re getting somewhere. You’re not as dumb as I thought you were.”</p><p>“Quit playing games and tell me where he is.”</p><p>“Tell me what Chiron wants first.”</p><p>Nico hesitates then. He’s not sure she should know. No matter how Nico puts it, she’ll always chose Leo over anything and she’ll urge Nico to do the same. But Nico can’t do the same. He just can’t. He promised himself he wouldn’t pick.</p><p>“Well?” She urges and Nico breaks.</p><p>The need to find Leo, to hold him close and tell him that it’ll be okay, to know that he’s safe, outweighs his worry of what Calypso says. So, he tells her. Tells her about what Annabeth found and the voice message and about Chiron’s origins. He talks and talks and talks and by the end he’s talked himself into a loop but Calypso looks satisfied.</p><p>“So, tell me right fucking now where Leo is or the Gods help me I will choke it out of you,” He says once he’s finished.</p><p>Calypso smiles and leans back on the table, “What will you do once you find him?” She asks, “Now that we know what Chiron wants, it’s different.”</p><p>“It’s not. Nothing has changed.”</p><p>Calypso sees right through him and he can’t even pretend that she doesn’t, “But it has. You don’t want to let Chiron go but you don’t want Leo at Camp either. You don’t want any of us at camp. We both know that once Leo comes, Chiron will take the whole hand and tell you to bring the others at Waystation as well. After Leo, Piper, Jason, Reyna and Litherses are next.”</p><p>“I won’t.”</p><p>“Won’t what?” She asks, “Bring him to camp, or bring the others, only Leo?”</p><p>“Neither. I’m not taking him to camp.”</p><p>“So, you’re choosing Leo over Chiron? That’s a cold-hearted decision.”</p><p>“I’m not putting either over the other.” He argues, his hands balled into fists at his sides as he tries not to strangle her, “I’m finding Leo, and then I’ll figure out what I’ll do.”</p><p>“You need to figure it out now. I’m not letting you anywhere near Leo with a half assed plan that’s bound to fail.”</p><p>“Who says it’s bound to fail?”</p><p>“I do.”</p><p>He glares at her, watches her eyes follow him with every breath he takes, and he thinks the Gods were right to be afraid of her. Dressed in her white flowy dress and half-up-half-down hair with flowers and pearls, Nico has no doubt he’d be the one to teach him how to kill the Gods by example. She wouldn’t even get a speck of golden blood on her dress and the thought of her terrifies Nico more than he’d like to admit.</p><p>“I’ll talk to Chiron,” He says finally, “I’ll find Leo and call Chiron. I won’t ever take Leo to Camp without talking to Chiron and Leo first. No one is dying and I’m not choosing anyone.”</p><p>“You think Chiron will listen to you?” Calypso challenges, “don’t you think we haven’t tried to talk to him yet? What makes you think you can do it?”</p><p>“I know him, and I won’t let anything hurt Leo. Either he listens or he can kiss this whole plan goodbye.”</p><p>That finally puts a real, genuine smile on Calypso’s face as she reaches out and opens Leo’s laptop. She moves off the table and opens google maps again, typing in an address into the search bar. The page loads and then there’s a street view of a tiny, secluded town near the coast in Maine. She zooms in and presses on the street view button, until a massive, rustic, country style house appears on the screen. It’s all green and brown and it looks out over the ocean. The weather is different, the sun is shining but there’s not a single doubt in Nico’s mind that it’s the house Leo’s staying in. Without even having to ask, Nico knows. Calypso wouldn’t lie to him.</p><p>“My car’s outside. Don’t wreck it.”</p><p>Eyes wide, he turns to look at her. She’s already grabbing her jacket and walking toward the front door, “What?”</p><p>“Don’t wreck my car. Is that so hard to understand?”</p><p>“I don’t—Why would I wreck your car?”</p><p>She shrugs, “It’s a long drive.” Calypso says, “The keys are on the roof.”</p><p>Nico scrambles to his feet to follow her outside, to see her stepping into a van. It probably belongs to Jo or the company. No matter. He needs to thank her. Like right fucking now.</p><p>“Calypso!” He calls out to her. She stops but doesn’t turn to him. “Thank you. For everything.”</p><p>Her shoulders relax and her grip on the car loosens by a millimeter, “Bring him home to me.”</p><p>And then she’s gone, inside a black van, zooming down the sunny streets of the New York suburbs.</p><p>Taking a second to collect himself, Nico breaths deeply before looking around the driveway for the car. As promised, there’s a sleek, black Ferrari. He very nearly chokes at the sight of it. Some people really have way too much money to throw around. The keys are on the roof. Nico’s not sure he’s a good enough driver for a car that fast. No matter. He can’t give up now. Taking the bus is not an option, and neither is hailing a cab or an uber there. Looking at the car now, Nico understood why Calypso would tell him not to wreck it. He too, would be afraid of destroying it. The car probably costs more than Nico is worth and then some.</p><p>He quickly runs back inside and packs a duffle bag to take with him. His room is cold as usual but knowing he’ll see Leo soon, makes it a little warmer. Or maybe is just excited to see him again. It’s probably both.</p><p>He packs a jacket and a t-shirt and some underwear, then adds another two shirts for good measure, just in case. He’s not sure how long he’ll be staying. For all he knows, Leo might just kick him to the curb the moment he lays eyes on the car. But somehow, probably because of Calypso’s stern talking to, Nico doubts Leo will kick him out. The fear doesn’t go away completely, but it ebbs away for the time being. For now, he’s focused don shoving his toothpaste into his bag and zipping it shut before shrugging a jacket on and shuffling out of the house. He locks the door and nearly runs down the steps to the driveway in his haste to get into the car and find Leo. He can’t wait to see Leo.          </p><p>Figuring out the car turns out to be harder than expected but he does manage eventually. After an embarrassingly long time of sitting there and pushing buttons he didn’t understand. He contemplated calling Silena, she must surely know, but that would be embarrassing so he quickly shoves that idea away and figures it out himself. Yes, he did have a license but he’d gotten that when he was two years after Manhattan, when he was 16, and hasn’t really used it since. He’d only gotten it because of Percy in the first place. Percy had said that it would be good to have and that it couldn’t hurt to get one. So Nico had gotten it. And then promptly never used it after passing the test. Shadow travelling was way easier. Even as Leo’s assistant, he’d never driven much. Usually someone was there to pick them up and on the occasion that he had driven them somewhere, it had been a very short drive, in a way cheaper and simpler car. So no, Nico did not know how to operate a Ferrari, but he was willing to figure it out. For Leo.</p>
<hr/><p>The sun stayed all the way to the border to Maine. He’d left at around eight in the morning, and now, four hours later, it’s starting to disappear behind a wall of clouds and rain. Nico can’t even be mad at the weather. If he were a cloud, he’d like to start raining on shit too. His GPS tells him to take a left turn and he leaves the tiny town he’d been driving through and gets back on the highway. He glances at the arrival time and groans when he realizes that he still has almost five hours to go. Why did Leo have to choose to go all the way to Maine? Some tiny ass town near the border to Canada at that. Couldn’t he have picked a city closer to New York?</p><p>Nico debates more than once simply ditching the car and shadow travelling the rest of the way but there are two issues with that. One, he can’t just leave Calypso’s car in the middle of nowhere, even if it was wasn’t a Ferrari. Second, he’s not sure he’s emotionally stable enough to shadow travel to a place he’s never been to before. So that car it is. He hates it.</p><p>Halfway through Maine, Nico thinks about messaging Leo to tell him that he’s coming. He deserves to know. For Nico to just show up out of nowhere would be kind of rude. But Nico’s afraid that Leo will see the message and grab his things and disappear before Nico can even get close to the house. Knowing Leo, it’s likely that that’s what he’d do. Still, Nico doesn’t like the idea of barging in on Leo without invitation. Unfortunately for him, there’s not really anything he can do about it.</p><p>With every kilometer he gets closer to the house, Nico’s hands grow hotter. He hasn’t seen Nico in nearly four weeks. How is he supposed to just start a conversation?</p><p>‘<em>Hey, hi, I know that I was a dick to you, but you were hella rude as well and oh guess what you’re a demigod and there’s this half-way immortal dude who wants you at his summer camp and has been low-key stalking you since you were 17</em>’? Yeah no. That won’t work. Calypso had said that Leo and Piper and Jason are all demigods. And that Jo knows. So, does that mean Leo knows too? Has known this entire time and just let Nico think he doesn’t? Or does he not know, and Nico is about to lay the biggest plot twist of his life on him?</p><p>Nico doesn’t know anymore. All his thoughts are swimming into one and it’s too much to handle.<br/>
He pulls off the highway and into a random gas station. He can’t think right now. If he keeps driving now, he’d just crash and then Calypso will be mad at him. And he’ll be dead. But Calypso being mad is arguably worse.<br/>
The bell goes off above him as he steps into the dingy gas stion. There’s a girl sitting behind the counter, leaning back as far as her chair will allow her, scrolling aimlessly through her phone. She doesn’t even bother looking up when the bell chimes. If it wasn’t for the occasional movement of her hands, Nico would think she’s dead or frozen in time.</p><p>He grabs whatever doesn’t look foul along with anything he thinks Leo might like, and carries it to the counter, dropping it loudly to get the girl’s attention. She glares at nothing before putting on an uncomfortably fake customer service smile. She looks him up and down once, twice, before finally settling on the items on the counter.</p><p>“It’s raining a lot,” She says while scanning them, “You shouldn’t drive right now.”</p><p>Nico glances outside to find the rain having increased to pouring out of the sky. He sighs. He can’t drive very fast. Not like this. But getting to Leo even a second later than he already has, is a fate worse than death.</p><p>“I’ll be fine.”</p><p>“You could stay here until the rain is over. We have a heater too if it gets cold.” The girl offers, gesturing to a beat down space heater behind the counter.</p><p>Nico shakes his head, “I have to be somewhere soon.”</p><p>“Girlfriend?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Boyfriend?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>She hums and looks up him and down again. The scanner beeps one last time and then the items are placed in front of him and she’s proclaiming the price. He hands her a ten-dollar bill and tells her to keep the rest. She places a napkin next to his items with a wink and turns back to her phone. Nico looks down at the napkin and sees a set of messily scrawled numbers on it. Taking his stuff, he mumbles a quiet ‘bye’, exiting the gas station. He discards the napkin in a rubbish bin near the door and unlocks the door. His sweater is wet from walking to his car through the pelting rain and his hands are cold but he’d found out an hour into the drive that the car has a seat heater, so he turns it on and starts the car, ready to disappear into the storm and find Leo.</p>
<hr/><p>It’s still raining when he arrives at the address Calypso had given him, but at least it’s not pelting anymore. The moment he steps out of the car, Nico regrets only wearing a thin sweater. It’s cold as fuck and every single hair, down to the last baby hair on his neck, stands up at the sudden change in temperature. His hands shake around the plastic bag with snacks and he struggles to lock the car.</p><p>Taking one last deep breath, he steps on the gravel of the driveway and makes his way up the short flight of stairs to the terrace where the front door is.</p><p>He rings it three times before it opens and he’s suddenly standing in front of Leo for the first time in a month.</p><p>“Hi, Leo.” He says and Leo grows impossibly pale.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>lmao this was meant to be 5k like the rest yet here we are</p><p>anyway not @ me spelling Silena as Selena this entire time and then having to go in and fix it afterward lmaooo send help</p><p>I hope y'all liked it and that it was fine and thanks for reading come talk to me in the comments if you want</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Wait for me to come home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I tried to beta and edit it this time so I really did my absolute best and I hope it's easier to read this time!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Leave.”</p>
<p>Nico’s ears ring and he clenches his fist, his fingers turning white, “No.”</p>
<p>“Leave, before I call the cops on you.”</p>
<p>“For what?” Nico challenges, “Doing my fucking job?”</p>
<p>Leo grits his teeth. Nico is sure that if he listens closely, he’ll be able to hear his jaw locking. There’s a long pause, the only sound the incessant pounding of rain behind Nico. It fits so well with the situation, Nico hates it; hates that he doesn’t feel elated, or relieved, or even remotely happy seeing Leo again. He hates that all he feels is fear, and the lingering feeling of remorse. Remorse, because he let Leo go in the first place, when he was meant to take care of him. Remorse that, like always Nico was too caught up in himself to save someone.</p>
<p>“Let me in, it’s fucking cold in out here.”</p>
<p>Leo scoffs, “Drive back to New York, it’ll be warm there,” he says before shoving the door closed right in Nico’s face. It shuts with a dull <em>thunk</em>, and Nico is left standing out on the porch. He raps his hand against the door again. No answer. He tries again. The tell-tale sound of water splashing echoes across the massive estate and Nico wonders what kind of maniac goes swimming in the rain. Setting the bag of snacks down on the porch, Nico slides down the wall and throws his head back against the stone.</p>
<p>He hadn’t expected it to go well. From the very beginning, from that first, horrible magazine he’d seen of Leo, to the horrible Instagram-live yesterday, Nico had known that it wouldn’t go well. He’d gone into this being fully aware that Leo is a hand full. But Nico has two hands,  and by now, Nico is more than willing to put in that work if it means he got to see Leo smile at him just one more time. To see him grin and laugh and nod along happily to something Nico said.</p>
<p>He wishes, not for the first time, that he were mortal. A mere teenager, born to a normal mother, into a normal life. Maybe then, he’d have met Leo under better circumstances. Who was he kidding, he wouldn’t have met Leo at all. He’d have been left to dream about an idol he’d never meet, in a small bedroom all alone with no hand to hold and no one to talk to. Nico knows that given the chance; he wouldn’t give this up for the world. Not if Chiron suddenly told him he’d pay for a full ride to college and a nice apartment downtown. He’d still pick having met Leo. Nothing would make this not worth it.</p>
<p>Meeting Leo, watching him grin and smile, watching him crash and being the one to help him up again, chasing him across the country with just an inch of an inkling that he might be there, Nico would do it all again, and again, and again until he’s grey and old, if it means he has a chance to help Leo one more time. It will all have been worth it, once he can just reach out and hold him and promise him the world. Nico knows that accepting that damned quest months ago, was the best decision he’s ever made, and he’ll be damned if he lets Leo slip through his fingers again.</p>
<p>He gets up from the floor, steadying himself on the window ledge, and raps his hand against the door. He knocks and knocks until his knuckles hurt and when the pain becomes too much and he’s afraid the wood might splinter with the violent thrusts, he presses the doorbell until his fingers turn white and his hands go numb in the cold. He stands in front of the door, hears the rain fade to a soft pitter-patter and watches the clouds turn into fog.</p>
<p>“You really won’t give up, huh?”</p>
<p>The door gets pulled open suddenly, and Nico’s hand halts in the air, just as he was about to try knocking again.</p>
<p>“I came to make sure you’re not dead, and I’m not leaving until I do.”</p>
<p>Leo lets out a sardonic laugh and cocks his hip. His hair is wet and he’s dripping on the stone floor, “Here I am, blood and bones, still alive. Does that satisfy you?”</p>
<p>“No,” Nico pushes forward, ignoring Leo’s protests and lets himself into the house. He grips the bag of snacks tighter at the sight in front of him.</p>
<p>The entry opens right into a large, rustic living and cooking area. At the far-right corner, there’s a massive kitchen, with stone counters and wooden cupboards. On the kitchen isle, a broken glass lays shattered, next to a wrinkled suit. Nico has no doubt that if he opened the fridge, he’d find next to nothing. The stone floor is cold and Nico wonders whether Leo has turned on the floor heating yet, or whether he’s been walking through the freezing house there past few weeks.</p>
<p>The ceilings are low and if the sun were shining, maybe then the house would look comfortable. But with the way Leo is glaring and the cold seeping in from every crevice in the house, not even the soft looking sofa or the adorable fireplace can make Nico feel at ease.</p>
<p>Across from Nico, a set of wooden stairs sits next to a dark hallway leading to God knows where. There’s light filtering down from the staircase, and Nico figures that Leo probably spends most of his time upstairs. The terrace door is open, and Nico can see the massive pool looking out over the ocean. It seems ridiculous to him; to have a pool when he could easily walk down to the shore.</p>
<p>On a surface level, the house looks comfortable. Perfectly organized, right from an IKEA catalogue. But when Nico looks closer, he sees that the shelves haven’t been dusted in weeks, and the pillows look like they’ve been thrown around recently, probably at the paintings and photographs now hanging askew on the walls. Nico’s hands itch to reach out and right them.</p>
<p>“No,” Nico tells him when he regains his bearings, “I need to make sure you’re okay.”</p>
<p>“<em>Why</em>?” Leo asks, throwing his hands in the air, “I’m fucking great, alright. I’m just peachy. I eat, and I sleep, and I go swimming. What more do you want?”</p>
<p>“We both know that you’re not alright.”</p>
<p>“Oh, do we?”</p>
<p>“Are you dense?” Nico retorts, “I can see your fucking ribs and I know for a fact that your fridge is empty. You looked close to a meltdown in your live!”</p>
<p>Nico doesn’t mean to yell. Especially not when Leo flinches and when he hears his words echo against the stone and wood walls. But it slipped out and the anger is justified.</p>
<p>“Well, that’s my damn business, isn’t it?” Leo yells back, “I’m an adult and I can do whatever the fuck I want. Go back to New York and tell Jo to fuck off and to leave me alone.”</p>
<p>Nico nearly busts a vein, his blood boiling beneath his skin, “I’m not here on behalf of Jo!”</p>
<p>“Then why the hell are you here, Nico?” Leo spit out, “Just to mock and ridicule me? To tell me that I can’t live without you? Is that what this is, some sick power trip?”</p>
<p>“I’m here because I care about you! Is that so hard to understand?”</p>
<p>Leo let out a choked out laugh and spun away, “Of course, yes, how blind of me. You care about me, sure.”</p>
<p>“I’m serious.” Nico insists and with every word he finds himself growing more desperate. He needs Leo to understand. He needs him to finally understand that he’s important, and not just for a business transaction.</p>
<p>“Next, you’ll tell me that you just want to help me, right?”</p>
<p>“Stop being an idiot and listen to me,” Nico crosses the space between them, gripping Leo’s wrist tightly and spins him back around to face him, “I’m here because I was worried about you and I was scared. I’ve been looking for you for weeks.”</p>
<p>Leo stares at him with wide eyes. They remind Nico of the sun, burning into his very core and asking him to tell the truth. To stop lying and finally be honest. Except there’s no truth to surrender because if Nico knows one thing, it’s that he’s been honest about his intentions since he decided that Chiron could go fuck himself all those months ago.</p>
<p>“How did you find me, Nico?” Leo asks and it nearly knocks Nico out right there. His voice is so soft, like the wind whistling through an alley late at night, like rain dripping down the window at midnight, when the world is too loud, and nothing makes sense.</p>
<p>“Calypso told me,” Nico says. He doesn’t see the point in lying, “She was worried about you. She told me to find you.”</p>
<p>“Why didn’t she come instead?”</p>
<p>Nico loosens his grip, but doesn’t let go and shakes his head, “I don’t know. She told me to find you. To bring you home.”</p>
<p>“I’m not going back.”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to,” Nico assures him, “Just—Just please let me in.”</p>
<p>“You’re already here,” Leo says, a sad attempt at a joke, “You barged right through my front door.”</p>
<p>Nico doesn’t laugh, only looks at him more insistently, as though that will convey everything he’s feeling, “You know what I mean. Let me in and let me help you. I won’t force you to go back, not until you’re ready. Just let me make it right. Please.”</p>
<p>“You can’t make it right anymore,” Leo tells him, “There’s nothing to right. You made your choice and there’s nothing you can do about it now.”</p>
<p>Nico knows what he means, has been beating himself up about it for weeks, ever since he woke up to find Leo missing. He’s been trying to think of a way to apologize without revealing the truth about himself. He hadn’t come to any conclusion.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” is all he says.</p>
<p>Leo lets out a breathless chuckle and his shoulders shake. Nico’s not sure whether he’s about to start laughing in his face or begin crying. He doesn’t know which would be worse.</p>
<p>“Oh, you’re sorry?” he breathes out, his words turning into a storm, knocking Nico right off his feet, “Now you’re sorry? You come into my job and mess it all up, you weasel your way into my life and carve out a space to stay, and then you go AWOL and ruin it all again. You think you can just disappear and apologize, and it’ll be fine? You think you can just ditch your job and then come back like nothing happened? You think you can just ditch <em>me</em>, and it’ll all be fine?”</p>
<p>“Leo—”</p>
<p>“No, you listen to me.” His finger digs into Nico’s chest, sharp nails poking right into Nico’s heart and tearing it apart, “I trusted you. I put myself into your hands and you dropped me and left. What was I supposed to do while you were gone, huh? Just go on with my life? Nico, in case you couldn’t fucking tell, if I didn’t need you, I wouldn’t have hired you.”</p>
<p>“I was gone for a week and a half!” Nico argues, pushing right back into Leo’s personal space, “You’ve been off the radar for three weeks. You tell me I’m ditching my job, yet here you are practically ignoring everything just because you wanna have a little vacation.”</p>
<p>“My job isn’t assisting other people. My job is to act and to entertain, and I can do that from wherever I want.”</p>
<p>Nico laughs, “Right, so you decided to just drop off the face of the earth without informing anyone?” he rolls his eyes and throws his hands up.</p>
<p>This argument is long overdue, but with every word, he realizes how ridiculous it is. Here they are, accusing each other of ditching one another, when they’d never even agreed what their relationship was. Nico knows that whatever it is, it exceeds work. No boss is this dependent on their employee, and certainly no employee cares this much for their employer.</p>
<p>“Leo, are you dense? You have insane fans, who will stop at nothing to get close to you. You of all people should know that. Did you really think you could just leave, and no one would care or notice?” Leo makes a strange expression, but Nico is too pent up to think about it too much, “You could’ve been kidnapped! Or killed, or Gods know what! Leo, you cannot just be leaving like this.”</p>
<p>“Why do you care?” Leo bites back, “You’re my assistant. You do your job and that’s it.”</p>
<p>“I can’t do my job if you won’t let me anywhere near you.”</p>
<p>“Then go home. I’m giving you time off until I decide to come back. There. Now you can just do as I say and leave me alone.”</p>
<p>“I’m not leaving Leo.”</p>
<p>Leo groans and huffs, “Why not? You say you wanna do your job but when I tell you how to you won’t. I don’t know what to tell you anymore.”</p>
<p>“For fuck’s sake, just fire me then. Clearly you don’t want me to do my job.”</p>
<p>The room falls silent as they stare at each other. Leo watches him like a deer caught in headlights. The idea seems to have never even occurred to him. Nico swallows tightly and prays to any God that will listen that Leo wouldn’t do it. That he’d see reason and let Nico stay.</p>
<p>“Ok. You’re fired.”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>Leo nods his head and says with more conviction than before, “I said you’re fired. That’s what you wanted, right?”</p>
<p>“I said to do what you wanted.”</p>
<p>“Well, I’m firing you.”</p>
<p>“Leo—” Nico starts but can’t think of anything else to say. What is there to say? Leo fired him and there’s nothing Nico can do. There’s no obligation that could keep him here.</p>
<p>“You’re free now. You have no responsibility anymore. So, go,” Leo says, “Leave. Go back home and tell Jo that I fired you. She’ll give you an extra cheque for finding me and you don’t ever have to see me again.”</p>
<p>“I don’t want a cheque. I don’t care about the money; I don’t need it.” Nico tells him, trying to keep the desperation at bay as it slips through his teeth.</p>
<p>“Then why are you here, Nico? Because I honestly don’t know anymore. I fired you and you’re still standing in front of me. That doesn’t add up.”</p>
<p>Nico bites the inside of his cheek, contemplating before throwing caution to the wind, sending one last prayer to Hades to give him a gentle welcome when Leo inevitably drowns him in the pool, and finally let half of the truth spill,</p>
<p>“Because I care about you. I want you to be okay and I worry about you,” He tries to ignore Leo’s expression shifting but it’s nearly impossible, “I was terrified when I woke up and I saw you were missing. I thought that maybe one of the crazy fans that keep calling and doxing you had finally gotten in. I thought you’d gone out at night and hadn’t found home. Fuck, Leo I was thinking of every single horrible thing that could happen, for weeks. I spent every day sitting in front of that goddamn laptop trying to find you. Do you really, still think I don’t give a damn about you?”</p>
<p>“That’s your problem,” Leo says and Nico’s breath stops, “I never asked you to care about me. That’s on you.”</p>
<p>“Why won’t you just let me care about you?”</p>
<p>“Because,” Leo says, “you’ll leave. Everyone always leaves. They get tired and they eventually realize that this life isn’t for them and they leave. You left. Why would I believe you now that you’re here?”</p>
<p>“I’m back. I came back. I left, yes. But I came back, and I looked for you when you left. I followed and I came and I’m not leaving.”</p>
<p>“You’ll leave as soon as you get what you want.”</p>
<p>“And what do I want?” Nico asks, “You just fired me, and I don’t have any other job. I’m not interested in doxing or exposing you and I don’t care for another job in the industry. What could I possibly want from you?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know.” Leo whispers.</p>
<p>Nico steps closer and grips his wrist again. He doesn’t trust himself to hold his hand. Not now. Not yet.</p>
<p>“Then believe me when I say, I’m here because I want to be.”</p>
<p>Leo stares at him and Nico waits for the shoe to drop. For Leo to find some other reason. To think of some ridiculous reason as to why Nico is trying to extort him, will leave him, will break him. A reason doesn’t come. Instead, Leo nods, slowly—painfully so—and makes a fist so tight it has to hurt,</p>
<p>“Ok,” He whispers, “Ok. I believe you.”</p>
<p>“You do?”</p>
<p>Leo nods, refusing to look into Nico’s eyes, his gaze fixed on their hands, “But if I have even so much as an ounce of doubt, or I think that you’re lying to me, or that you’re going to leave me then I will not hesitate to kick you out of my life and tell Jo to file a restraining order against you.”</p>
<p>“I won’t. I swear,” It’s as close as he can get to swearing on the river Styx and for now it will have to be enough.</p>
<p>Leo holds out his pinky childishly for Nico to take, “Pinky promise.”</p>
<p>Nico finds it ridiculous but if that’s what it takes for Leo to believe him, he’ll do it. At this point, if Leo asked him to jump off a cliff, he’d ask how high and go for it. Lifting his hand as well, he hooks his left pinky with Leo’s and nods.</p>
<p>“I pinky promise.”</p>
<p>Leo manages a tiny little thing of a smile and lets Nico’s hand go. With his hand leaving, so does the warmth spreading through Nico’s body and he instantly regrets ever letting go. Taking a stabilizing breath, Nico looks around the room. He’s not sure what to do now. The argument is over technically, though he knows that as much as Leo claims it, he doesn’t actually believe Nico for good. He believes him for a moment but the second Nico steps out of place, Leo’s trust will be gone like the clouds on a sunny day. Nico vows to himself not to lose it. Right now, Leo’s trust is the most precious thing he’s ever owned, and he’ll die before letting it go.</p>
<p>Leo coughs awkwardly and shoves his hands into his shorts, “So, what now? Are you going back now that you’ve found me?”</p>
<p>His voice is unsure, and Nico wants to shake his head and assure him he’ll never leave if that’s what Leo asks. He doesn’t. He sets his shoulders and marches to the kitchen, depositing the little bag of snacks he’d brought on the kitchen island. He grabs the broken glass, throwing it away, and swipes the tiny shards into the trash. Afterwards he takes the rumpled suit and eyes it, before folding it haphazardly the way Silena taught him, and places it on one of the barstools.</p>
<p>“I’m making you lunch. I know you haven’t eaten yet.”</p>
<p>“How do you know?” Leo asks offendedly. He steps closer and watches Nico bustle around the kitchen.</p>
<p>“You’ve been livestreaming all morning and I know you were responding to questions on Instagram earlier. There’s no way you ate in between that.”</p>
<p>Leo narrows his eyes, “Are you sure you’re an assistant and not a detective?”</p>
<p>“I’m neither. You fired me, remember?” Nico’s not sure whether it’s best to remind Leo of the argument they just had. But it’s the first thing that comes to mind, so he says it. He’s never been one to hold his tongue. Now that he’s been fired, he may as well say whatever he wants. He’s no longer contractually obliged to be nice to Leo.</p>
<p>“Maybe I should hire you as my cook then,” Leo retorts and Nico breathes a sigh of relief. Thank god Leo bounces back quickly, even just pretending. Nico’s good at pretend. They can pretend for now.</p>
<p>“You wish,” he tells him and opens the first cupboard he sees. When he finds it empty, he opens the next, and then the next, and the next, and the one next to that one. He takes every item he finds and places it on the island next to the snacks. He ends up with three packs of ramen, off-date orange juice, a carton of milk, and a carton of eggs. Nico sighs,</p>
<p>“Is this seriously all you have?”</p>
<p>“I was fine.”</p>
<p>“Leo, you were living like a college student. You’re a millionaire. You do not need to be living like this.”</p>
<p>“What if I want to live like this?”</p>
<p>Nico raises an eyebrow and Leo rolls his eyes, “We’re going grocery shopping.”</p>
<p>“Says who?”</p>
<p>“Says me.”</p>
<p>Leo shakes his head, “No. Who knows whether we’re actually going to the store? You could just drive to the interstate and take me home.”</p>
<p>“I won’t. I promise.” Nico answers. He feels like he’s talking to a frightened animal. Every word could be the last, the wrong one, the one to set off another argument. Even the light chatter just a few seconds ago made Nico fear for his life. What if he mentions something and Leo hates him? What if Leo doesn’t like something Nico says and drowns him?</p>
<p>“Promises are useless. They don’t mean anything.”</p>
<p>“They do to me,” Nico says and pretends like he doesn’t see the hypocrisy in Leo’s statement, when they just made a promise no five minutes ago. For now, he’ll just play along with Leo’s moods and see where it takes him.</p>
<p>“You promised not to leave and to always be there for me and then went AWOL.”</p>
<p>Nico’s heart squeezes at the reminder, “I’m here now. I came back and I’m here now and I promise that I won’t take you home.”</p>
<p>Leo looks unconvinced so Nico tries again.</p>
<p>“We’ll go to town and get some groceries and then we’ll come right back here, and I’ll make you late lunch, or dinner, or whatever you want to call it.”</p>
<p>“I don’t want to leave,” Leo says eventually.</p>
<p>Nico hesitates before answering, “Have you—Have you been outside at all since you came here?”</p>
<p>“I went to the pier once.”</p>
<p>Nico nods and doesn’t let his disappointment show. He’d hoped that Leo would have at least gone outside a little. No such luck. He nods to himself and looks around the room before making a decision,</p>
<p>“Alright. We’ll do it this way,” he faces Leo again and does his best to look open and non-threatening, “I’ll go to the store and get whatever you want. While I’m gone you pick a movie or show we can watch while we eat later. Just like we did in London.”</p>
<p>“You’re staying for dinner?” Leo asks and Nico thinks it was obvious that he would, but he doesn’t point it out, “I thought you have to be back to tell Jo that you found me.”</p>
<p>“You fired me, I don’t have to be anywhere.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Is all Leo says and Nico doesn’t really know what to say either. So, he just clears his throat awkwardly and makes his way to the front door.</p>
<p>“Is there anything specific you want?”</p>
<p>Leo shakes his head. Nico opens the front door, gives a long look to the bowl with the keys next to it, and then steps across the threshold,</p>
<p>“You better pick a good movie for later, Valdez,” he calls as he leaves and the small, insecure laugh he gets in return is the best sound he’s heard in weeks. His chest swells, and he thinks that maybe not all is lost yet.</p>
<p>He gets in Calypso’s car and finally lets himself breath properly for the first time since he got here. The lump in his throat loosens and he swallows, taking calming breaths as he closes his eyes. His body is running on adrenaline and it’s calming down now, letting him feel again. His hands tingle and his arms start shaking against the steering wheel. Fuck. He can’t believe he really just almost lost Leo for good. He can’t help but think, what if? What if he hadn’t stood his ground? Had simply nodded and left like Leo told him to? Would Nico ever have gotten his heart back from where it was held precariously in Leo’s clumsy hands? Would Leo have even cared if Nico had left? Fuck, would it have been that last push he’d need for a full breakdown? Nico doesn’t want to think about it, but the thoughts keep coming and Nico can’t keep them at bay.</p>
<p>The steering wheel’s leather is a steady anchor point and Nico thinks that if it weren’t for the cold seeping into his hands, he’d be six feet under, having a horrible chat with Hades right now.</p>
<p>He pulls out of the driveway reluctantly and looks for the nearest grocery store on the car’s GPS. Leaving Leo alone right now doesn’t sit right with him but letting him live off of ramen and off-date orange juice sounds arguably worse, so Nico steels himself and drives through the tiny town in search for a grocery store. The town is small and most of the people Nico passes are either old people, or parents with small children. It’s serene in a way Nico wouldn’t have expected. It reminds him of New Rome in a way. If New Rome wasn’t entirely militarized and separated from the outside world. He thinks that maybe New Rome could be like this. Maybe if demigods stopped insisting on living separately from the world, then maybe Nico wouldn’t have to choose between two opposing worlds right now.</p>
<p>The grocery store’s parking lot is empty and Nico wonders whether it’s even open. The sign on the door claims that it is so he pushes the door open and enters the far too large store. He passes by rows upon rows of prepackaged food and snacks. It occurs to him, somewhere between the eggs and the bread isle, that he doesn’t actually know what Leo likes to eat. They’ve eaten together once, and that was a cheat day so really it doesn’t count because the food for cheat days is as unhealthy as possible. Nico doubts that Leo actually eats only chicken wings and fries.</p>
<p>So, he grabs anything he thinks a normal household should have. He takes whatever he’s seen at Camp and the occasional food he remembers liking at the Lotus Casino. At check out the lady gives him a sweet smile and asks him how his days was. Nico hopes that Leo will be as happy about his return as the lady was about him buying yogurt. At the very least, he hopes that Leo won’t be mad at him. That in the short hour and a half it took Nico to get groceries, he won’t have changed his mind. That by the end of the night, Nico will be sleeping on the sofa, not in his car at a gas station.</p>
<p>His hands are busy holding the paper bags, so he resorts to kicking the door until someone opens it. He’d contemplated using shadow travel, but he’s not sure how he’d explain to Leo how he got into his house without a key. Kicking the door, it is.</p>
<p>It takes four kicks for Leo to open the door and another for good measure because Nico was getting impatient.</p>
<p>“You came back,” Leo says and he sounds a little breathless, like he ran to the door when he heard the kicking. Flowers blooms in Nico’s chest at the thought.</p>
<p>“Of course, I did. I promised, right?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Leo answers, shaking his head and stepping to the side to let Nico in, this time without the yelling, “Yeah, of course. You promised.”</p>
<p>The words are mumbled, and Nico thinks Leo’s speaking more to himself than anything, so he doesn’t answer just walks to the kitchen to deposit the bags. Leo follows obediently and peeks into one of the brown paper bags.</p>
<p>“You got a lot of food.”</p>
<p>“You have a lot of cupboards to fill,” Nico retorts. He begins putting away the groceries and nearly yelps in surprise when he finds Leo helping him. Key word being nearly, because years of capture the flag and hiding from monsters have beaten any response to surprise out of him. He couldn’t flinch if he tried.</p>
<p>“I don’t want the ramen to be up that high,” Leo tells him, taking the package from Nico’s hand and depositing it in one of the lower cabinets near the floor, “I can’t reach it otherwise.”</p>
<p>“We’ll get you a step stool.”</p>
<p>Leo kicks his shin, but Nico figures it was worth it. If Leo’s joking around, then maybe they’re okay. Not good yet, and far from perfect, but they’re good and for now that’s all Nico can find it in himself to care about. He doesn’t need wonderful or perfect or phenomenal when he can have Leo smiling at him with that dumb smile he has after he does something Nico should scold him for but won’t.</p>
<p>“Did you pick a movie yet?” Nico asks. He shoves the eggs into a cabinet a little higher up, figures Leo won’t be the one making them anyway, and then puts the things that need to go into the freezer away as well. When he looks back to Leo, he’s sitting on the kitchen isle kicking his legs back and forth. He won’t look at Nico, but at least he’s not yelling or crying or doing anything else worrying.</p>
<p>“I wasn’t sure what you’d like.”</p>
<p>“I don’t care,” Nico tells him and it’s the truth. He doesn’t. he barely knows any movies anyway. Sure, over the past few years he’s been watching some more TV, but it’s hard to catch up with nearly 90 years of TV in the span of just a little more than six years.</p>
<p>“We can watch Gravity Falls,” Leo says after a while.</p>
<p>Nico shrugs, “Sure. If you want.”</p>
<p>Leo smiles a little and Nico feels at ease. He jumps off the counter and goes to the sofas spread out around a fireplace, the TV mounted above it. Nico watches him go and his heart aches at how domestic at feels. His limbs are still tingly from the argument and he feels out of place in a house with so much room, but somehow it feels like home. Not the house, Nico’s never been there before, but the situation.</p>
<p>Watching Leo sit on the sofa as he looks for whatever show it was, he wanted to watch. Cooking for him and bringing it to him so they can eat together. Laughing at dumb jokes and corny one-liners in a show that Nico knows is definitely for kids but enjoys anyway. It feels like a home he never had, and Nico won’t ever give it up. He’s finally found his peace. It came with arguing and fighting and a heartache Nico hasn’t felt since he watched Percy fall in love with someone else, but it’s worth it. He knows. He’d go through any argument and every fight and every inch of heartbreak again if it means that he gets to sit next to Leo and watch cartoons for dinner.</p>
<p>They still have so much to talk about. Leo won’t look him in the eye and the conversation feels stilted and half the time, Nico’s afraid to speak because he doesn’t know whether Leo will kick him to the curb or not. But they can talk later.</p>
<p>Nico’s phone keeps buzzing and when he checked earlier, he found approximately a million calls from Jo and a good dozen texts from Calypso. He doesn’t reply. Right now, it’s just them, in the little, unsteady bubble they’ve created for themselves.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So I've been re-reading this work recently and I realized how shitty the first few chapters up to like chp. 11 are. Seriouls how did any of you actually get through them lmao I cringed so hard while reading them (not to mention the inordinate amount of spelling mistakes jfc).<br/>I've been working on editing so I'll be updating old chapters once in a while.<br/>Thank you to everyone who pointed my mistakes out to my I'm kinda embarrassed that there are so many but I do my best to fix them.<br/>Like I've said before, English is my third language and I'm dyslexic so I have a hard time reading and correcting, but that's not an excuse and I'll do better spelling wise in the future so that it won't be as horrible to read anymore!!!!</p>
<p>Thank you for reading!! It means a lot to me and I get excited every time someone comments or gives me kudos so thank you for that I'm infinitely grateful!!!</p>
<p>Come talk to me on <a href="https://oh-reolli.tumblr.com">Tumblr</a> I'll be happy to hang out!!!!</p>
<p>Let me know if you have any theories, suggestions, or just wanna talk to me (either here or on Tumblr I don't care, I'll do my best to respond to any comments I think want an answer lmao)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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